Mortal Kombat 11 Review by Sunrie (s)(t)

Mortal Kombat, Bitches!!! This logo is awesome!
Nerd boners are raging hard right now with the release of Mortal Kombat 11. It’s been almost a solid four years since Mortal Kombat X was released and people have been begging for the next installment for years now. Was it worth the wait? You can either skip to the bottom like a loser, or you can read the entire review to form a more rounded opinion. Choice is yours.


Raiden looking better than ever!Plot

MKX left us with a very emo Raiden and Cassie Cage as the Earth’s victor. *sigh* Say what you will, that’s what happened in the last game. Now it’s several years later and Raiden is waging war on absolutely every realm which he finds to possibly, maybe, at some point, could be a threat to Earthrealm. With Liu Kang and Kitana ruling Netherrealm, Raiden feels he must attack them as soon as possible.

Enter Kronika, the game’s main antagonist. This new character is above the Elder Gods and she’s extremely powerful. Kind of…sort of…well, if she gets enough power to use her power, she’s extremely powerful. She controls time and weaves the destinies of all people in all the realms, but might also only be Earthrealm, unless you’ve visited Earthrealm… The game never really clears that up.

Look, to sum everything up, Kronika is beyond angry about Raiden shifting everything in total favor of Earthrealm and has decided to rebalance the universe by reversing time to a point in which Raiden could no longer exist. Good guys turn to bad guys, bad guys turn to good guys, and everything else is pretty gray.

Honestly, I’m doing a bad job representing the plot here. It works great in the game and is presented wonderfully.


I would still put my dick in her mouthStory

Ah, the story! MK 9 had an amazing story. MK X had a pretty “meh” story. Injustice 2 had a terrible story. MK 11? It has an amazing story! I don’t know if they reassigned the writing team to the original ones or they hired people back, or even fired the old ones and hired new ones, but damn the new story is interesting. It’s put together in a solid way, the fights make sense, the character interactions are fun, and it doesn’t feel like it’s dragging on nor needless.

I won’t provide spoilers, but let’s just say it had some interesting surprises and mentions. Character motivations don’t feel shoehorned in just to make them appear at times for a fight, which is the biggest thing for me. Unlike in MK X, I feel like this was handled with care and actually thought out again. With the exception of one character, anyone you fight is in the roster. Sure Ed Boon said no NPC fights…well that was a fucking lie…but with that one exception, everyone in the story is in the roster.

Kronika herself is an interesting character and her guiding hand is what lead to the events of all Mortal Kombat games across all timelines. This includes ones we weren’t familiar with, but get to see glimpses of in The Krypt and mentions by other characters.


Mmhmm...mhmm..mmmhmm...Johnny looking badassGraphics

Before I get into controls, audio, and things like that, let’s talk graphics. You see that Johnny Cage over there to the left? See how badass that looks? Well, the entire game is like that. The facial scanning technology is even better than in Injustice 2 and moves even more realistically.

Arenas are multilayered with all kinds of things to look at while never actually distracting from the fight you’re focusing on. In one arena, Shinnok’s severed head sits wedged in a wall and mounted like a trophy. In another arena, you’ll see both the present and the past fighting for dominance as you spray blood across the battle field. Is an NPC wandering a little too close to the fighting action? Grab them and throw them at your opponent!!! It feels so good taking a tarkatan warrior by the belt and bashing your enemy in the face with it.

Special moves glow and explode in pure eye candy. When characters get hit, they react much more realistically than even before, and crushing blows (moves which do enhanced damage based on specific triggers) act as a quasi-x-ray move which can happen either automatically, or when you opt for the “Hold A Button” option.

Blood is…very satisfying. Blood and other liquids (see: Kano introductions in the game) will seek its own level and cover not only the ground, but the entire arena and even coat your fighter’s outfits. While the blood may not pour like a faucet, what does flow out of fighters is more than satisfying. You won’t see the characters taking battle damage like in the past, but thanks to the improved blood physics, you won’t miss it.


Sonya taking it to the face in graphic detailGameplay/Controls

How does the game play? Faster than the beta and slower than MK X. I like it! I really, really like it. I don’t feel like I’m being rushed down constantly by the AI or other players. It’s much more methodical this time around.

Inputting combos is still a little “dial-a-hit”, but the timing is much tighter this time around. You have to be pretty precise, and that will either make you a better player, or will make you frustrated in the online battles. Personally, I like it being a little less forgiving, because it means button mashing is even less likely to get you anywhere. Is it noob friendly? Somewhat, I guess.

Honestly, the controls aren’t super crispy, but they feel satisfying. My fingers have gotten a work out, let’s put it that way. Doing the Tutorial section will help you out in a lot of ways. I highly suggest at least playing the Frame Data Tutorial. Granted, it means absolutely dick shit against the computer, since the AI breaks all the rules whenever it feels like (Dear Developers: Stop programming One Button Specials and Button Reading into your fighting games and learn how to program actual AI, you lazy assholes. Sincerely, Everyone), but it did make the entire concept understandable for me, so anyone can learn it.


Liu Kang's Fatalities have gotten goryAudio

Music is right on. It’s just catchy enough that you won’t be distracted by it, but you’ll definitely have your favorites. Thanks to the Krypt, which I will discuss mournfully later, you can unlock the tunes to listen to at any time. There’s some wild west influence in some of this music, and that’s not a bad thing.

Groans, grunts, screams, yelps, and laughs are fantastic. Beating your opponent mercilessly has never sounded this good. Ever. Period. I don’t care what other game you’re thinking of, this beats it.* Punching your enemy to bits like Liu Kang there will give you an instant boner no matter if you’re a boy or a girl. It’s that good.

Voice acting is good as well. I wouldn’t say it’s great, but it’s good. I know people complain about Rhonda Rousey’s acting as Sonya, but let me get something straight with everyone: No one else in the cast is Shakespeare level and no one is going to win an award for their work here. It all feels like it’s done on purpose to give it that old Kung Fu Theater vibe, and it’s fun.

*God of War (2018) is the one exception


Oh...Johnny and Sonya are back together, by the wayFeatures

It wouldn’t be a modern Mortal Kombat game without some additional features thrown in. Apart from Story, you have The Krypt, Towers of Time, Klassic Towers, Kollections, and Kustomize.

Story mode is your basic bread and butter mode to get you to understand what is going on and why. You get to play a variety of the characters, sometimes as a team, and other times alone. You do not get to play as the villians at all, which kind of sucks. You have the ability to go back and make other choices, when given to you, so you won’t miss out on anything. Nothing about the story changes, however, and it’s just there to give you another thing to experience. A lot of your costumes and accents are earned through this mode, so don’t skip it.

Towers of Time is much like the gimmick in Injustice 2 where you have a cretain amount of time to beat challenges to unlock gear and get konsumables. First off: FUCK KONSUMBABLES. Most of the towers can only be beaten by using these because the AI is completely jacked up. Netherrealm Studios has stated this is a mistake (I don’t believe them) and they are adjusting the difficulty. Whey do I think this is not a mistake? Because it makes you so infuriated you’ll want to buy “konsumable” items in packs through the online store. They just got so much backlash from this they are forced to change it. At least they acknowledged it. This goes for The Krypt, too, which I will address last, due to how angry I am over it.

Klassic Towers is exactly like the normal towers in MK X. You choose five through twelve fights to get your character’s endings, fight through an endurance tower where your health is carried over between each fight, and you have the unlimited battles tower to see just how far you can get against an increasingly cheating computer. Oh, did I forget to mention you can use konsumables in this selection of towers as well completely breaking everything? Yeah…fuck “konsumables”.

Kollections is just where you can view the items you’ve unlocked such as concept art and music. That’s all.

Kustomize is where you go to change out your costumes and adjust your skills and augments. It’s pretty cool, but extremely limited. You can’t adjust the colors yourself, so you’re forced to just pick the outfit and coloring you like the best with the items you’ve selected to accent your character. However, there is a lot to choose from, and you’ll pretty much be forced to either get extremely lucky to get the one you want, or you’ll just have to fork over the cash (up to $10 USA) for it. Why? Because of the fucked over Krypt.

Their faces say it allThe Krypt is a joke. There are more items than there are treasure chests, so you’ll have to spend even more of your first type of currency to reset the chests in order to have a slight chance to get what you want. It’s 2,000 gold pieces PER CHEST to reset, and with chests costing up to 25,000 gold to open, you’ll need a lot of gold. Then there’s the “Soul Tokens”, which you get at a very slow rate compared to gold. One area requires 2,00 souls in order to unlock it, and every other chest requires 100 souls. Guess how many souls you get by playing? Not enough.

Then there’s the Hearts…Except for “Special Chests”, which require 100 hearts, every other chest which takes hearts (these have Shao Kahn’s bust on them) requires 250 hearts. Problem with this? You get ONE HEART PER FATILITY and TWO HEARTS PER BRUTALITY. So, that means you have to beat, at minimum, 125 opponents and end the rounds with a Brutality, or defeat 250 characters with a Fatality just to open ONE CHEST, which contains an RNG character skin. Oh, and no, couch co-op does NOT give you hearts, so don’t try to cheat it that way.

That’s not the end of it, either…to use one of the items which is required to find certain chests and passageways, it costs you Soul Tokens to use. Every second it drains 2 Soul Tokens. So…pony up and pay, bitches. Again, Netherrealm Studios has acknowledged the backlash, so they are “adjusting the economy”. No one knows what this means as of now.


This is the real Mortal Kombat! Kontroversy!Kontroversy

I didn’t have to spell it with a “K”, I just wanted to.

Many, many, many man babies are crying over the fact the characters look more realistic. In any other videogame this would be a great thing, but not here in Mortal Kombat, I guess. They’re also complaining that the female fighters don’t have their tits, ass, and pussy hanging out of their costumes, but feel that the male characters are overly sexualized. These people are absolutely dumb shits. That is a fact, not an opinion. The characters have never looked better and the costume designs have never been more impressive.

The other thing is Ed Boon claimed there would be no loot boxes, but the game introduces three currencies, one of which is literally called a “premium currency”, much like those free to play mobile games. The entire economy of the game is based around microtransactions, and The Krypt is one big loot box filled with RNG bullshit no one wanted or asked for. You cannot, and I repeat cannot, go onto the internet and look up where to find what you want, since it will be different for everyone. Oh, but don’t worry, you can pay $5.00 (USA) for the outfit you want and up to $20.00 for a pack of them. Know what? Fuck you guys at Netherrealm Studios for doing this. I will not praise you fixing this, as it is a problem you created in the first place. Just get it fixed.

Let me not forget to mention how you 100% need to be online to keep any of the items you unlock. In order to “protect the online store”, the game has to access the servers in order to validate you actually have the right to have it. I’ve had the servers go down on me a few times, making me lose progress, and my internet took a dump on me another time, which made me lose progress as well. It’s infuriating and anti-consumer.


They're eager for the final scoreFINAL SCORE: 8/10 Nerd Boners

Even with The Krypt, Towers of Time, and the economy of the game completely fucked, it’s a solid 8 out of 10 nerd boners from me. Once the issues have been fixed, if they ever are correctly fixed, then I’ll give it a 10/10.

Should you rent or buy? If you love Mortal Kombat, then get it now. RIGHT NOW. If you like fighting games, then wait a year until the “full version” comes out, with all the fixes, adjustments, and characters available to you right away. I got the Kollector’s Edition and feel very satisfied with my purchase.

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How People are Finding my Entries Part 2 (s)(t)

So, quite some time ago I wrote about how people were finding my entires. Some of them were…frightening to say the least. Again, I love people finding my writings. Really, I do. If I didn’t, I shouldn’t be writing. It’s just…for fuck’s sake, people. What is wrong with you?

Once again, here’s how people have been finding my site…lord have mercy…


kau injak, aku diam kau gauli, aku diam kau rampas, aku masih diam kau hancurkan sampai ulu hati, hanya ada geming tersisa when u destroy me, u kill yourself in the first place.
What the shit? I have no idea what the hell any of this is supposed to be. When I ran the search in Google, my writings didn’t even come up. It has to do with some scare tactic bullshit, worse than the Weather Channel, claiming video games are telling your children to kill themselves. They aren’t. I am, though.

how to be professional in mortal kombat
Nothing on my site is going to tell you how to actually do this. However, this makes sense because of my fake entry New Professional Mortal Kombat 9 Tournament Rules


it’s already valentine’s day and i dont know what to get myself yet

How about cyanide and a nice cold drink, you loser? Seriously, wtf? Now you’re supposed to get yourself something for Valentine’s Day? Please tell me this isn’t something actually happening!


strangle

No, really, that’s all they searched for and found me. I have no idea why…


sieg fuck

*blink blink* Uhm…okay, sure thing there, buddy. I went ten pages deep in the searches in Google and never came up with my site. I have no idea how deep I’m buried. I can only imagine this is some how in reference to my Psychology Is Junk Science article. That…or someone is REALLY into Nazi porn.


do guys like donkey punching?

Are they asking because they want to know if it’s something they should be used to, something to expect, or something they want to try? My mind is going a mile a minute trying to comprehend this one. I mean, the answer is YES to all of those, but I like to know the finer details such as, “Do you mind if it’s an all knuckles punch?”


how to fuck your employer

Usually just bringing it up in conversation works. You can always just start off slowly with a casual date and feel it out. If that doesn’t work, a brick to the back of the head works. If it’s a guy, the brick still works if you hit them hard enough to ensure an priapism.


redmist entj kickass

What? That illustrated novel and so-so movie? What?


red hair bitch backside

Just the backside? If so, then what does the red hair have to do with it? I know I’m on the internet and there are some really specific fetishes out there, but this one is oddly specific and not in a fun way. Just a…that’s boring kind of way.


sorry i only post about my daughter

…go on… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


ziggy grover gay fanfiction

Okay, so I wrote a few fake really bad fan fiction about Power Rangers, which I’m probably going to conclude with one more entry, but in no way was the Ziggy Grover character I had in the stories gay. Besides that, why the fuck? This person was looking for this unironically I guarantee it.


brittany blue preggo

Why?


xy.hot.4minat.videos

I’m not on the deep nor the dark web, you morons. Though, I seriously doubt whoever this was either heard about it and thought that’s how you type it in without using an onion router or…they’re just that far too stupid. I’m going with the latter, unfortunately.


how to tell your employer to fuck off and let me shit

Personally? I’d take them out to a nice lunch. You know, one with candles and Italian food. I’d stroke their hand, laugh at their jokes, and bring it up as part of a natural flow in the conversation. On the other hand, you could always just do it like you stated the search query.


fuckdoll faggot makeup

0_o


boss forcly fucking his employer

Again, you people have some really specific fetishes. I’m sure there’s plenty of clearnet porn out there with this. What it has to do with me? I don’t know exactly, though. Good lord…


hitler south park fags

This…this was something someone looked up in their spare time. I’m picturing this dumb ass sitting there expecting some great revelation only to find them saying things on the show and being so mad they masturbate to pictures of their own anus for hours.


love guru how to press a girl boobs when we meet

If I may? I’d start with “Hello”.


stop bullying, your giving a shit!

Is this like “taking the piss”, but far, far more stupid a phrase? That’s cultural appropriation, and that’s wrong. It’s not, but…whatever.


“wolfman” “douche nozzle”

Again, why is this a thing being looked for? I’m not even going to bother trying to find out where I fall in the search results. You can do it yourselves.


telepathic cat siggy creepypasta

How…why…I don’t even…


employer boss come at dinner to his employer and fucking to.is wifevidos

This can’t get any stranger…


soda show webcam????????????? no no no … not me :3 she sexy more than me :d

I can’t do this anymore…I’m fucking done…


Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go scrub my eyes and brain with Drain-O….fuck….

Foodie Review – TGI Friday’s Ghost Pepper Wings (s) (t)

Before I really get into this review, let me introduce a new title modifier, the “(t)”! After talking to someone in person who reads my blog, I was told it was extremely difficult to tell when something on here is true. I can understand that. I’m a massively sarcastic asshole, so it can be difficult to tell when something is both true and serious. So, the “(t)” modifier tells you it’s true. The “(s)” still means it’s serious, which I figured covered true as well, but I guess it doesn’t have to include it.

Yes, this entry is both serious and true. I’m not writing satire. How I feel about these wings is true.

A quick history:
Growing up in Southern California allowed me to exposed to a lot of good cuisine. I was also able to sample a lot of different spices. I’m not shitting you when I say I’ve eaten some moronically hot stuff. When I would go into the garment district of L.A, my family and I would buy chorizo breakfast burritos so hot they would burn your eyes just walking up to the roach coach. Sure the Mexicans would laugh at us as we’d sweat and snot, but damn they were good! I eat both raw and cooked jalapenos like candy. I once had a teaspoon of hot sauce put directly into my mouth which was so hot you had to sign a waiver to buy it and it was required to be in glass to keep it from eating through the plastic. Yes, really. It literally ate a hole through the paper plate. It hurt and I will probably never eat it again. I regularly eat habanero hot wings, though I don’t shovel them into my mouth. Several of my friends can testify to watching me eating wasabi straight off of chop sticks with no problem. One friend can even testify to seeing me do that with the REAL wasabi you get in Japan which costs 100$ a pound.

I don’t seek out and devour hot stuff, but I like to be tested. I was hoping to be tested this day. I was not. My list goes from “no heat” (for example Del Taco’s Inferno sauce) to “fucking hot” (like a habanero). Before anyone says it, I’m not claiming to be a chili head nor someone who has a tough mouth.

In the same vain, it’s interesting to note CS gas doesn’t affect me, but pepper spray does. If it gets in my eyes anyway.


TGI Friday’s has brought back the changeable all you can eat appetizer awesomeness. It’s fucking amazing. Those pot stickers, baby…those pot stickers. Eat more than two plates and its paid for itself. The whole thing is one of the best deals they’ve ever done.

I was excited to see they added new items, even if most of them I’m not interested in. It’s good stuff, don’t get me wrong, as the bites I took from my wife’s plate were delicious, just not something I’d get for myself. While trying to decided what we’d order next for ourselves, I picked up the table topper and noticed the flavors of wings listed. My eyes lit up, my soul began to sing, and I pointed out they had ghost pepper wings!

My wife also got excited. Not because she was going to have any since anything hotter than a few splashes of red pepper makes her cry, but because she knew I could eat pretty hot food and wanted to see me do it. Yes, we’re strange, and that’s one of the reasons the marriage works. Sorry fan-girls. Please don’t commit suicide over this.

When the waitress asked what we wanted to put in for the next round of appetizers, I excitedly told her I wanted those ghost pepper wings. Now, in my mind I was expecting something mouth hurting. You know, somewhere between the Blazin flavor at BWW and a habanero sauce. Because, well, ghost peppers are very much hotter than a habenero and I consider those to be fucking hot at 100,000 to 350,000 Scoville.

When the ghost pepper wings arrived on the table, the smell stung my nose and my eyes a little. On top of these blood red wings covered in sauce were some jalapenos. As a joke I told my wife they were there to seem like they weren’t hot and were palette cleansers. Picking one up on a fork, I was excited. Taking a deep wiff my nose cleared and my eyes actually burned a very little bit.

Smiling, I took a bite and…meh. Now, don’t get me wrong, the flavor of these things is AMAZING. They are DELICIOUS. They are not, however, hot. I’d put them around my medium. I was very disappointed with the heat level.

Honestly, these need to be hotter. My wife believes they were toned down due to legal reasons, but I believe they aren’t really ghost pepper infused. See, the reason for this is because of the jalapenos on it. I think these are definitely hotter than their traditional wings, and they aren’t vinegary in the least, which I loved.

So, yes, they are very delicious and I would order them again any time, but if you’re looking for something hot, don’t look here. I know I’m in the minority with how hot I can eat (I’ve also eaten Thai chilis straight and claimed they were in my hot range for sure), but these just made me sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to be crapping fire later…just not the blood I was expecting.

Should you get them? If you want to say you ate ghost chili wings and pretend you’re awesome to those who haven’t had them, do it. If you like hot food and want something with flavor, go for it without hesitation. My wife thought they were hot and coughed on them, but she sweats eating a chili rellano (poblano chilis are what they use) sometimes and those are only rated at 2000 Scoville.

Good food. Disappointing heat.

Avatar review without the bias (s)

I know the movie has been out for a while now and there are several reviews out there on the Internet, but most of them are extremely liberally biased and/or praise James Camereon for the symbology (be it actual or made up by him).  What I’m going to do here is review the movie without all of that bias and offensive nature of Cameron’s statements, though I will talk about those later.

This will be slightly different from my past entries.  What I’m not going to do, is draw on outside references or make oddball comparisons.  No, you’ll get even more of a taste for the “every day me” instead of my comedic writing.  Also, I’m breaking this into sections.

Movie Plot
A corporation has found a unique material called “Unobtainium” on a planet designated “Pandora”.  Pandora also happens to be the home of a race of extremely tall, extremely strong humanoids called the “Na’Vi”.  When a former Marine’s twin brother ends up dead because of a mugging on Earth, he is enlisted to join the “Avatar Program” and journey to Pandora for a rather large paycheck over the course of six years.  What he learns when he arrives on Pandora changes his outlook on life and the fate of both the Na’Vi and the Earthlings, called “The Sky People” by the Na’Vi, are on his hands.

Review
Basic Impression
Now, I saw the movie in IMax 3D and I was impressed.  Not only did the movie have excellent pacing which kept it from getting boring (perfect for a three hour movie), but the IMax 3D was amazing.  The movie had depth and added that extra dimension of realism I think would have been otherwise missing had I seen it as a traditional screening.

Graphics
Avatar has great graphics.  The renderings are very impressive.  Now, I wasn’t completely blown away, but I think it’s because my computer routinely displays such amazing pictures back to me in my video games, thanks to my graphics card.  However, the people I went to see the movie with kept talking about how amazing the Avatars looked.  The 3D was awesome regardless, however, and kept my interest the entire time.

Story
This is where Avatar really wanted to shine.  While it does in most ways, there are quite a few areas it needed improvement.  Obviously nothing is perfect, but when you’re trying to beat people over the head with the Liberal Stick, you need to be better at it.  As subtle as Avatar tries to be in the beginning, it turns into a tree hugging fest a few times, but the story quickly moves away for a moment or two.

The over all story is really good, and if nothing else, should be taken with a grain of salt in order to enjoy.  Yes, everyone gets it that the most precious resource and treasure is nature and not a rock, but a rock is also nature.  Thus, the logic is flawed.  After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is it not?

Full Review
When I went to see the movie I didn’t know any kind of “message” Cameron was really trying to present.  I knew it was going to be about Earthlings “invading” a different world in order to get some mineral for their own use and that was it.  So, when I saw the movie, some of the “messages” took on different meanings for me, and not in the “Love the puppy and hug a tree!!!” way.

Before you get your panty-briefs in a twist, I’m saying that I did enjoy the movie.  It was a fun ride and worth the price for seeing it in 3D.  I wouldn’t have felt justified seeing it as a traditional screening, however.

Okay, back on track with the actual movie here.  For me, I didn’t consider the mercenaries to be a reflection on the military (mercs are hired guns after all and don’t have to play by a lot of the same rules), the corporation being the US government (it’s an independent entity out to make a profit, which is brought up a few times), nor the Avatar drivers being “gamers” (which Cameron has decided they are for some reason).  Also, the reason the rock is so valuable is NEVER explained.  Ever.

What I recognized in the armed combat unit in the movie is that many of them are there only to collect a paycheck while others are there because it’s a chance to explore, without having to deal with the military.  Being a former soldier myself, these hired guns in the movie didn’t reflect anything I had experienced in the past or in the present.  To me, it was more of a message “Blackwater BAD!!!!” than “The military is EVIL!!!”, which is, apparently, what Cameron wanted us to think.

I didn’t try and connect the entire corporation is the US government, either.  I also didn’t try to connect their ambitions to “Manifest Destiny”, which Cameron wanted us to do.  Instead, what I saw was the traditional “Corporations BAD!!!!” message and the message of “open your mind to other options”.  Manifest Destiny?  Hardly.  The corporation knew what was were and was going for it.  They weren’t trying to take the land from the Na’Vi, they just wanted what was in the ground.  Why the corporation simply didn’t use all their technology to dig a pit and then tunnel under the Na’Vi’s home is beyond me, but obviously Cameron wanted us to see mankind as only a destroyer and polluter.  After all, we’re made to see the ships used by the Earthlings blowing out HUGE pillars of black smoke and constantly strip-mining the area.  If this was supposed to be 2154, there would obviously be huge changes in mining techniques.

Probably one of the most offensive things thus far is that Cameron has decided the Avatar drivers are like people who play video games.  I’ll get more on his statement later, but let me talk about this part first.  I guess because people who play video games aren’t in their own bodies inside the game, and instead controlling something which cannot do anything on its own, they are just like someone playing Call of Duty.  This never, ever, not once, occurred to me the entire time I was watching the movie.  After all, several times in the movie the characters talk about how the Avatar program is there to get them in with the Na’Vi, learn their ways, get their trust, and let them allow the humans to strip mine the area.  Yeah, I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but whatever.  I don’t get how this is similar to gamers.  No, really, I don’t.  Hell, the first time you see Sigourney Weaver’s character, she asks for a cigarette while shouting obscenities to her employees.

Apparently this is where Cameron is trying to make a message: The character and gamers only care about their Avatar bodies and not their real ones, by drinking, smoking, and eating food that makes them fat.  Excuse me?  I run a mile every other day and do pushups, situps, and arm curls on the days I don’t run.  I don’t smoke, I drink extremely rarely, and I game 20+ hours a week often times.  Go sit on a piece of shattered glass sticking straight up, Cameron.

As the audience, we’re introduced to the material “Unobtainium” not long into the movie and told that it sells for $20 million a kilo.  Why is it so precious and expensive?  Who the hell knows and you’re not supposed to care.  Personally, I took it to be a great kind of metal with naturally super conductive abilities, which explains the reason it sold for so much.  My attitude towards it was, “Awesome!”  No, however…you’re supposed to see an ugly gray rock, and because there’s explanation as to why it is so expensive, you’re supposed to hate it and the people after it.  It’s supposed to make you wonder why you like gold, silver, diamonds, sapphires, enter-whatever-gem-metal-and-whatever-here.  I didn’t connect it to anything like that, and I personally don’t give a damn about any of those.  Sure they look cool, but I don’t go, “OH DIAMONDS!”  To me, it’s a shiny rock and don’t care, which is probably why I didn’t consider any of it.

Now, as far as the Avatars go…at one point there’s a romance scene between the “hero”, Jack Scully, and the Na’Vi girl, Neytiri.  I don’t know if Cameron wanted you to feel happy for the couple or try to make a new fetish, but it was kind of awkward and unneeded.  Yes, I did kind of feel the Na’Vi people were supposed to be like the American Indians, but not the real ones…the ones we are supposed to fantasize existed and lived in direct communion with nature…which most never did.  No, the American Indians were most often at war with each other and while they used most of the animals they killed, they had to in order to survive.

Now for the whole “invasion” thing…come on.  We are supposed to feel hatred toward the humans and sympathy for the Na’Vi.  I didn’t.  At least no more so than for anyone I would here on Earth.  I didn’t go away not like the humans in the movie and I didn’t go away thinking the Na’Vi were pure.  The humans are chastised and hated because they fight against the Na’Vi, but the Na’Vi go out of their way to kill the humans on sight, without provocation.  Sure later on in the movie they are defending themselves, but early on the audience is told they stalk you in the forest and kill you.  Oh, and the best part is, we see it to be true with Neytiri stalking Jack Scully’s Avatar in the forest, before she is stopped by a “message from their god”.

This brings me to the next part…we’re made to believe their god is real and basically that the “Christian” god is fake ideology.  When the Na’Vi are defending themselves, the reason is that the mercenary unit is out to blow up their most holy place.  Why are they doing this?  Because they’re hanging out there after having their home destroyed.  Again, this is supposed to make you think about the US Military fighting Islamists over in the Middle East.  Problem is, not even the United Nations would okay such a terrible act.

At one point we’re told that everything on Pandora is connected through a network of root systems and the Na’Vi can upload and download information, including what is considered consciousness, to this network.  I don’t know if this is supposed to be a reflection on the Internet, but maybe it is.  I didn’t consider it until just now typing this out, so again, Cameron fails.  Yes, it’s extremely cool that an entire ecosystem is connected like that, but it’s a tragic flaw for the planet…what happens when a virus gets spread amongst the plants?  Everything would die and so would the planet.  Oops, Cameron, didn’t think that one in, did you?  Obviously not, because the destruction of the biggest tree on Pandora didn’t cause massive problems for the planet, which you suggested it would.

Final Thoughts
Do I suggest you see the movie?  Yes, if nothing more for an entertaining ride.  Remember to take everything with a grain of salt and just enjoy the journey you’re put through.  However, if you’re an influential ass, such as one who watched Sideways and changed the way they thought of and drank wine, then stay the hell away because you’ll be reading way too much into things.  At least, you’ll be reading into nonsense that Cameron claims was there.

Oh, and, hey, Cameron!  If you wrote this “epic tale” over six years ago, then how can you possibly claim somethings, such as Sigourney Weaver’s character is a direct reflection of gamers when it’s just been a scant two years it’s become such a popular thing?  Yeah, you’re a hack intelligently, but at least you can make a movie.  However, you’ll never get the right to do “The Edmond Fitzgerald”, and rightfully so after Titanic.

See the movie in 3D and it’s worth the price you paid.

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Posted 1/6/2010 at 4:9 PM on Xanga

Went to see Babalon A.D. (s)

Well, I went to see it last Sunday actually. Is it worth seeing? Yes, the movie is worth the price of admission as long as you see it as a matinee. If you don’t know anything about the story before hand, then prepare to be a little pissed at the ending. I’m not going to give anything away, of course.

Just go see it at a “discounted” price. Vin Diesel was really good in ti and the entire movie moved at a really good pace

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Posted 9/11/2008 at 12:42 AM on Xanga