To the person who has bookmarked my site on the Little Mermaid entry…

Come on, brah. Do you not realize I know when you visit my writings I can see where you entered in from? I’m glad you’re inflating the stats for that entry, but seriously, book mark the main site: Sunrie.Wordpress.Com. Get with the program.


“Be saved, my child, from your stupidity, or else I’ll break a shotgun off up yo’ ass” – Dude-aronomy 3:14

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Understanding the Dangers of Furries – Think of the Children!!!

Mmm *moan* Oh yeah! Look at that anthropomorphic wolf up there. Does that turn you on? Yes? Then congrats…you’re a furry! No? Then, according to the furry community, you’re just a hater and uneducated. It’s time for you to get to know about furries, my dear reader, and think of the children.

People who find animals sexually interesting are known by a few names:

  • Furries
  • Fursons
  • Fur Fags
  • Sick Individuals with a Bestiality Fetish

All of these are fitting. Yes, even the third one. Why? Because the biggest group of people who are into this fetish are homosexual males. That’s not important, though. Why not? Because I’m writing this and I said so!

Here’s a break down on each of those bullet points above:


Furries

fur·ry
/ˈfərē/
noun (informal)
noun: furry; plural noun: furries

1. an enthusiast for animal characters with human characteristics, in particular a person who dresses up in costume as such a character or uses one as an avatar online.

Furries will create and wear costumes in order to live out an anonymous fantasy. You will see them shopping, eating, working, and skipping down the street. Just because they call themselves furries, it does not mean the animal they “become” actually needs to have fur. A subgroup of the furries is the Other Kin members who are sexually attracted to any type of animal, such as sharks or hairless moles.

Most of the community will also engage in massive orgies, known as Yiffing, while wearing the outfits they made. In true hedonism, they will gorge themselves on wine and food before exploding into a flood of ravage sexual acts. If you are in the area when the Yiffing starts, then you will often be pulled into against your will.

Online, you will find communities dedicated to the fetish. Several of these websites are dedicated to hiding the true nature of furries by pretending they are just in it for “escapism” (more on this in Fursons). Nothing could be further from the truth. The furries are known to hijack entire kid friendly programs and turn them into a highly sexualized version targeted to lure in children and groom them to the lifestyle. Of all the examples, the most profound is what they have done to My Little Pony and have called themselves Bronies. Again, the vast majority of the fan base is homosexual males trying to attract underage children.


Fursona

A combination of the word “person” and “furry”. Furries believe a person who wants to be an animal, or feels they are actually an animal trapped in a human body, or just wants to have sex with animals without actually having sex with animals, should be a protected class and another “sexual spectrum”, such as homosexuality. They do this in order to normalize their behavior and groom children.

Expanding on the Furson definition is what’s called a Fursona. The Fursona is what the person becomes, or as they claim “what the person actually is”, when wearing the outfit or engaging in the fetish. This is a combination of the words “persona” and “furry”. Seeing a trend here with the naming scheme they have come up with?

Furries claim this is all nothing more than a form of escapism. A person’s Fursona can be an “on all the time” issue even when not in costume. Because furries believe they really are these animals, they will often behave in the same way, always being their Fursona. You’ll see them chasing cats if they “are” a dog, hissing at dogs if they “are” a cat, or masturbating up to eight hours in one sitting if they “are” a mink.


Fur Fags

As mentioned before, the largest group involved in this fetish is homosexual males. The ratio of homosexual males to the rest of the community currently sits at 9:1, followed by homosexual females at 3:1, bi-sexual sitting at 2.8:1 and heterosexual sitting at 0.3:1. These numbers should come as no surprise to anyone, and is the origin for the term.

A large number of the furry community wear the term Fur Fag as a badge of honor and will identify themselves as such instead of being a furry. Even when being a furry and/or being a homosexual has nothing to do with what is at hand, they will quickly identify themselves as such and make sure you understand being a homosexual and a furry is everything they are. Again, they do this to normalize homosexuality, bestiality, and to groom children.

One of the most famous furry fetish members is known as Sonic Roxy Foxy, real name Damion MacDean. He is a high level fighting video game competitor, and almost always wears his furry costume to the tournaments. When he wins, he throws his controller down and screams, “YOU GOT BEAT BY A FURRY AND A FAGGOT!!!!!” His entire personality is that of a furry and a homosexual. Damion MacDean is pushed by many fighting game communities as someone to look up to, further pushing the agenda on children. The Street Fighter Pro-Tournament, Mortal Kombat World Tournament, and Tekken: Iron Fist Match Makers Tournament all use him as a draw to get people watching.


Sick Individuals with a Bestiality Fetish

As mentioned before, one of the biggest reasons people get into the furry community is to act out ravenous sexual conduct with as many anonymous partners as possible, but that’s not all. The entire community is rife with antisemitism and anti-Christianity ideology. The furry fetish is sick on many levels.

First off, the sexual deviation. Furry conventions are literal breeding grounds. Members show up, start to over indulge in food and alcohol, often large amounts of illicit drugs are used, and entire side rooms are filled with multiple partners having sex with each other with no other attempt at privacy. Since everyone is encouraged to join in at anytime, doors will be left wide open for the viewing pleasure of those walking by.

Bestiality is at the core of it all, as most furries will admit to being unable to find the human form attractive. While they often don’t have a preference for their sexual partner’s costume (being a wolf doesn’t mean they will not have sex with a rabbit, for instance), they simply cannot have sex without the other person being in animal form. Most drawings and photos of furries within their communities, therefore, are done in this way. The front sides of communities are often done in a seemingly family friendly way in order to bait children deeper in their depravity.

Antisemitism runs rampant in the furry community. Often times they will draw their characters in Nazi-esque style outfits when they actually wear clothing. Their favorite stories are claimed to be 1984 and Animal Farm by George Orwell. They do not see those stories as cautionary tales, however, and instead refer to them as “basic guides on how to build an ideal world”. Their favorite documentary/non-fiction is always listed as Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler as well. Most of this is hidden from the direct eyes of the public as they require “initiations” to be part of the deeper community in order to keep out prying eyes.


I hope you certainly have a more detailed understanding to the dangers of furries and will think of the children! I certainly am.


Okay…some of you really need to stop thinking of the children! That’s not what I meant!!!

10 Things You Didn’t Know You Can Do in Red Dead Redemption 2 – Number 9 Will Blow You Away!


The latest epic by Rockstar Games has been out for some time now, and it’s no surprise there are a ton of things players have found out you can do that wasn’t stated outright. Just like in Grand Theft Auto 5, many secrets have been found and solved. Everything from actual aliens to Yetis has been proven to be in the game. We’re not here to talk about Easter eggs, though. Here’s a list of things players have found out they can do in epic, and realistic, fashion.

Oh, and there will be spoilers on number ten. Be warned!


1. Use your lasso on larger animals for quick, clean kill
Tired of tying to get the perfect shot on deer, elk, pigs, bears, goats, sheep, and dogs? Toss out your lasso and walk towards them. They will be locked in place and enable you too get a clean kill with a prompt once you are close enough. Don’t run out of stamina, though!

 

2. Herd Sheep / Become a Shepard
Ever wanted to live your life not as an outlaw, but as a Shepard? Well, now you can! Yes, that’s right. You can epic murder a family running a farm and take it over. Afterward, you can herd their sheep or sheep you have found in the world into corrals and raise them. There is an incredibly detailed breeding system built into the game, almost as if Rockstar Games was hoping you would find this and play the game this way. Once you’ve figured out the breeding, you’ll want to start entering them into animal shows and selling off wool, as well as mutton, for money. It’s the fastest way to get a wife in the game as well.

 

3. You can change your horse follow distance with a whistle
Want your horse to be right up on your butt? Then tap the up arrow. Want your horse to follow a bit further back? Then hold the up arrow. This gives you distance options at the tap or hold of a button.

 

4. Self Reflection and Loathing
There are a lot of deep themes in RDR2. Players have found out Arthur Morgan can self narrate and find loathing in his actions by looking in a mirror. If you rent a hotel room for the night, you will be given the ability to look at the mirror. Arthur Morgan will then go on a monologue, the length of which will depend on how long it’s been since your last self confession. Be warned, though, if you’re in the epilogue and haven’t done this, the dialogue will be at least thirty minutes long…even longer if you’ve played an outlaw.

 

5. Punch Horse in the Testicles / Vagina for Funny Dialogue Options
Rockstar Games was very happy and proud of itself when they talked about how the testicles on a horse would shrink in the cold weather. What they didn’t tell people, however, is the hilarious dialogue options you get when you punch a horse in the testicles or the vagina! Here’s a video and transcript of it happening when out with oft hated Micha:

*Arthur Morgan punches his horse in the testicles*
Arthur Morgan: HAHAHA! Look at ’em go!
Micha: You know they’re good for more than punching, Morgan.
Arthur Morgan: What the hell are you on about now, Micha?
Micha: I’m just saying you can do more than, you know, punch them like that. There’s more you can do to a horse’s dangling bits.
Arthur Morgan: Micha…you’re too god damn strange for me.
*Arthur Morgan then kicks Micha’s horse in the vagina. Micha is bucked off and the horse begins to prance around making lots of noise*

 

Arthur Morgan: HAHAHAHAHA! I guess you’re right, Micha


6. Have Lunch with a Soiled Dove
Probably the most controversial of all mechanics in the newest Red Dead Redemption game is how you must keep Arthur’s weight up by eating and drinking. Turns out, it opens up a lot of options players didn’t know about before. Playing as a nice person as opposed to a rogue allows you to have lunch with several prostitutes, known as soiled doves at the time. As long as you helped to build the church in the second free range mission of the game (and attended at least two of the sermons), you will be able to hire one of these girls and…have lunch with them in order to talk about the wonders of Jesus. If your charisma stat is high enough when you do this, you will be able to save the soil of one of these once damned ladies. The “redemption” part of Red Dead Redemption 2 isn’t just about Arthur Morgan after all.

 

7. Use the Restrooms
Eat too much and you’ll be forced into one of the many standing outhouses.

8. Ride with a Gang
One of the biggest surprises in the game is the ability to ride with an gang of outlaws! That’s right! You no longer have to play the character in a linear fashion. Unlike the first game in the series, in which you played Jack Marston (who is in the game as a little kid, by the way), as you left your banking job for a life on the prairie to be a farmer, you can now choose to be a gang member instead. This does, however, require you to play the game like a rogue almost all the time. You’ll be doing everything from kidnapping to burning down farms, plus everything in between. While you may never get to be the leader of the gang, no matter how high your intelligence and charisma stat, the leader is a charismatic person. Just have some god damn faith in him.

 

9. Shoot Guns!!!
It’s not easy to learn how, but once you figure it out, you’ll have the time of your life shooting guns! Rockstar Games avoided the majority of the controversy by allowing your character to actually be able to not only shoot but buy and legally own firearms at all (not even a background check to keep everyone safe!!!) by making it hard to figure out. Not only can you buy guns, but also the bullets to use them! This is all thanks to the game taking place in a fantastical American setting. Once you locate the buildings which sell the guns, you can simply walk in, buy one, buy the bullets, and walk out of the building with it…in mere seconds. It was truly the Wild West!

 

10. Fly Like Superman
The strangest of all things people have figured out. Turns out…Arthur Morgan is a super hero! Why most players didn’t realize this is not completely surprising. There is a very quick mention of it during the tenth mission in Level 8, which comes in around 10 hours of gameplay without doing side missions:

Annabelle: Oh, Mister Morgan…I just wish you’d fly me out of here like you did in the old days.
Arthur Morgan: You and I both know that was a long time ago. This bird is caged…not that I don’t think about it every now and again, mind you.
Annabelle: Well, if you ever find those happy thoughts again, let me know. I remember sitting on top of that waterfall with you for hours.

Most everyone figured this was just poetic imagery between the two ill-fated love birds. Nope! Turns out, if you go to Donner Falls during the exploration phase, you get a prompt to “meditate” and a pretty cool cutscene. We won’t spoil it all here, though. Go see if for yourself. Fast travel was cut because you don’t need it when you can fly at high speeds!


Well, there you have it. Ten things you probably didn’t know you can do in Red Dead Redemption 2. Are there any we missed? Are there anymore you have discovered? Let’s us know in the comments!

Want to group up for the Last Wish Raid? Here’s the rules for LFG!

If you want to join the raid, these are the requirements:

  1. Raid 25+ clears (THIS RAID ONLY!!!!!! and I check)
  2. 610 Light – if you don’t know how to do this, then you don’t need to raid
  3. Crucible K/D of 2.87 (not KA/D!!!!!! and I check)
  4. 45+ flawless Trials (I check)
  5. Microphone with a feedback problem
  6. Scream at your girlfriend/wife who is upset about the baby is crying while the dogs are barking and a secondary TV is playing in the background so loud you can’t understand what’s playing, but sounds like it’s in our own living room
  7. Leave the group while screaming profanities after causing the first wipe
  8. “BRB. Food” after first encounter while you make your character run in circles to prevent an AFK kick and take 60+ minutes to come back since you left to go get something two towns over
  9. Explain an encounter strategy in almost unintelligible English while basically swallowing your mic to ensure it’s over modulated and then refuse to explain it again while insulting everyone else in perfect English then leave
  10. Take a bong rip every 2 minutes during encounters and then cough so loud no can one hear the call outs
  11. Talk to people on your stream with an open mic to the raid encounter confusing all of us as to what is going on and then make fun of us with your subscribers as we get upset at you
  12. Between encounters, take your wireless headset with you into the bathroom and give birth to a massive chocolate mud baby…please, please, please be sure to make lots of noise and do not wash your hands – if we hear running water besides the flush you will be kicked
  13. HAVE FUN!!!!!

By the way, I am fireteam leader and have never done a raid before on any game. I’ll need you to Sherpa me. I do NOT have a microphone. We will run it five to six times for gear. Thanks! NO NOOBS!

Originally posted by me on /r/destiny2

How People are Finding my Entries Part 2 (s)(t)

So, quite some time ago I wrote about how people were finding my entires. Some of them were…frightening to say the least. Again, I love people finding my writings. Really, I do. If I didn’t, I shouldn’t be writing. It’s just…for fuck’s sake, people. What is wrong with you?

Once again, here’s how people have been finding my site…lord have mercy…


kau injak, aku diam kau gauli, aku diam kau rampas, aku masih diam kau hancurkan sampai ulu hati, hanya ada geming tersisa when u destroy me, u kill yourself in the first place.
What the shit? I have no idea what the hell any of this is supposed to be. When I ran the search in Google, my writings didn’t even come up. It has to do with some scare tactic bullshit, worse than the Weather Channel, claiming video games are telling your children to kill themselves. They aren’t. I am, though.

how to be professional in mortal kombat
Nothing on my site is going to tell you how to actually do this. However, this makes sense because of my fake entry New Professional Mortal Kombat 9 Tournament Rules


it’s already valentine’s day and i dont know what to get myself yet

How about cyanide and a nice cold drink, you loser? Seriously, wtf? Now you’re supposed to get yourself something for Valentine’s Day? Please tell me this isn’t something actually happening!


strangle

No, really, that’s all they searched for and found me. I have no idea why…


sieg fuck

*blink blink* Uhm…okay, sure thing there, buddy. I went ten pages deep in the searches in Google and never came up with my site. I have no idea how deep I’m buried. I can only imagine this is some how in reference to my Psychology Is Junk Science article. That…or someone is REALLY into Nazi porn.


do guys like donkey punching?

Are they asking because they want to know if it’s something they should be used to, something to expect, or something they want to try? My mind is going a mile a minute trying to comprehend this one. I mean, the answer is YES to all of those, but I like to know the finer details such as, “Do you mind if it’s an all knuckles punch?”


how to fuck your employer

Usually just bringing it up in conversation works. You can always just start off slowly with a casual date and feel it out. If that doesn’t work, a brick to the back of the head works. If it’s a guy, the brick still works if you hit them hard enough to ensure an priapism.


redmist entj kickass

What? That illustrated novel and so-so movie? What?


red hair bitch backside

Just the backside? If so, then what does the red hair have to do with it? I know I’m on the internet and there are some really specific fetishes out there, but this one is oddly specific and not in a fun way. Just a…that’s boring kind of way.


sorry i only post about my daughter

…go on… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


ziggy grover gay fanfiction

Okay, so I wrote a few fake really bad fan fiction about Power Rangers, which I’m probably going to conclude with one more entry, but in no way was the Ziggy Grover character I had in the stories gay. Besides that, why the fuck? This person was looking for this unironically I guarantee it.


brittany blue preggo

Why?


xy.hot.4minat.videos

I’m not on the deep nor the dark web, you morons. Though, I seriously doubt whoever this was either heard about it and thought that’s how you type it in without using an onion router or…they’re just that far too stupid. I’m going with the latter, unfortunately.


how to tell your employer to fuck off and let me shit

Personally? I’d take them out to a nice lunch. You know, one with candles and Italian food. I’d stroke their hand, laugh at their jokes, and bring it up as part of a natural flow in the conversation. On the other hand, you could always just do it like you stated the search query.


fuckdoll faggot makeup

0_o


boss forcly fucking his employer

Again, you people have some really specific fetishes. I’m sure there’s plenty of clearnet porn out there with this. What it has to do with me? I don’t know exactly, though. Good lord…


hitler south park fags

This…this was something someone looked up in their spare time. I’m picturing this dumb ass sitting there expecting some great revelation only to find them saying things on the show and being so mad they masturbate to pictures of their own anus for hours.


love guru how to press a girl boobs when we meet

If I may? I’d start with “Hello”.


stop bullying, your giving a shit!

Is this like “taking the piss”, but far, far more stupid a phrase? That’s cultural appropriation, and that’s wrong. It’s not, but…whatever.


“wolfman” “douche nozzle”

Again, why is this a thing being looked for? I’m not even going to bother trying to find out where I fall in the search results. You can do it yourselves.


telepathic cat siggy creepypasta

How…why…I don’t even…


employer boss come at dinner to his employer and fucking to.is wifevidos

This can’t get any stranger…


soda show webcam????????????? no no no … not me :3 she sexy more than me :d

I can’t do this anymore…I’m fucking done…


Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go scrub my eyes and brain with Drain-O….fuck….

Dear Black People: Here’s a List of Things Everyone Wishes You’d Stop Doing

These are simple requests. Easy requests. But we’re not holding our breath.

Nigga, please!
There are a few things every race, nationality, ethnicity, sexual orientation…hell, EVERYONE…would like you to stop doing. They’re not complicated things. Just things that will benefit not everyone else around you, but your own race as well. By “benefit”, we all mean once you put these suggestions to use, it’ll make you tolerable person. Not a great person. Not a good person. Just a tolerable person. Being a tolerable person means people can stand to be around you for more than five seconds. It’s a win-meh situation. So just take a moment for the list below. Everyone will be glad you did.

1. Wash your hair. We’ve asked you this a million times. It doesn’t matter if you’re “growing out some sweet dreads/cornrows”. Either of those on an adult is proof positive you have absolutely no understanding between right and wrong at first glance.

2. Start understanding answers to questions. Stop going around in circles chasing your tail trying to confuse people into giving you something you don’t deserve.

3. Stop screaming in theatres. You’re there to watch what is going on during the movie and your flapping gums is not adding to the scenes. Shut the fuck up once in a while. We’d rather not listen to who you were recently fucking and how nasty he or she was while watching Star Wars.

4. Stop niggering up “white” foods. A tuna sandwich is just fine being a tuna sandwich. Collard greens are fucking disgusting. Sweet potatoes are like a desert and are even better with butter and cinnamon.

5. Stop claiming shit isn’t a trend when it obviously is. Like shaving your “rap name” into the back of your head or making cuts into your eyebrows to be different. That shit came and went. It’s not a culture so much as a moron trying to start something moronic.

6. Stop thinking only black people can make soul music. The only people who can’t create soul music are the Japanese and gingers because they don’t have souls.

7. Stop screaming “racism” every time someone who isn’t black does something you don’t like. Guess what? Someone might not like you just because you’re a piece of shit and it didn’t occur to them you’re focused on skin color. Stop being a racist piece of shit.

8. STOP MAKING OVER SEASONED FOOD! If your food was flavorful or good to begin with, you wouldn’t have to cover it with more seasoning than a Hindu village! Sometimes french fries taste good simply because they’re french fries!

9. Stop acting like Africa is the greatest place ever and how you’re so proud of it and we’ll all stop telling you to go back to it. If you’re from America, be proud to be an American. You don’t have to fucking claim to be African, especially if you’ve never been and six of your generations were born here.

10. Stop claiming everyone is a redneck. Not everyone is from the south. I’m originally from California. Sure it was southern California, so if anything I’m a wasp, not a redneck. I did my time in the south thanks to the military, and let me tell you, if you even suggest I belong down there in Missouri I’ll break your fucking face. Fuck Missouri.

11. Stop making up names to sound black. Up until the 1970’s those names didn’t exist and they don’t have a real root in African naming…and considering there are around 2000 languages in African, you’d be just as accurate naming yourself Jean Pierre instead of LaNyquil or even Martylenol.

12. Stop “deepest, darkest Africa” a neighborhood and then wonder why people don’t trust you and your demon spawn. You get defensive at everyone when crime goes up because of your extended or immediate family coming in and they’re mad about it. It’s the same situation as when Trayvon Martin went into Andrew Zimmerman’s neighborhood or the Germans went into Poland.

13. Mind your personal space. If you can pick our pocket, you’re too close, and you probably picked our pocket. Prepare to get shot. We carry guns because you steal guns. That and to protect ourselves from the democrats.

14. Stop saying you aren’t as good as everyone else and need special treatment. You are making yourselves victims, and denying that shows how stupid you are.

15. Stop thinking everything belongs to you. Stop stealing our shit. Stop with the drugs. Stop with raping. If you think you don’t, look at the crime statistics, especially in your own neighborhoods where a black man is highly likely to be killed by another black man.

16. Stop thinking the democrats are out to save you. Democrats started Jim Crow laws and fought to keep segregation for a long time. The Klu Klux Klan were founded as a Democrat organization. They keep saying you aren’t good enough and need “white man help”. You’re good enough on your own.

17. Please, for the love of god, use lotion and soap. We can smell you and it looks like you’re trying to salt everything with all the ash.

18. Stop acting like you should go first just because of your skin color and victim mentality. Yeah, we know you do it consciously.

19. Stop having fights at the dining table. The rest of us don’t want to have to kill someone in self defense because you can’t pay the fucking check or refuse to tip. But, since you do number 3, I guess it’s to be expected.

20. Stop throwing the fact your black in everyone’s face. We can see you’re black. Feel like be exclusive? Feel like acting like a retarded moron? We do hate you when you do this #niggernignignig

21. Stop resisting arrest while screaming about racism. Stop looting. Stop all the god damn riots every time a black man gets arrested. I’d say we don’t know where you find the time, but let’s face it, you don’t work.

22. Stop telling us how you can’t be racist. You are. More than most people. We don’t care if you don’t like white people or Chinese people, or even Jews. We get it. You don’t care about anyone who isn’t black. Move on. Grow up.

See? There’s nothing too tough or illogical about this list. This should be taught in elementary school, but according to your mentality and how you act, we’re sure you’d claim it’s too difficult for your negro brains to grasp, making it racist.

Sincerely,

Everyone on the planet.


This is a direct response to a moronic post highlighted by TheSafestSpace on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSafestSpace/status/781616441984479232

Domestic Violence – Cure Has Been Found!

This is great! Like two scoops or raisins!
The greatest news from specialists at the “Mayo Labs” has been released yesterday, and we’re glad to be one of the first people to bring it to you, thanks to use completely disregarding our NDA!

Since the beginning of time, or rather 1994 in America, we’ve been doing everything we can to end domestic violence by calling attention to it with special laws. We’ve originally believed the issue was deep routed psychological issues, or even a learned behavior from previous generations. All the research in the world didn’t seem to help. That is until now! What is this miracle cure which is guaranteed to stop any and all domestic violence? Here it is:

Shut the Fuck Up!

Yep. That’s it! Think about how simple an instruction this is. You’d think everything would be much more complicated, but the facts prove it really isn’t. Checking with current and former domestic violence victims we can see everything stems from not just keeping their mouth shut unless asked directly for a response…and even then it might be better to just shut up.

The Core Principle
At its core the principle is simple and yet complicated. As human beings, we’re conditioned to speak with others and even provide responses. Those of us who have been wronged are often found trying to find defense with our words. This faulted evolutionary trait must be fought and controlled if we are to continue to evolve as a species while also ending domestic violence.

Imagine this scenario:
Your husband/boyfriend/brother/guy friend comes home and he’s already in a bad mood. He has a history of knocking in your teeth for being a “disrespectful bitch” and he is expecting, not only a nice dinner, but a deep vacuum of the entire place. You managed to get a 100% perfect job on vacuuming the carpet, but the broccoli is slightly cold in the middle, meaning you didn’t cook it well enough.

Man – “What the fuck is this?!”
You – “Dinner…”
Man – “No! THIS IS SHIT! It’s FROZEN in the middle!”
You – “I did it the way…”

Suddenly he jumps across the table and punches your stupid face into the ground.

This was your fault. You didn’t keep your mouth shut! You shouldn’t have said anything.

Now let’s look at how you should have handled the same situation, but keeping your mouth shut:

Man – “What the fuck is this?!”
You – “…”
Man – “You fucking IGNORING ME?!”
You – “…”
Man – “YOU DISRESPECTFUL BITCH!”

Suddenly he jumps across the table, grabs you by the throat for a second and then stops sighing.

Man – “At least you did the fucking vacuuming! I’m going out for dinner. Eat your shit or starve!”

He then leaves, bangs a random bar slut, gets an STD, and then fucks your brains out later that night to assert his dominance. You are in a much better position this time!

Psychology of the Cure
The only psychology involved is your own. Keeping your mouth shut takes tremendous mental strength. By doing exercises such as no longer speaking to friends and family nor communicating with anyone at all, you can eventually learn to keep your mouth shut unless specifically asked to respond. Even when asked to respond, you should know exactly what is expected of you. This can take years, so getting out of the relationship just because you’re weak is ill advised.

Testimonials from the Participants
We’ve acquired some testimonials from participants of the original study for your reading pleasure. You’ll see the subject’s names and read their experience with it all, including how long it lasted before hand.


Name: Sarah McKennis
Nationality: Irish
Current Residence: Missouri
Results According to Subject:
My husband, Mitchell, was one of the hardest hitters I had ever been with. He would beat me until I would fall unconscious constantly. No matter what the conversation was about, it would end with me getting slugged in the face like it was there for visible punctuation. The exclamation marks were his favorite. His cock though…oh my god! It’s the biggest reason I didn’t leave him, and besides, I’m a strong woman and not a quitter.

When I heard of this study I told Mitchell. “GOOD!” he told me and busted my face open so deeply I ended up with six staples across my face from biting a hole in my own face. I didn’t even wait for my mistake to heal and went straight to the study.

How are things now? Well, I’ve learned to keep my mouth closed and only speak when I should be replying. As for why I’m in this hospital bed giving my evaluation…well…I forgot to check attitude at the door when he made a comment about feeling old. Rule number one is to shut the fuck up, and I didn’t. I told him it’s okay if he gets old and I still love him. My mistake! However, the study still stands and I give it a 100%


Name: Timmy Ashford
Nationality: American
Current Residence: New Mexico
Results According to Subject:
Stephen is my step-dad. Well, he’s my step-dad in the sense he’s always having sex with my mother, lives with us, eats all our food, drinks all day, refuses to marry my mom and give me a father in a proper family setting, all the while beating my ass raw. I used to be a bad kid, but now I know my place. I no longer make the same mistakes as so many of my friends do. He even lets me call him Stephen now and not “Master”.

What started me in the trial is when Stephen had been asking me to clean my room five or six times in a single day. Like I said, I was a bad kid in those days, and refused to do anything he said because I was angry at him for just being around. So, after the fifth or sixth time of him screaming for me to clean up my room, I yelled back, “FUCK YOU STEPHEN! You’re not even my real dad!” You can imagine the three hour beating with a belt, a hot curling iron, and his fists. He got so tired my mother even had to take over beating me when he broke his hands on my ass!

My mommy had enough of my attitude and couldn’t take the stress anymore, just knowing I would continue to make Stephen mad, so she looked through the papers on where she could take me. She stumbled upon the trial and enrolled me right away. I got time away from Stephen and learned to keep my mouth shut for my own good!

A+ program and I highly suggest all other bad kids, which is all kids, to enroll!


Name: Tiffany-Sage Haddler
Nationality: British
Current Residence: Idaho
Results According to Subject:
My mummy always wants me to wear bright colours and act as a lady, but I just didn’t like it all too much. Mummy does know what is best, but in my silly head I could just not see that as a fact and I acted up just like all these spoiled American brats. No longer do I, however!

I would talk back to my mummy and ask her what she knew, and the result would be immediate and severe slaps among my face and fanny. She would constantly ask me how I would ever expect to please a husband if I spoke back all the time. My daft reasoning was that I did not want to be a stay at home mummy like mummy, who earned money by bringing in strange men and making me watch so they would both pay more and finish faster. Oh, what a sod I was!

Thanks to this program, I now know a proper woman is seen and not heard. She does exactly that and more. The more is what my mummy teaches me. I now have the skills and education early enough to carry me throughout my adult life in order to become a proper lady of the house!

I will raise many cups of tea in the honour of this program!


Name: Julian Nielson
Nationality: Ameri-queer
Current Residence: Gay Bay
Results According to Subject:
Mmmm…my name is Julian, but call me Sally RoughRider! I love long walks on the beach, blonds, and butt sex! Tee hee!!!! I know this isn’t a dating service, you giggly gooses!

My life partner, Bruce, who I always call “OH damn! THAT MAN!!!!” in a loving way, used to break a foot off in my ass, and I don’t mean in a fun gay way. Oh no. He’d kick the shit out of me almost every time I opened my whore mouth. That was the problem, you see, since as a gay man I don’t know when to shut up. It’s just genetics, and you can’t fight genetics, but you can control your nasty habits like talking all the time.

The last straw was when Bruce came home drunk and stinking of both strange men and vagina. Trust me, you can tell the difference in that smell! Well, once again I opened my stupid whore mouth and he beat me to the point of needing medical treatment for damn near a month. While laying out in the hospital, he was reading me the obituaries to remind me I could end up in there, when I caught a glimpse of this trial and knew I needed help.

Now I only open my mouth to suck dick! Great improvement! Much love!

I ♥ (‿|‿)!


There you have it, everyone! Keep your fucking mouth shut if you don’t want to get your ass beat by your significant other. Doesn’t just work for normal people and women: It’s obviously great for gays and children, too!

Know your place!