Aw, psychology. If ever there was a useless profession while making too much money, it’s this. The only thing more worthless (in a practice sense) than a psychiatrist is a psychologist. The only thing more worthless than either of those are counselors.
Just ask them and they’ll tell you: Everyone needs psychiatric assistance. Why? Because that’s what they are taught and force fed, and also because most of them probably do need actual help. Any person I have met who was going into the field or was thinking about going into the field all fed the bullshit, “Everyone needs psychiatric help.”
No, not everyone needs psychiatric help, you idiots. What most people want is someone to talk and bitch to. The problem is these power hungry assholes have gone from trying to identify truly dangerous conditions and warning signs, such as a child burning cats alive while also beating the crap out of people he knows, to cashing in on people who have no one to talk to.
When I purchased my home, the lady who lived there prior was a psychology student. The teacher encouraged them to keep a journal according to her writing. She left it by mistake after she moved out. I could literally read as this woman’s life was torn to hell by the very schooling she was attending due to what they were telling her was normal. Oh, and big surprise here: She repeated the mantra of “everyone needs psychiatric help” many times in different forms throughout her journal. At one point she even was asking herself in the journal how her life ended up so out of control and in the pit it was in now. Well, I can tell you it’s when she started that stupid program.
Before any of you morons start going on about the pseudo-science behind psychology, yes, I have been to a psychologist, no it wasn’t for being crazy, no it wasn’t my choice, no I wasn’t ordered to go because I needed help. The reason I went was because my past career required it before hire and after firearms related incidents. I even had to attend a few sessions before being let out of the military at the time because of the missions I undertook. Also, yes, I have known other people who got into psychology/psychiatry and I broke off all relationships with them because they turned into even bigger douche bags.
Normal is what they claim
Aside from their popular mantra, the other major reason I can’t stand these people is how they only believe what is taught to them to be normal. Back in the day, it was normal for children to be attracted to ten things going on during recess and play with eight things at once…now it’s fucking ADD. Hell, even now adults have ADHD because they find it hard to concentrate on boring ass meetings rather than sit there and listen. News flash: Being bored is normal and human! Children need to learn how to multitask and play with many things at once until their brain develops. Thinking about hot naked people on a tropical beach as you see yourself sipping a drink when you’re actually reading through TPS reports is perfectly normal! Everything is a damn disorder to these idiots. For those of us here in America, we have a lot of fun things we can be doing, so when you’re staring at five days of mind numbing paperwork and wishing you were playing Battlefield 4 instead, it’s not a disorder.
This day in age if you’re angry about something, you have a disorder. If you’re sad about something, you have a disorder. If you’re bored, you have a disorder. If you write, paint, or make movies about strange things, then you have a disorder.
Guess what? Anger is a normal response to something which pisses you off. Want to know why something pissed you off? Who cares! You’re upset about it and you have a right to be. Now, if you’re flying off the handle because someone is writing about how psychology is bullshit on the Internet, you have some deeper rooted problems you need to figure out and you aren’t expressing yourself correctly during your life. Fix that shit! You don’t need a psychology “expert” to tell you if you bottle up everything you’ll explode.
One personal experience
I know you’re all probably interested in what the whole incident with me regarding psychologists is about. Well, I was a police officer for some years and when I went into the hiring process, I was required to undergo a polygraph and psychological exam. That psych test was the biggest bullshit waste of time I have done in a long time for a job application. If you’re wondering, you’re an idiot, because I was obviously hired.
Basically, what happened is I get to the place and am given a colored packet with a number. I could have had between 316 questions and 1,699 questions to answer. No shit. This is known as the IPIP-Neo (International Personality Item Pool
Representation of the NEO PI-R™) in order to decide what kind of person you are. I lucked out and only had 316 questions to answer, but it still took me a few hours to do because I was given two other packets to answer questions with. When I finished, I had to wait again to see if they wanted to then do an actual person-to-person psychological exam. Yeah, you heard me right: a computer decided if I warranted a conversation with a human to be screened as a cop.
So I finally get in to see a real person and it’s this reasonably attractive woman who greets me. I’m not kidding…this is exactly how it happened:
Her – “Hello, Sunrie (she used my real name). I’m just going to ask you a series of questions and ask you to clarify things if I have to.”
Me – “*shaking hear hand and walking in* Oh, okay. Well as you know my name is Sunrie (used my real name). I am 5’9″ tall, 145lbs, blue eyes, dark brown hair. I like a wide form of music, hiking, fishing, and long walks on the beach back when I was in California. I like red heads, but don’t discriminate. Sense of humor is a must.”
Her – “*slowly writing on her pad* I guess we have all the answers then. *sits down on her chair*”
Me – “Oh, awesome, I passed! *laughs*”
Her – “*continues to write and motions to the chair while not looking at me* I didn’t say anything about passing.”
Me – “Oh…in that case, my name is Michael Begario and I want to thank you for shopping at BestBuy!”
Her – “*says nothing and keeps writing*”
Me – “Uhm…should I just sit down then?”
Her – “*finally stops writing, looks at me and nods* Please.”
I just kind of shrugged and sat down, stretched bit and then told her I was ready to start. I was asked some strange and bizarre questions, a few which shocked me, which is difficult to do. At the end of the application process I ended up in front of the chief who then went over all the results of the polygraph (another junk pseudo-science) and the psych exam. What did it say? Well, her interpretation of my results were this: Egotistical personality stemming from narcissism which can lead to extreme risk taking and suicidal tendencies; Severe problem with authority. I looked at the chief and let him know I wasn’t suicidal.
If you’re interested, at the bottom of this entry is a copy my results, which are kind of funny. I found the exact test I took back then and retook it.
Why you should be concerned
Some of you may be thinking, “Well, that’s all good and funny, but I don’t have to deal with it.” WRONG! When you apply at almost any company these days they have you take a psychology test. They call it a “personality test” or a “placement test” and even claim “This is not a psychological evaluation.” That statement is pure bullshit, because every 8 out of 10 of the questions on there come from the IPIP-Neo exam!
On top of that, you have many of these crazy people trying to say you’re crazy for being normal. Did you know that if you believe in the right to defend yourself and use the Second Amendment of the United States Constitution, you have a mental illness? Yep! Simply for owning a gun you’re now mentally deficient. Like reading children’s stories and you’re an adult? You’re also mentally deficient! You liberals aren’t off the hook, either. Did you know Liberalism is also considered an mental illness? Yep, it’s a sub-group of narcissism.
Some fun proof psychology is bullshit
So, for a little fun and to laugh at the moronic field of study this has become, I took a few of the psychology tests they give people to check if they’re okay. Let’s start off with me taking the Personality Disorder Test. …shut up…
Borderline Personality Disorder Test
So, this one I figured would be pretty funny to take because I had a feeling it was going to tell me I had a personality disorder. Why? Remember the psychological mantra: Everyone needs psychiatric help!
So, I go about and answer the questions…here’s the result:
Current score is: 2
Scoring Borderline Personality Disorder Test:
0-4 (You may have symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder)
5-10 (Higher likelihood you have Borderline Personality Disorder)
Do you see that?! Even if you score a god damn zero you’re being listed as possibly having a personality disorder! Are you thinking maybe this is just something a person made and put online as one of those silly tests, like on Facebook? Nope. This is on the bottom of the test:
This Borderline Personality Disorder test is based upon Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (American Psychiatric Association, 4th Ed.) criteria for BPD. 2004.
Yep. Psychologists believe you may have a personality disorder simply be being alive. Sure my score was reasonably low, but I think I’m a little upset it wasn’t higher.
Schizophrenia Screening Test
Yes, I know I’m kind of stretching here, but let’s see what the test results say. Now, mind you, I find myself a little able to see paranormal activity, so some of the questions I answered honestly to, but might not apply. Still, here’s the result:
Current score is: 10
Scoring the Schizophrenia Screening Test:
0-9 (No schizophrenia)
10-14 (Possibility of early signs of schizophrenia)
15+ (More signs schizophrenia)
This one is slightly more forgiving stating if you have 0-9 then you don’t have schizophrenia. However, why even have a 15+ when 10 or more says it’s early signs of schizophrenia? Why not just tell people if you have 10+ to print this out and see a doctor, wasting thousands of dollars?
Once again, the bottom of the test claims this is actually from a real thing:
This schizophrenia test is based upon Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (American Psychiatric Association, 4th Ed.) criteria for schizophrenia. 2004. All rights reserved.
Alright! Let’s get to something a little more serious and common! So, do I have ADHD like almost every psychologist/psychiatrist wants me to believe? Well…I do hate to and find it hard to concentrate on really boring paperwork…I like to day dream when I can…I have a very active imagination…
Current score is: 26
70+ (High probability of Adult ADHD)
50-69 (Moderate Adult ADHD)
35-49 (Mild Adult ADHD)
25-34 (Boderline Adult ADHD)
0-25 (Adult ADHD unlikely)
People with similar scores have great difficulty concentrating on a single task, and cannot pay attention in meetings, discussions, or stay ‘on task’.
Are you kidding me? So I have “borderline Adult ADHD” simply because I don’t like certain things, I’m easily amused, boring things don’t hold my attention, and annoying people piss me off?
What’s with 70+ being a high probability, but under that you DO have it, unless you’re 25- which is simply “unlikely”?
Yes, folks, because you’re too free willed and have a sense of individuality, you have ADHD and need medication. You aren’t shutting up and letting people tell you what to do, and you aren’t sitting down quietly to just do your mundane tasks, so you nee to be medicated.
Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden die Psychologie nicht beleidigen! Sieg heil! Sieg und wholstand!
You nor I have fucking ADHD! We are adults with other things on our mind besides some bullshit someone claims is important, but isn’t. Know what’s important? A cop stopping an armed robbery. Know what’s important? A paramedic saving a dying mother from bleeding out on the way to the hospital. Know what’s important? A fireman saving a child from a burning building. Know what isn’t important? Making sure the shelves are stocked with the newest Dove soap. Know what isn’t important? Making sure your spreadsheet is full of the updated parts information for satellite receivers. You may think it’s important, and it may be for the company, but in the grand scheme of life, it isn’t important.
Oh, once again:
Copyright 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993 Larry Jasper & Ivan Goldberg. All rights reserved. Adopted from the printed edition of the Jasper/Goldberg Adult ADD Screening Examination for electronic distribution.
This is by far my favorite…even more than the result for being bi-polar! What you should know about me is I hardly ever drink. The last time I actually went out for a night of drinking was my bachelor party on September 26th. My guys got me pretty wasted. Before that? It was my birthday the previous year. I drink what could be considered heavily once every four to twelve months. I’m lucky to average one bottle of beer every month and a half. I just don’t drink that much. Combined the fact of not feeling like it with almost always being armed all the time, it just doesn’t happen.
Well, what does the test say about me?
Current score is: 9
Scoring the Alcoholism Test:
0-1: (alcoholism a possibility)
2: (alcoholism a strong possibility)
3+: (high chances of being an alcoholic)
There are many different forms of treatment for alcoholism. The important thing to remember: there is help available.
Yep! Looks like I’m an alcoholic! The questions ranged from things like, “Do you feel a drink helps calm you down?” to “You always need a drink during certain times of the day.”
According to this fucking thing I am a high chance of being an alcoholic, which is completely and utter bullshit. After all, I’m addicted to video games…and boobs.
Sorry…when I took this one I forgot to copy the information on who originated the test…
I was looking forward to this one. It became my favorite just slightly behind the one for alcoholism. Like the one having to do with schizophrenia, some of my answers may not apply, but they’re the truth. So, what does it have to say about me?
Current score is: 8
This bipolar test automatically tallies the score for the MDQ, Mood Disorder Questionnaire:
0-6 points: Your responses do NOT meet the criteria that suggest a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
7 or above: Answering “Yes” to 7 or more of the events in questions #1-13; Answering “Yes” to question #14, and answering “Moderate Problem” or “Serious Problem” to question #15 is considered a positive screen for bipolar disorder.
Help is available through bipolar medications and therapy for bipolar disorder. Please print out your bipolar test and score and share it with your doctor or therapist.
Ha! Take it for what it’s worth, but this says I’m bipolar. I know for a fact I’m not. Notice the suggestion about printing it out and getting medication plus therapy for it? Yep, spend more stupid amounts of money while getting medicated.
Want to know the worst part? Let’s say I was concerned about this and went to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Not only would the former give me the medication “just to be safe”, but I’d lose all my Second Amendment rights as well. Let’s pretend I actually am a bipolar person with a gun and now I’m afraid to lose it. What’s worse? Someone not taking the medications or the one who is?
Well…actually the person taking the medications. Every mass shooter in recent history was taking psychotropic drugs, as admited by the International Society For Ethical Psychology and Psychiatry, remember?
Here’s who came up with this test:
Derived from Hirschfeld RM. Am J Psychiatry. 2000:157(11):1873-1875.
Social Anxiety Disorder
I figured this one would be null and void given my personality, but as it turns out, things are just not cut and dry in the world of psychology.
Current score is : 4
Scoring: The symptoms you are experiencing indicate you might have Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD).
Wha..wha…whaaaaaat?! I’m the guy, you probably call him the annoying asshole, who strikes up conversations with random people in line, dancing on the table completely sober at parties (even family ones) and jumping into the middle of a group of people to get attention…but I have Social Anxiety Disorder?! What the fuck!?
I was confused, so I read on and the following is the description of the disorder. Surely I must just be misunderstanding something…
In patients with SAD, feared social or performance situations typically provoke an immediate anxious reaction ranging from diffuse apprehension to situational panic.
Well…that still doesn’t fit my personality nor how I feel.
How do I get help for it, though?
Help is available through anti-anxiety medications and various therapies for Social Anxiety Disorder.
Where it came from:
This social anxiety-social phobia test is based upon the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (American Psychiatric Association, 4th Ed.) criteria for social anxiety disorder. 2004. All rights reserved.
My Personality Test
This is what some of you were waiting for! I’m an ENTJ…whatever the fucking hell that means. I don’t know what the percentages next to everything means and I don’t give a a damn.
It does but it doesn’t describe me…Hey, kind of like fortunetelling!
Extravert(33%) iNtuitive(50%) Thinking(75%) Judging(22%)
You have moderate preference of Extraversion over Introversion (33%)
You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (50%)
You have distinctive preference of Thinking over Feeling (75%)
You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (22%)
Your score on Extraversion is high, indicating you are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time.
Your score on Agreeableness is low, indicating less concern with others’ needs Than with your own. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising.
Your score on Conscientiousness is high. This means you set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.
Your score on Neuroticism is low, indicating that you are exceptionally calm, composed and unflappable. You do not react with intense emotions, even to situations that most people would describe as stressful.
Openness to Experience
OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE…..50
Your score on Openness to Experience is average, indicating you enjoy tradition but are willing to try new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual.
Well, there it all is! Psychology is junk science, known as pseudo-science. It looks like real science, but it isn’t. It’s just like fortunetelling or using magnets on your wrists to have better balance.
For some fun, here’s the good kind of psychiatrist…A Frontier Psychiatrist!