How People are Finding my Entries Part 2 (s)(t)

So, quite some time ago I wrote about how people were finding my entires. Some of them were…frightening to say the least. Again, I love people finding my writings. Really, I do. If I didn’t, I shouldn’t be writing. It’s just…for fuck’s sake, people. What is wrong with you?

Once again, here’s how people have been finding my site…lord have mercy…


kau injak, aku diam kau gauli, aku diam kau rampas, aku masih diam kau hancurkan sampai ulu hati, hanya ada geming tersisa when u destroy me, u kill yourself in the first place.
What the shit? I have no idea what the hell any of this is supposed to be. When I ran the search in Google, my writings didn’t even come up. It has to do with some scare tactic bullshit, worse than the Weather Channel, claiming video games are telling your children to kill themselves. They aren’t. I am, though.

how to be professional in mortal kombat
Nothing on my site is going to tell you how to actually do this. However, this makes sense because of my fake entry New Professional Mortal Kombat 9 Tournament Rules


it’s already valentine’s day and i dont know what to get myself yet

How about cyanide and a nice cold drink, you loser? Seriously, wtf? Now you’re supposed to get yourself something for Valentine’s Day? Please tell me this isn’t something actually happening!


strangle

No, really, that’s all they searched for and found me. I have no idea why…


sieg fuck

*blink blink* Uhm…okay, sure thing there, buddy. I went ten pages deep in the searches in Google and never came up with my site. I have no idea how deep I’m buried. I can only imagine this is some how in reference to my Psychology Is Junk Science article. That…or someone is REALLY into Nazi porn.


do guys like donkey punching?

Are they asking because they want to know if it’s something they should be used to, something to expect, or something they want to try? My mind is going a mile a minute trying to comprehend this one. I mean, the answer is YES to all of those, but I like to know the finer details such as, “Do you mind if it’s an all knuckles punch?”


how to fuck your employer

Usually just bringing it up in conversation works. You can always just start off slowly with a casual date and feel it out. If that doesn’t work, a brick to the back of the head works. If it’s a guy, the brick still works if you hit them hard enough to ensure an priapism.


redmist entj kickass

What? That illustrated novel and so-so movie? What?


red hair bitch backside

Just the backside? If so, then what does the red hair have to do with it? I know I’m on the internet and there are some really specific fetishes out there, but this one is oddly specific and not in a fun way. Just a…that’s boring kind of way.


sorry i only post about my daughter

…go on… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


ziggy grover gay fanfiction

Okay, so I wrote a few fake really bad fan fiction about Power Rangers, which I’m probably going to conclude with one more entry, but in no way was the Ziggy Grover character I had in the stories gay. Besides that, why the fuck? This person was looking for this unironically I guarantee it.


brittany blue preggo

Why?


xy.hot.4minat.videos

I’m not on the deep nor the dark web, you morons. Though, I seriously doubt whoever this was either heard about it and thought that’s how you type it in without using an onion router or…they’re just that far too stupid. I’m going with the latter, unfortunately.


how to tell your employer to fuck off and let me shit

Personally? I’d take them out to a nice lunch. You know, one with candles and Italian food. I’d stroke their hand, laugh at their jokes, and bring it up as part of a natural flow in the conversation. On the other hand, you could always just do it like you stated the search query.


fuckdoll faggot makeup

0_o


boss forcly fucking his employer

Again, you people have some really specific fetishes. I’m sure there’s plenty of clearnet porn out there with this. What it has to do with me? I don’t know exactly, though. Good lord…


hitler south park fags

This…this was something someone looked up in their spare time. I’m picturing this dumb ass sitting there expecting some great revelation only to find them saying things on the show and being so mad they masturbate to pictures of their own anus for hours.


love guru how to press a girl boobs when we meet

If I may? I’d start with “Hello”.


stop bullying, your giving a shit!

Is this like “taking the piss”, but far, far more stupid a phrase? That’s cultural appropriation, and that’s wrong. It’s not, but…whatever.


“wolfman” “douche nozzle”

Again, why is this a thing being looked for? I’m not even going to bother trying to find out where I fall in the search results. You can do it yourselves.


telepathic cat siggy creepypasta

How…why…I don’t even…


employer boss come at dinner to his employer and fucking to.is wifevidos

This can’t get any stranger…


soda show webcam????????????? no no no … not me :3 she sexy more than me :d

I can’t do this anymore…I’m fucking done…


Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go scrub my eyes and brain with Drain-O….fuck….

Foodie Review – TGI Friday’s Ghost Pepper Wings (s) (t)

Before I really get into this review, let me introduce a new title modifier, the “(t)”! After talking to someone in person who reads my blog, I was told it was extremely difficult to tell when something on here is true. I can understand that. I’m a massively sarcastic asshole, so it can be difficult to tell when something is both true and serious. So, the “(t)” modifier tells you it’s true. The “(s)” still means it’s serious, which I figured covered true as well, but I guess it doesn’t have to include it.

Yes, this entry is both serious and true. I’m not writing satire. How I feel about these wings is true.

A quick history:
Growing up in Southern California allowed me to exposed to a lot of good cuisine. I was also able to sample a lot of different spices. I’m not shitting you when I say I’ve eaten some moronically hot stuff. When I would go into the garment district of L.A, my family and I would buy chorizo breakfast burritos so hot they would burn your eyes just walking up to the roach coach. Sure the Mexicans would laugh at us as we’d sweat and snot, but damn they were good! I eat both raw and cooked jalapenos like candy. I once had a teaspoon of hot sauce put directly into my mouth which was so hot you had to sign a waiver to buy it and it was required to be in glass to keep it from eating through the plastic. Yes, really. It literally ate a hole through the paper plate. It hurt and I will probably never eat it again. I regularly eat habanero hot wings, though I don’t shovel them into my mouth. Several of my friends can testify to watching me eating wasabi straight off of chop sticks with no problem. One friend can even testify to seeing me do that with the REAL wasabi you get in Japan which costs 100$ a pound.

I don’t seek out and devour hot stuff, but I like to be tested. I was hoping to be tested this day. I was not. My list goes from “no heat” (for example Del Taco’s Inferno sauce) to “fucking hot” (like a habanero). Before anyone says it, I’m not claiming to be a chili head nor someone who has a tough mouth.

In the same vain, it’s interesting to note CS gas doesn’t affect me, but pepper spray does. If it gets in my eyes anyway.


TGI Friday’s has brought back the changeable all you can eat appetizer awesomeness. It’s fucking amazing. Those pot stickers, baby…those pot stickers. Eat more than two plates and its paid for itself. The whole thing is one of the best deals they’ve ever done.

I was excited to see they added new items, even if most of them I’m not interested in. It’s good stuff, don’t get me wrong, as the bites I took from my wife’s plate were delicious, just not something I’d get for myself. While trying to decided what we’d order next for ourselves, I picked up the table topper and noticed the flavors of wings listed. My eyes lit up, my soul began to sing, and I pointed out they had ghost pepper wings!

My wife also got excited. Not because she was going to have any since anything hotter than a few splashes of red pepper makes her cry, but because she knew I could eat pretty hot food and wanted to see me do it. Yes, we’re strange, and that’s one of the reasons the marriage works. Sorry fan-girls. Please don’t commit suicide over this.

When the waitress asked what we wanted to put in for the next round of appetizers, I excitedly told her I wanted those ghost pepper wings. Now, in my mind I was expecting something mouth hurting. You know, somewhere between the Blazin flavor at BWW and a habanero sauce. Because, well, ghost peppers are very much hotter than a habenero and I consider those to be fucking hot at 100,000 to 350,000 Scoville.

When the ghost pepper wings arrived on the table, the smell stung my nose and my eyes a little. On top of these blood red wings covered in sauce were some jalapenos. As a joke I told my wife they were there to seem like they weren’t hot and were palette cleansers. Picking one up on a fork, I was excited. Taking a deep wiff my nose cleared and my eyes actually burned a very little bit.

Smiling, I took a bite and…meh. Now, don’t get me wrong, the flavor of these things is AMAZING. They are DELICIOUS. They are not, however, hot. I’d put them around my medium. I was very disappointed with the heat level.

Honestly, these need to be hotter. My wife believes they were toned down due to legal reasons, but I believe they aren’t really ghost pepper infused. See, the reason for this is because of the jalapenos on it. I think these are definitely hotter than their traditional wings, and they aren’t vinegary in the least, which I loved.

So, yes, they are very delicious and I would order them again any time, but if you’re looking for something hot, don’t look here. I know I’m in the minority with how hot I can eat (I’ve also eaten Thai chilis straight and claimed they were in my hot range for sure), but these just made me sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to be crapping fire later…just not the blood I was expecting.

Should you get them? If you want to say you ate ghost chili wings and pretend you’re awesome to those who haven’t had them, do it. If you like hot food and want something with flavor, go for it without hesitation. My wife thought they were hot and coughed on them, but she sweats eating a chili rellano (poblano chilis are what they use) sometimes and those are only rated at 2000 Scoville.

Good food. Disappointing heat.

Avatar review without the bias (s)

I know the movie has been out for a while now and there are several reviews out there on the Internet, but most of them are extremely liberally biased and/or praise James Camereon for the symbology (be it actual or made up by him).  What I’m going to do here is review the movie without all of that bias and offensive nature of Cameron’s statements, though I will talk about those later.

This will be slightly different from my past entries.  What I’m not going to do, is draw on outside references or make oddball comparisons.  No, you’ll get even more of a taste for the “every day me” instead of my comedic writing.  Also, I’m breaking this into sections.

Movie Plot
A corporation has found a unique material called “Unobtainium” on a planet designated “Pandora”.  Pandora also happens to be the home of a race of extremely tall, extremely strong humanoids called the “Na’Vi”.  When a former Marine’s twin brother ends up dead because of a mugging on Earth, he is enlisted to join the “Avatar Program” and journey to Pandora for a rather large paycheck over the course of six years.  What he learns when he arrives on Pandora changes his outlook on life and the fate of both the Na’Vi and the Earthlings, called “The Sky People” by the Na’Vi, are on his hands.

Review
Basic Impression
Now, I saw the movie in IMax 3D and I was impressed.  Not only did the movie have excellent pacing which kept it from getting boring (perfect for a three hour movie), but the IMax 3D was amazing.  The movie had depth and added that extra dimension of realism I think would have been otherwise missing had I seen it as a traditional screening.

Graphics
Avatar has great graphics.  The renderings are very impressive.  Now, I wasn’t completely blown away, but I think it’s because my computer routinely displays such amazing pictures back to me in my video games, thanks to my graphics card.  However, the people I went to see the movie with kept talking about how amazing the Avatars looked.  The 3D was awesome regardless, however, and kept my interest the entire time.

Story
This is where Avatar really wanted to shine.  While it does in most ways, there are quite a few areas it needed improvement.  Obviously nothing is perfect, but when you’re trying to beat people over the head with the Liberal Stick, you need to be better at it.  As subtle as Avatar tries to be in the beginning, it turns into a tree hugging fest a few times, but the story quickly moves away for a moment or two.

The over all story is really good, and if nothing else, should be taken with a grain of salt in order to enjoy.  Yes, everyone gets it that the most precious resource and treasure is nature and not a rock, but a rock is also nature.  Thus, the logic is flawed.  After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is it not?

Full Review
When I went to see the movie I didn’t know any kind of “message” Cameron was really trying to present.  I knew it was going to be about Earthlings “invading” a different world in order to get some mineral for their own use and that was it.  So, when I saw the movie, some of the “messages” took on different meanings for me, and not in the “Love the puppy and hug a tree!!!” way.

Before you get your panty-briefs in a twist, I’m saying that I did enjoy the movie.  It was a fun ride and worth the price for seeing it in 3D.  I wouldn’t have felt justified seeing it as a traditional screening, however.

Okay, back on track with the actual movie here.  For me, I didn’t consider the mercenaries to be a reflection on the military (mercs are hired guns after all and don’t have to play by a lot of the same rules), the corporation being the US government (it’s an independent entity out to make a profit, which is brought up a few times), nor the Avatar drivers being “gamers” (which Cameron has decided they are for some reason).  Also, the reason the rock is so valuable is NEVER explained.  Ever.

What I recognized in the armed combat unit in the movie is that many of them are there only to collect a paycheck while others are there because it’s a chance to explore, without having to deal with the military.  Being a former soldier myself, these hired guns in the movie didn’t reflect anything I had experienced in the past or in the present.  To me, it was more of a message “Blackwater BAD!!!!” than “The military is EVIL!!!”, which is, apparently, what Cameron wanted us to think.

I didn’t try and connect the entire corporation is the US government, either.  I also didn’t try to connect their ambitions to “Manifest Destiny”, which Cameron wanted us to do.  Instead, what I saw was the traditional “Corporations BAD!!!!” message and the message of “open your mind to other options”.  Manifest Destiny?  Hardly.  The corporation knew what was were and was going for it.  They weren’t trying to take the land from the Na’Vi, they just wanted what was in the ground.  Why the corporation simply didn’t use all their technology to dig a pit and then tunnel under the Na’Vi’s home is beyond me, but obviously Cameron wanted us to see mankind as only a destroyer and polluter.  After all, we’re made to see the ships used by the Earthlings blowing out HUGE pillars of black smoke and constantly strip-mining the area.  If this was supposed to be 2154, there would obviously be huge changes in mining techniques.

Probably one of the most offensive things thus far is that Cameron has decided the Avatar drivers are like people who play video games.  I’ll get more on his statement later, but let me talk about this part first.  I guess because people who play video games aren’t in their own bodies inside the game, and instead controlling something which cannot do anything on its own, they are just like someone playing Call of Duty.  This never, ever, not once, occurred to me the entire time I was watching the movie.  After all, several times in the movie the characters talk about how the Avatar program is there to get them in with the Na’Vi, learn their ways, get their trust, and let them allow the humans to strip mine the area.  Yeah, I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but whatever.  I don’t get how this is similar to gamers.  No, really, I don’t.  Hell, the first time you see Sigourney Weaver’s character, she asks for a cigarette while shouting obscenities to her employees.

Apparently this is where Cameron is trying to make a message: The character and gamers only care about their Avatar bodies and not their real ones, by drinking, smoking, and eating food that makes them fat.  Excuse me?  I run a mile every other day and do pushups, situps, and arm curls on the days I don’t run.  I don’t smoke, I drink extremely rarely, and I game 20+ hours a week often times.  Go sit on a piece of shattered glass sticking straight up, Cameron.

As the audience, we’re introduced to the material “Unobtainium” not long into the movie and told that it sells for $20 million a kilo.  Why is it so precious and expensive?  Who the hell knows and you’re not supposed to care.  Personally, I took it to be a great kind of metal with naturally super conductive abilities, which explains the reason it sold for so much.  My attitude towards it was, “Awesome!”  No, however…you’re supposed to see an ugly gray rock, and because there’s explanation as to why it is so expensive, you’re supposed to hate it and the people after it.  It’s supposed to make you wonder why you like gold, silver, diamonds, sapphires, enter-whatever-gem-metal-and-whatever-here.  I didn’t connect it to anything like that, and I personally don’t give a damn about any of those.  Sure they look cool, but I don’t go, “OH DIAMONDS!”  To me, it’s a shiny rock and don’t care, which is probably why I didn’t consider any of it.

Now, as far as the Avatars go…at one point there’s a romance scene between the “hero”, Jack Scully, and the Na’Vi girl, Neytiri.  I don’t know if Cameron wanted you to feel happy for the couple or try to make a new fetish, but it was kind of awkward and unneeded.  Yes, I did kind of feel the Na’Vi people were supposed to be like the American Indians, but not the real ones…the ones we are supposed to fantasize existed and lived in direct communion with nature…which most never did.  No, the American Indians were most often at war with each other and while they used most of the animals they killed, they had to in order to survive.

Now for the whole “invasion” thing…come on.  We are supposed to feel hatred toward the humans and sympathy for the Na’Vi.  I didn’t.  At least no more so than for anyone I would here on Earth.  I didn’t go away not like the humans in the movie and I didn’t go away thinking the Na’Vi were pure.  The humans are chastised and hated because they fight against the Na’Vi, but the Na’Vi go out of their way to kill the humans on sight, without provocation.  Sure later on in the movie they are defending themselves, but early on the audience is told they stalk you in the forest and kill you.  Oh, and the best part is, we see it to be true with Neytiri stalking Jack Scully’s Avatar in the forest, before she is stopped by a “message from their god”.

This brings me to the next part…we’re made to believe their god is real and basically that the “Christian” god is fake ideology.  When the Na’Vi are defending themselves, the reason is that the mercenary unit is out to blow up their most holy place.  Why are they doing this?  Because they’re hanging out there after having their home destroyed.  Again, this is supposed to make you think about the US Military fighting Islamists over in the Middle East.  Problem is, not even the United Nations would okay such a terrible act.

At one point we’re told that everything on Pandora is connected through a network of root systems and the Na’Vi can upload and download information, including what is considered consciousness, to this network.  I don’t know if this is supposed to be a reflection on the Internet, but maybe it is.  I didn’t consider it until just now typing this out, so again, Cameron fails.  Yes, it’s extremely cool that an entire ecosystem is connected like that, but it’s a tragic flaw for the planet…what happens when a virus gets spread amongst the plants?  Everything would die and so would the planet.  Oops, Cameron, didn’t think that one in, did you?  Obviously not, because the destruction of the biggest tree on Pandora didn’t cause massive problems for the planet, which you suggested it would.

Final Thoughts
Do I suggest you see the movie?  Yes, if nothing more for an entertaining ride.  Remember to take everything with a grain of salt and just enjoy the journey you’re put through.  However, if you’re an influential ass, such as one who watched Sideways and changed the way they thought of and drank wine, then stay the hell away because you’ll be reading way too much into things.  At least, you’ll be reading into nonsense that Cameron claims was there.

Oh, and, hey, Cameron!  If you wrote this “epic tale” over six years ago, then how can you possibly claim somethings, such as Sigourney Weaver’s character is a direct reflection of gamers when it’s just been a scant two years it’s become such a popular thing?  Yeah, you’re a hack intelligently, but at least you can make a movie.  However, you’ll never get the right to do “The Edmond Fitzgerald”, and rightfully so after Titanic.

See the movie in 3D and it’s worth the price you paid.

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Posted 1/6/2010 at 4:9 PM on Xanga

Went to see Babalon A.D. (s)

Well, I went to see it last Sunday actually. Is it worth seeing? Yes, the movie is worth the price of admission as long as you see it as a matinee. If you don’t know anything about the story before hand, then prepare to be a little pissed at the ending. I’m not going to give anything away, of course.

Just go see it at a “discounted” price. Vin Diesel was really good in ti and the entire movie moved at a really good pace

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Posted 9/11/2008 at 12:42 AM on Xanga