If I see another person “dabbing” I’m breaking their testicles

Dabbing. It’s short for “I’m a fucking idiot”. I honestly don’t know how this whole thing got started and I’m not going to waste my time researching it. Why? Because I don’t give a damn how it started, but I’ll tell you how it is going to end: Me breaking their balls.

Not too long ago I finally managed to take a much needed vacation for almost a week. My wife and I spent four days and three nights at Disneyland. It was bad ass. However, I’m not here to talk about the trip in general. Why am I bringing it up? Have patience, little one, for a good story needs a good foundation and build up. Not everything can be handed to you snowflakes.

We had just enjoyed a nice trip through the tour in California Adventure with the sourdough when we decided to get a few pictures by the boardwalk themed section next to where you haul ass on California Screamin’. Blocking our way to taking the picture I wanted of my wife were urchins. Of course, by urchins I mean children. By children, I mean two 12 or 13 year old skeletons covered with skin who do nothing to aid in the progress of the species. The supposed mother of one of these bags of nothingness is encouraging their behavior of taking pointless pictures while blocking everyone’s paths up until one of them says he’s got “a great idea” for photo. What’s his great idea to hold us up with the greatest picture ever? It’s run over to the fake fishing net photo spot, kneel down, bounce up and do a dabbing pose. Yeah, because everyone can fucking see what you did by looking at a still photo, moron.

I wish I was kidding here. The woman took the picture THREE TIMES before they decided it would just be easier if he did the pose and held it while she took the picture. Just so you’re keeping count, two 12/13 year old boys and one woman in her 30’s is the brain power it took to figure this god damn shit out. I responded like any rational man: I grabbed her camera, toss him off the edge of the photo area and took his picture as he fell towards the track and was run over. I then headbutt the mother five times while simultaneously chopping the other one in the throat with the help of my wife who held him by the neck until he lost consciousness. After Security Guard Goofy informed us that was not acceptable and had us escorted out by Oswald Rabbit back into Disneyland, I realized I may have overreacted just a touch.

What I vow to do now is control myself and simply break the testicles of anyone stupid enough to be doing this. I’ve had critical success as of late with the technique as well. Anytime I’m in a club and I see someone doing this, it’s always some moron who thinks they are cool. Bam! One swift shot to the man eggs is all it takes to send a message I, and no one else, is going to put up with this bullshit.

Let’s face it, dabbing is the homosexual bastard with downs syndrome step-child no one actually loves of Tebowing. While Tebowing required a punch to the face, this more dramatic cure is required for something as stupid as dabbing. Putting your arms into a pose like you have cerebral palsy while simultaneously looking like you’re sniffing your own armpit is a sure fire way to signal you deserve what’s coming you way. BAM! Kick to the balls!

Remember, I could be anywhere. Do you really want to risk this? I didn’t think so. Even if I don’t, I’m sure I’ve encouraged someone, or maybe even an entire neighborhood, to just start dick kicking people they see dabbing. The cause is true. The cause is noble. The cause is everywhere. BAM! TESTICLE EXPLOSION!

This could be you. I will make it you. Don’t dab. The more you know!

FINALLY BANNED IN AN ENTIRE COUNTRY! (s)(t)

OH HAPPY DAYS! I got an e-mail from the WordPress admin staff!

SUBJECT: [WordPress #2810472]: Important information regarding your WordPress.com blog
Sal P. – WordPress.com
Mon 8/29, 3:32 PM

 

Hello,

A Russian authority — the Federal Service for Supervision in the Sphere of Telecom, Information Technologies and Mass Communications (ROSKOMNADZOR) — has demanded that we disable the following content on your WordPress.com site:

https://sunrie.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/suicide-getting-it-right-the-first-time/

Unfortunately, we must comply in order to keep WordPress.com accessible for everyone in Russia. We have disabled this content only for Internet visitors originating from Russia. Visitors from other countries are not affected.

You and your readers may be interested in the following document for suggestions on bypassing Internet restrictions:
http://en.support.wordpress.com/bypassing-internet-restrictions/

For your reference, we have included a copy of the complaint below. No reply is necessary, but please let us know if you have any questions.

-– BEGIN NOTICE –-
Направляется уведомление о внесении в «Единый реестр доменных имен, указателей страниц сайтов в сети «Интернет» и сетевых адресов, позволяющих идентифицировать сайты в сети «Интернет», содержащие информацию, распространение которой в Российской Федерации запрещено» следующего(их) указателя (указателей) страницы (страниц) сайта в сети «Интернет»:https://sunrie.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/suicide-getting-it-right-the-first-time/ .

В случае непринятия провайдером хостинга и (или) владельцем сайта мер по удалению запрещенной информации и (или) ограничению доступа к сайту в сети «Интернет», будет принято решение о включении в единый реестр сетевого адреса, позволяющего идентифицировать сайт в сети «Интернет», содержащий информацию, распространение которой в Российской Федерации запрещено, а доступ к нему будет ограничен.

Сведения о включении доменных имен, указателей страниц сайтов сети «Интернет» и сетевых адресов доступны круглосуточно в сети «Интернет» по адресу http://eais.rkn.gov.ru .

С уважением,
ФЕДЕРАЛЬНАЯ СЛУЖБА ПО НАДЗОРУ В СФЕРЕ СВЯЗИ, ИНФОРМАЦИОННЫХ ТЕХНОЛОГИЙ И МАССОВЫХ КОММУНИКАЦИЙ.

It is notice of making an entry into the “Unified register of domain names, Internet web-site page links and network addresses enabling to identify the Internet web-sites containing the information prohibited for public distribution in the Russian Federation” the Internet web-site page (s) link (s): https://sunrie.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/suicide-getting-it-right-the-first-time/ .

In case the hosting provider and (or) the Internet web-site owner fail to take these measures, the network address enabling to identify Internet web-sites containing the information prohibited for distribution in the Russian Federation will be decided to be entered into the Register and access will be limited.

The information about entering the domain names, Internet web-site page links and network addresses into the Register shall be available on a 24-hour basis at the following Internet address: http://eais.rkn.gov.ru/en/ .

Federal Service for Supervision in the Sphere of Telecom, Information Technologies and Mass Communications (ROSKOMNADZOR).
–- END NOTICE –-

Regards,

Sal P. | Community Guardian | WordPress.com

I’m so fucking happy I could cry! So…guess I’m back to writing whatever, whenever, instead of just trying to be shocking for a specific reason. YAY!!!

Finally leaving Colorado! (s)(t)

Well, it finally happened: I’m getting out of “New California”!  After months of trying, I finally was able to pick up a great job in Nevada so that’s obviously where I’ll be moving to.

Honestly, I can’t wait. While the weather has been really nice here in Colorado, Nevada is so much more appealing for someone like me. See, unlike here, where there’s no housing developments and open land in Nevada, you can actually use it! Yeah, it’s fucking crazy, I know, but the open land in Nevada is there for people to enjoy. Here in Colorado open land means stay the fuck out.

There’s also more access to fishing and hunting for me out there Again, strange, I know. Thanks to less people, and less morons, the outdoors is still clean and open to the public.

Let’s not forget it’s still an open carry state!

See you all from Nevada soon. I will still update, though.

I don’t think I like Game of Thrones anymore…(s)

I don’t know if I want to keep watching Game of Thrones…

I mean…it’s one thing to throw convention to the wind and have the balls to kill off characters, but when you KEEP DOING IT…well, then it’s stupid.

At the end of season 5 (which would be the 3rd book) all except for like…one character is left from the start of the story, and not even a likable one. It’s a character you’d consider a major “bad guy” in the political intrigue part of it all, and she’s probably going to get killed here soon, anyway, too. Well, okay, “Dany” is still around and she’s not unlikable and Tyrion is awesome.

So, at this point, George R. R. Martin has been getting people to invest in characters through three books, which are literally six inches thick with a size of being 5″x7″(!!!!) and saying, “Yeah, we’re starting over with new characters who have been active in what’s going on, but you just didn’t know about them.” and I’m going, “Why should I give a fuck?”

Each episode is about 45min long without the flashback and credits, and each season is 10 episods long. There are 5 seasons. So, now, at this point, I’ve gone 37.5hrs with the charaters and it’s like, “Fuck you.”

So, more than likely, I won’t be watching season 6. Except for the constant floppy dick images and tit shots, I don’t know why this has such a huge fan base still.

—-
***typed with two chihuahua puppies in my lap

Working on a Book (s)

Gloria Soli Sunrie

Yes, you’re reading that right, I’m working on a book. The book will be based on entries I have written here. Sure I’m also working on my fantasy-fiction stories as well, but I’ve received quite a bit of desire from people to release a book in the style of my weblogs. So, why not?

I’m currently working on filling, editing, and formatting it. Luckily I know previously published authors who are helping me out in order to get things right. I’ll also be looking for a publisher here soon. Hopefully I won’t have to self publish, but even if I do, I’m sure I can get some exposure for the book.

Keep checking back here for updates on the book and also my writings as a whole!

5 anti-freedom of speech websites (s)

No Freedom of Speech Here!
Aside from my right to keep and bear arms here in America in order to protect myself from the insane idiots and liberals, what I love the most is my right to freedom of speech. Not every country has that right…hell, most don’t have any rights what so ever. Canada has bee known to shut down radio shows, ban books, and arrest people for making references alone to things their government doesn’t agree with. In England, you have almost no civil rights outside of not being allowed to be made a slave, and there are so many laws “protecting” special interest groups, simply saying you don’t like them is enough to get you put away with hefty fines.

It's for everyoneSo…when I come across websites set up for discussion or “social ‘media'” who do everything in their power to force their agenda down your throat by censoring anything they don’t agree with, I get really pissed off. When a website is ruled as protected by America’s First Amendment in the Bill of Rights and then bans anyone not on their agenda board, I get more than really pissed off…I get down right extremely pissed off.  I’m not talking about directly threatening violence against any individual and/or organization in specific.  No, I’m talking about simply stating a differing opinion than what the owners and/or employees accept.  You know…kind of like how Wikipedia isn’t a source for facts, but things accepted as facts.

I know most of you out there have probably stopped reading because you thought this was going to be nothing more than a list. Well, fuck them, and congratulations to those still reading as you’re obviously more intellectual than those turds. Give yourself a hand-job if you’d like or simply revel in that fact. Either way, you’re awesome in this regard. Now, without further ado, the list is below! These are really in no particular order.


5. Twitter
Twitter is one of the lighter anti-free speech websites. Most of the time Twitter lets things ride unless it’s a credible threat against a person or organization, which is good. However, Twitter has round about, passive-aggressive bitch bullshit ways of punishing you for exercising free speech on their site. How? Lucky for you, I’m about to explain.

Twitter likes to have people pay them to promote their tweets. Twitter is making a killing doing this. Have you mentioned Pepsi in a tweet or listed yourself at Jack-in-the-Box? Well, you’ll get a few paid-for-by-the-company tweets advertising one of their products. The problem comes when you start deleting these tweets or post, “Stop with these paid tweets on my feed!” Twitter will start to ad bomb you until your entire feed is almost nothing more than paid tweets! Things I have never mentioned have been showing up in my own twitter feed, such as ads for bubble bathes, children’s shampoos, and even travel agencies. There are so many, I am deleting ten to fifteen of these things a day.

If you aren’t a celebrity, then expect things you say to get deleted as well. Have feelings like Alec Baldwin and call someone a fairy while threatening them? You will have your account blocked, the tweet deleted, and receive a warning. Are you upset at the government? Well, then expect to receive notifications and warnings in regards to your post for speaking out against it. Again, I’m not talking about an instance, for example only, you threaten to kill the president and then talk about how you have the means. I’m talking about simply stating the president is an idiot or something similar. Depending on your past tweets and your political alignments, you may start to find your tweets limited in distribution or even deleted. Nothing Twitter does compares to Facebook, but more on them later.

Fuck you, Twitter, you shit bags.
 
 
Deal with it4. Xanga
For those of you not in the know, Xanga is a blogging site which used to have one hell of a community. That is, until they went “2.0” and started charging people just to access their site and comment. Now it’s an elitist shit house.

Now, as far as a place to blog goes, you would think unless you were threatening to kill someone or blow up a building, it’s all free game. Not so. There were instances of the site shutting down a blog page because the content didn’t align with a specific view, or the staff felt it held no merit and was only “hate speech” or was “obscene”. Write up an entry about Islam? Better make sure you have actual references from the Qur’an, but it wasn’t a requirement for anti-Christianity entries. Probably because Christians don’t blow up buildings and day-care centers in retaliation. Writing something for the sole purpose of being funny? Ho-boy…be ready to defend it or put a disclaimer up.

The best is when an entry was written as a hoax and went viral over there. People would syndicate it all over the place, and when the fact was revealed the entry was a hoax and never meant to be taken seriously, the account of the original author would get suspended. However, write up about your sexual conquests and no one would complain. Hell, if you may even get listed on the front page for talking about what a whore you were or how you threw up all your food. I can’t even tell you how many times I saw an entry with nothing more than pictures of someone’s fridge after groceries were put in it blasted all over the front page… Yeah…community…
 
 
3. The Hylia Forum
If you’re not familiar with it, don’t worry about it. The place is a forum for The Legend of Zelda fans to talk…and mostly bitch and try to get each other banned. Honestly, this place is what happens when little kids, and adults who think they are little kids, run a forum to discuss the intricacies of a relationship in a video game and try to talk about big boy topics like politics.

Many times entire topics were locked down because some children threw a hissy fit over something posted they didn’t like or their teachers were trying to teach them otherwise. Everything from the moderators simply making a new topic to make fun of the user for posting up something they didn’t know was a fact, to full on death threats were common.

At one point some kid posted up a rant about how Muslims were the exact same as Jews and Christians. When their light-on-fact post was decimated, by me no less (Islam Peace? Same as Christians and Jews? [will open in new window]), they began to fly off the handle. Having made a hard counter-point, they began the insults. When I showed them a copy of what the Islam religion details (U.S. Revenge: Tim “ALcard” Johnson”(NFSW) [will open in new window]), I began to receive death threats. It got so bad people were banned by a range of IP addresses. The admin and moderators had to come up with NEW RULES for the forum as well.

Posting up evidence against humans being the sole cause of global warming gets you suspended for two weeks and the thread locked. Writing pro-second amendment articles will get you suspended and the thread locked. Putting a bald eagle as your avatar gets your avatar deleted with a warning to not offend people. What people? People who aren’t Americans? So what? People have leprechauns in their avatars and no one is getting mad you’re showing something Irish.
 
 
The truth2. GameFAQs
First of all, it’s pronounced Game F A Q’s, not Game Faks, you fucking idiots.

Much like The Hylia Forum, but much, much worse in terms of censorship and anti-free speech. Where The Hylia Forum has an age triggered censor, GameFAQs not only requires you to be at least 13 years of age for some arbitrary reason, if you so much as suggest you’re swearing you’re going to get punished. Think the game sucks and can’t find how anyone enjoys it? You’re going to get punished…unless, of course, the board moderator(s) agree with you, then you can say whatever you want. Make a statement which can be very, very, very loosely considered a slur? Then you’re going to get punished…unless it’s against Christianity, of course.

I’ve made several statements on GameFAQs not even intending to directly insult a person or group and I have been moderated for “Hate Speech”. Yes, apparently it’s hate speech to even claim you and friends wore towels on your head as kids to simulate turbans or something similar when playing. It’s apparently hate speech to make a statement such as, “…it’s more like a special needs child trying to seamlessly integrate into society.” It’s also apparently hate speech to claim you support free speech. Yes…claiming to support free speech gets your post moderated.

What can you expect from a community such as GameFAQs, though? Try playing with most of them and you’ll find hackers all over the place, especially their Battlefield players.
 
 
1. Facebook
By far the absolute worst offender and hater of the First Amendment. Unless you follow their agenda, of course. Hope you like having your information sold to the government in addition to it all!

Say something they don’t like? Suspended. Link to something they don’t like? Suspended. Promote a conservative agenda? Suspended. Start a first amendment club? Unless you’re only recruiting liberals and promoting their views: Suspended. Align yourself with a certain political candidate who has specific views? Suspended. “Like” Chik-fil-a? Suspended. Some cunt in Canada doesn’t understand a game or Internet lingo? You’ll get arrested. Post up your own self made rap lyrics? You’ll get arrested. Claim the president and members of congress are acting niggardly? Suspended.

During the entire Chick-fil-a dip-shits-a-thon-thinking-the-business-stood-for-what-an-individual-believes fiasco, Facebook blocked millions of users for hate speech. I was blocked for 48 hours after posting a picture of a local Chick-fil-a with the comment, “I am so glad to see so many people understanding an INDIVIDUAL’S feeling on a subject doesn’t reflect what a BUSINESS stands for.” Yep, that was it. My grandmother was blocked for 48 hours for simply saying she was glad to see people standing up for Constitutional rights in America, and that is why they moved here from England. My mother, my brother, almost all of my family, and a total of approximately 16 million other users, were blocked for “hate speech”. I have removed myself from Facebook as I will put up with their fascism.

Facebook is also notorious for blocking and deleting accounts which do no reflect their political ideals. Todd Starnes was “accidently blocked” by Facebook in light of his opinions on the Second Amendment and Chick-fil-a. Bloggers who post conservative thoughts and opinions get blocked as well. All links to Kirk Cameron’s (a very nice Christian man who refuses to back down to pressure) new movie “Unstoppable” has been banned from Facebook and Youtube as well. Facebook will even threaten to shut down your conservative fan pages. Even prolific internet writer and YouTube personality, Maddox, was blocked on Facebook for some time, spurring an outpouring of rage against Facebook. how did Facebook respond? A since taken down photo of Zuckerberg with the caption, “Fuck you, Maddox!” . However, pages such as Kill George Zimmerman are allowed to continue.

Facebook has been ruled by the Supreme Court of the United states things such as “likes” are protected speech, and so is complaining about working conditions and/or complaining about co-workers/bosses. Yet Facebook decides what they feel is free speech and what isn’t. Basically, it is anything they don’t agree with when you post becomes unprotected. This is just the way liberals work.

Well, at least there’s more than one lawsuit against Facebook for this as well. Do yourself a favor and just leave Facebook. Hit them in the pocket and let them know you aren’t going to support their fascist ways. Chances are, if you post a link to this article, you’re going to get suspended for a while…get enough people to do it, and they just may get the message we won’t take it anymore.

Did you hear about the newest Obama scandal?

Bob: “Did you hear about the Obama administration scandal?”

Jim: “You mean the Mexican gun running?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “You mean SEAL Team 6 Extortion 17?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “You mean the State Dept. lying about Benghazi?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “You mean the voter fraud?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “You mean the military not getting their votes counted?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “You mean the president demoralizing and breaking down the military?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “You mean the Boston Bombing?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “You mean the president wanting to kill Americans with drones in our own country without the benefit of the law?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “You mean the president arming the Muslim Brotherhood?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “The IRS targeting conservatives?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “The DOJ spying on the press?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “Sebelius shaking down health insurance executives?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “The NSA monitoring our phone calls, e-mails and everything else?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “The president’s ordering the release of nearly 2,000 illegal immigrants from jails and prisons and falsely blaming the sequester?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “The president’s threat to impose gun control by Executive Order in order to bypass Congress?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “The president’s repeated violation of the law requiring him to submit a budget no later than the first Monday in February?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “The president’s unconstitutional recess appointments in an attempt to circumvent the Senate’s advise-and-consent role?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “The State Department interfering with an Inspector General investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “HHS employees being given insider information on Medicare Advantage?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “Clinton, the IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?”

Bob: “No, the other one.”

 

Jim: “I give up! … Oh wait, I think I got it! You mean that 65 million uninformed voters stuck us again with the most corrupt administration in American history?”

 

Bob: “THAT’S THE ONE!”