Dear Black People: Here’s a List of Things Everyone Wishes You’d Stop Doing

These are simple requests. Easy requests. But we’re not holding our breath.

Nigga, please!
There are a few things every race, nationality, ethnicity, sexual orientation…hell, EVERYONE…would like you to stop doing. They’re not complicated things. Just things that will benefit not everyone else around you, but your own race as well. By “benefit”, we all mean once you put these suggestions to use, it’ll make you tolerable person. Not a great person. Not a good person. Just a tolerable person. Being a tolerable person means people can stand to be around you for more than five seconds. It’s a win-meh situation. So just take a moment for the list below. Everyone will be glad you did.

1. Wash your hair. We’ve asked you this a million times. It doesn’t matter if you’re “growing out some sweet dreads/cornrows”. Either of those on an adult is proof positive you have absolutely no understanding between right and wrong at first glance.

2. Start understanding answers to questions. Stop going around in circles chasing your tail trying to confuse people into giving you something you don’t deserve.

3. Stop screaming in theatres. You’re there to watch what is going on during the movie and your flapping gums is not adding to the scenes. Shut the fuck up once in a while. We’d rather not listen to who you were recently fucking and how nasty he or she was while watching Star Wars.

4. Stop niggering up “white” foods. A tuna sandwich is just fine being a tuna sandwich. Collard greens are fucking disgusting. Sweet potatoes are like a desert and are even better with butter and cinnamon.

5. Stop claiming shit isn’t a trend when it obviously is. Like shaving your “rap name” into the back of your head or making cuts into your eyebrows to be different. That shit came and went. It’s not a culture so much as a moron trying to start something moronic.

6. Stop thinking only black people can make soul music. The only people who can’t create soul music are the Japanese and gingers because they don’t have souls.

7. Stop screaming “racism” every time someone who isn’t black does something you don’t like. Guess what? Someone might not like you just because you’re a piece of shit and it didn’t occur to them you’re focused on skin color. Stop being a racist piece of shit.

8. STOP MAKING OVER SEASONED FOOD! If your food was flavorful or good to begin with, you wouldn’t have to cover it with more seasoning than a Hindu village! Sometimes french fries taste good simply because they’re french fries!

9. Stop acting like Africa is the greatest place ever and how you’re so proud of it and we’ll all stop telling you to go back to it. If you’re from America, be proud to be an American. You don’t have to fucking claim to be African, especially if you’ve never been and six of your generations were born here.

10. Stop claiming everyone is a redneck. Not everyone is from the south. I’m originally from California. Sure it was southern California, so if anything I’m a wasp, not a redneck. I did my time in the south thanks to the military, and let me tell you, if you even suggest I belong down there in Missouri I’ll break your fucking face. Fuck Missouri.

11. Stop making up names to sound black. Up until the 1970’s those names didn’t exist and they don’t have a real root in African naming…and considering there are around 2000 languages in African, you’d be just as accurate naming yourself Jean Pierre instead of LaNyquil or even Martylenol.

12. Stop “deepest, darkest Africa” a neighborhood and then wonder why people don’t trust you and your demon spawn. You get defensive at everyone when crime goes up because of your extended or immediate family coming in and they’re mad about it. It’s the same situation as when Trayvon Martin went into Andrew Zimmerman’s neighborhood or the Germans went into Poland.

13. Mind your personal space. If you can pick our pocket, you’re too close, and you probably picked our pocket. Prepare to get shot. We carry guns because you steal guns. That and to protect ourselves from the democrats.

14. Stop saying you aren’t as good as everyone else and need special treatment. You are making yourselves victims, and denying that shows how stupid you are.

15. Stop thinking everything belongs to you. Stop stealing our shit. Stop with the drugs. Stop with raping. If you think you don’t, look at the crime statistics, especially in your own neighborhoods where a black man is highly likely to be killed by another black man.

16. Stop thinking the democrats are out to save you. Democrats started Jim Crow laws and fought to keep segregation for a long time. The Klu Klux Klan were founded as a Democrat organization. They keep saying you aren’t good enough and need “white man help”. You’re good enough on your own.

17. Please, for the love of god, use lotion and soap. We can smell you and it looks like you’re trying to salt everything with all the ash.

18. Stop acting like you should go first just because of your skin color and victim mentality. Yeah, we know you do it consciously.

19. Stop having fights at the dining table. The rest of us don’t want to have to kill someone in self defense because you can’t pay the fucking check or refuse to tip. But, since you do number 3, I guess it’s to be expected.

20. Stop throwing the fact your black in everyone’s face. We can see you’re black. Feel like be exclusive? Feel like acting like a retarded moron? We do hate you when you do this #niggernignignig

21. Stop resisting arrest while screaming about racism. Stop looting. Stop all the god damn riots every time a black man gets arrested. I’d say we don’t know where you find the time, but let’s face it, you don’t work.

22. Stop telling us how you can’t be racist. You are. More than most people. We don’t care if you don’t like white people or Chinese people, or even Jews. We get it. You don’t care about anyone who isn’t black. Move on. Grow up.

See? There’s nothing too tough or illogical about this list. This should be taught in elementary school, but according to your mentality and how you act, we’re sure you’d claim it’s too difficult for your negro brains to grasp, making it racist.

Sincerely,

Everyone on the planet.


This is a direct response to a moronic post highlighted by TheSafestSpace on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSafestSpace/status/781616441984479232

23 to life for “Halo” killer (s)

The media titled “Halo Killer”, Daniel Petric, now age 17, has finally been sentenced.  However, the tragic story continues on with its sadness as he is only sentenced to 23 years to life, and the media continues to blame the game Halo 3 for the crime.  I’m going to examine and point out a lot of the holes in this “blame the game” madness.

For those of you not in the know, let me explain what happened.  Daniel Petric (Petric), then 16 years old, was in a severe accident which incapacitated him for months.  Over the course of his incapacitation, Petric played Halo 3 for up to 18 hours a day, even getting so engrossed in the game that he would forget to eat.  After realising the major health issues and mental issues their child was undergoing Susan Petric (S. Petric), his mother, and Mark Petric (M. Petric), his father, took the game away from their child.  Petric became so enraged over having the game taken away from him, that he went into his parents’ room and told them that he had a surprise for them.  Petric instructed his parents to close his eyes, at which point he shot them both.  After the shooting, Petric attempted to make the crime appear as a murder-suicide by placing the gun in his father’s hands.  Petric ran away with the game after the murder.

M. Petric, a minister to his local community, surivived the attack and even defended his son.

——–
I understand that not everyone is a video game fan and there are many people who still don’t know what the game Halo 3 entails.  Allow me to explain the game by first quoting the description listed on a retailer’s website.

The epic saga continues with Halo® 3, the hugely anticipated third chapter in the highly successful and critically acclaimed Halo franchise. Master Chief returns to finish the fight, bringing the epic conflict between the Covenant, the Flood, and the entire human race to a dramatic, pulse-pounding climax. Halo 3 represents the third chapter in the Halo trilogy—an international award-winning action series that grew into a global entertainment phenomenon, selling more than 14.5 million units worldwide, logging more than 650 million hours of multiplayer action on Xbox LIVE®, and spawning action figures, books, a graphic novel, apparel, an upcoming film adaptation, and more.

Now allow me to explain the story of Halo 3.  Halo 3’s story centers on the interstellar war between 26th century humanity, led by the United Nations Space Command, and a collection of alien races known as the Covenant. The player assumes the role of the Master Chief, a cybernetically enhanced supersoldier, as he wages war in defense of humanity, assisted by human Marines as well as an allied alien race called Elites,which is led by the Arbiter.  The plot of Halo 3 has Master Chief fending the Earth off against the Covenant who are looking for an item called “The Ark”.

The entire point of Halo 3 is to protect the Earth and protect humans from alien invaders.  Online multiplayer consists of separate game modes such as Capture the Flag, Slayer (individual aganst everyone) and Team Slayer (team against team)

The point of Capture the Flag is obvious.  It is a team against a team match in which each team is protecting their flag while trying to get the other team’s flag back to their base.

Slayer and Team Slayer pits individuals or or teams against another team in order to score the most points by eliminating the other team’s players.  After an individual is defeated, a timer is set and after the timer reaches zero, the person respawns and rejoins the battle.

——–

Now that everyone is familiar with the game’s plot and story, I can get down to the real meat of this entry.

The (mass majority of) media is dead set on branding Petric as a product of playing violent video games and Halo 3 caused him to shoot his mother and father.  At no point in the game are you tasked to assassinate a member of your family, kill people you are attempting to protect, or kill someone who is not attemtping to end your in-game life.

So, because Petric got upset that they took a video game away, the video game made him kill?

If I’m reading what the Associated Press has been writing correctly, and I know that I am, they are claiming that a game deemed as violent made Petric kill, only he didn’t want to kill anyone before he was not allowed to play it, which makes it the game’s fault…

Now, being that I’m actually intelligent, that doesn’t make any sense to me. Had he been addicted to Barney Hide and Seek Adventure and it was taken away, he’d have killed as well. In other words, Halo 3 didn’t compel Petric to kill, he decided that he was going to kill someone because they took an object he was addicted to away.

Sounds like the kid needs some major therapy and anti-psychotic medicines to me. Honestly, no one plays a game and starts believing there is respawn. I didn’t start thinking a giant gorilla was going to kidnap my girlfriend and throw barrels at me after playing Donkey Kong on my Atari 2600 for so long.

The judge, Lorain County Common Pleas Judge James Burge (Judge Burge), has been quoted as stating, “I feel confident that if there was no such things as violent vidoe games, I wouldn’t know Daniel Petric.”  Judge Burge believes that Petric was not a predator until the attack and blames Halo 3 for Petric’s actions.

Judge Burge needs a reality check. He obviously has absolutely no idea how psychotic addiction and mental instability works. Had Petric constantly been drinking Coca-Cola and suddenly had it taken away, would the judge be claiming, “I feel confident that if there were no such a thing as Coca-Cola, I wouldn’t know Daniel Petric.”? Of course not.

Petric’s laywers claim that Petric had become so addicted and worn down by over exhaustion by playing the game, he could no longer discern the difference between real life and fantasy.  In other words, Petric believed his mother would “respawn” after a set amount of time and because of this, Petric should not be held accountable for his crimes.

I’m going to assume everyone else here is intelligent like me and are laughing at such a statement.  Is it not obvious Petric knew what, at the time, he was doing was wrong and permanent because he attempted to make the scene look like a murder-suicide in order to avoid being convicted of the crime?  Such an act sure sounds like someone who is very coherent at the time of the crime.  If Petric honestly believed the alleged disillusion, why would he have attempted to cover up the crime?  Petric obviously knew what he was doing at the time was wrong.

This is the issue we, as gamers, face…non-education and ignorance of the general public. Don’t worry. As we get older, we get into the jobs where we are in position of power and have a broader understanding.

Now, if we can just get the majority of the media to start real journalism again.


Posted 6/17/2009 at 4:15 PM on Xanga