And all through the house
Everyone was bitching,
Especially my spouse…With my sis in the whore house
And my bro smoking grass
I had just settled in
For a sweet piece of ass.
Then out on the lawn,
I heard such a clatter
That I jumped up from my whore,
To see what the fuck was the matter.
Away to the windows
I made that made dash!
But slipped on some precum,
And I busted my ass…
Then what to my stoned eyes did appear?
It was a rusted out sleigh,
And eight fucking reindeer!
There was a dirty old man,
He was beating his dick,
And I knew without doubt
Hey, it must be Saint Nick!
He bounced off a roof top
And over the house wall
Screaming, “Onward you fuckers or it’s off with your balls!”
Then he came down the chimney,
Like a bat out of Hell…
I knew in that moment,
The fat fucker…he fell.
He said not a word,
Gave his cock a quick jerk,
Winked right at me,
And then got straight to work.
He filled up our stockings
With whiskey and beer!
Oh, and a big rubber cock,
For my brother…that queer.
That’s when he rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart…
That son of a bitch…
He blew my chimney apart!
He swore and cussed
As he swerved out of sight
Yelling, “Fuck all you bastards…
I’ve had a Hell of a night!”
——
This appeared on my old Geocities website (musashinobouken) as early as 1996 and has since be circulated around the Internet in incomplete forms.
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Posted 12/25/2010 at 2:23 AM on Xanga
Ramblings from the Sunrie 