Little Known Legendary Creatures # 5 – Chihullama

The Noble Chihullma
In the fifth installment of Lesser Known Legendary Creatures we take a look at the noble Chihullama. Of all discussed legendary creatures thus far, this creature is the least remembered and is the origin of how chihuahuas and llamas came into existence as separate creatures.

Where the legend originates is a bit of a mystery. Both the Peruvians and Mexicans have different stories of how the chihullama came to seperate into both the chihuahua and the llama, as well as where the creature was originally.

According to Mexican folklore documented in Libro Tonto de Los Muertos, written by Elver Galarga, the chihullama originated in Mexico and went south to Peru, becoming more of the llama (presented in original as written in Pidgin):

As the creature continued to move painimautim south, parts of the kaikai long belo began to disappear karamapim tok more of the llama began to take over. The large, rough terrain as horrible on the poor chihullama with its short blut i kamap karamapim tok legs. Longer fur karamapim tok wanpela longer blut i kamap was needed to keep the anka moving karamapim tok warm in the colder climates as it moved to the mountainous regions. Over time, balus bamim the llama remained karamapim tok that is why those lusim peruvians have llamas!

The Peruvians believe quite the opposite, feeling that the creature started completely as a llama and began to change into the chihuahua on its way to Mexico. Written in the historical document, Libro Masivo de Criaturas Locas, written by Pachuco Pollito el Hermoso, in the opening message to the reader:

Darlings, what is most important to remember about the chihullama is that it is a transitional creature, much like me. Originally nothing more than a llama, the magnificent creature was nothing more than a llama, but as the terrain changed to be more fit for the dirty, lazy streets of Mexico where it became the chihuahua, forced to hunt mice, sweethearts. Lazy wetbacks changed our noble creature into a street urchin!

Unsurprising, the occult book written by Reginald Scot, titled Demons in the New World, records the creature but in a slightly different light:

Chihullama are less of a demon and more of guiding spirit, helping those who travel up and down the connecting land between North and South America. Originally confined to El Salvador, the spirits were often trapped and taken with merchants to keep them company on the long trips, as well as ward off evil entities such as the El Cucuy and Luz Mala. Adapting to its new environments, the chihullama became smaller and more dog like moving into Mexico and more llama like moving down into Peru. Both people continue to fight over its origins.

Known to have different powers depending on individual creatures itself, the chihullama is the original inspiration for The Little Ponies: Magical Friends. Each chihullama was said to possess one specific power, such as bringing rain, regulating sunshine, and even picking apples.

According to Falsum Libro Daemones, the Even Lesser Key of Solomon the King:

The fifteenth hundred point two spirit is the Chihullama. It is a mighty and noble creature with one of many abilities assigned to it at birth. While one chihullama may regulate the hours of the day, another may deliver mail. Dashing rainbows across the sky may be the signature of one creature, while making sculptures may be another. Each chihullama has but one power it can possess, but that does not limit the amount of creatures which may also have that particular power.

As discussed before, there is some disagreement on where the chihullama originated to become the two creatures we know today, but one thing everyone agrees on is that Central America is where the creature was found in its full chihullama configuration. Because it is a mixture of the chihuahua and the llama, everyone also agrees it lived in more mountainous regions of Central America.

In modern day there have been reports of the creature in Volcán Tajumulco and Montañas Peña Blanca. People claim to see both the mostly black and the brown versions of the creature. Taken from one of the guest logs at the Cerro Chirripó visitor’s station, author unknown:

I couldn’t believe it! There my girlfriend and I were enjoying the view when suddenly the most noble creature I have ever seen came walking out of the tree line below us. At first my girlfriend and I didn’t believe what we were seeing, being that we were stoned out of our mind, but sure enough it was the chihullama! It had a long, shaggy neck like a llama, but the coloring, body, and head of a chihuahua. I’m pretty sure that’s good luck seeing it!!!

Role in Modern Society
There isn’t much role for the creature in modern society as most people are happy with either a chihuahua or a llama. While the creature would be a great source of warmth thanks to a plush, thick coat and be unbelievably adorable, the mixture of a chihuahua barking out of control along with the humming of a llama would be unbearably annoying. Also, because the creature is somewhere between the size of a full grown llama and a chihuahua, it would be impossible to put one in a purse.

For those wishing to see the creature, it is absolutely inadvisable to try mating a llama with a chihuahua! Instead, book a trip to one of Central America’s many famous mountain ranges and believe with all your heart. Llamas like broccoli and chihuahuas actually really like cheese. Just be sure not to present cheese infested with Cheese Goblins. That would just be rude.

Summoning and Spiritual Ranks
There is no known direct method of summoning the chihullama and they may even simply be attracted to a person with enough belief and love in their hearts for the creature.

Rank: Exousia
Sign: 29° – 53.32° Leo (July 23 – July 24)
Time of Day: Midday
Planet: Chiron
Metal: Densinium
Command: 8 Platoons
Tarot Card: Squatting Donkey

Stop supporting illegals! (A blast from the past)

Many years ago I wrote an article on another site and completely forgot about it. Here is that article, updated with images, for your enjoyment.

I think we can deal…

If you went to that immigration protest on Monday, May 01, 2006, while skipping work then have no respect for this country. I had to miss pay because they wanted to protest our RIGHT to deny illegals from working in this country who have no right to be here to begin with. Some people couldn’t go to a store because those people wanted to whine that you or people you know don’t have the right to be here illegally.

What the hell are you thinking? They don’t have a right to be here, so what makes them honestly believe that they have a right to complain? Leave country since you aren’t supposed to be here to begin with and head straight for all those liberal paradises known as Cuba, Brazil, and North Korea.

Don’t be scared, they actually just suck each other off

Now, of course, people have already started complaining when the fact is brought up the protest did nothing more than hurt a few small businesses. Cars were still washed, gas was still pumped, kitchens still served food, lawns were still mowed, accountants still crunched numbers, cops still arrested people, and lawyers still did what they could for their clients. Oh, but how racist of us to point that out

Racist, huh? Guess what? Mexicans are Caucasian. Oh, snap, I am Caucasian! Gee, not so racist anymore, huh? Mexicans, Indians (from India), those who come from Jerusalem, Iraqis, all those other “browns”, and a group in Asia from the Ainu are also all Caucasian. That makes it, you’re right, not racist.

God forbid anyone want people to come into this country LEGALLY. If a person is not here legally, they have no right to work here. Pretty simple, isn’t it? I don’t care if it’s a Mexican, a Welshman, a Brit, or a Korean. If you’re not here right, you don’t belong here. Guess what? That’s the law. A damn good one, I might add.

Still there are those liberals who believe that illegal migrant workers should get special treatment, but apparently only if they aren’t white. When was the last time you heard anyone protesting to help out illegal Welsh, Scottish, British, or German workers? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Those who are here legally and participated in the protest blow my mind as well. After everything they had to do in order to get a citizenship in this country, they want someone to simply enter in without having to do a damn thing. Uh…excuse me? That’s like getting a job that requires a B.A. degree and five year experiences, then protesting that someone still in high school with no training nor experience get the job as well. I do not think so. These people shouldn’t be supporting the measure.

…and drugs

What’s hilarious is that I’m called a fascist for saying what I did and should be strung up for saying it… That, boys and girls, is called an oxymoron. Look it up if you don’t understand the term and I’m sure those who of you who think the way of those idiots, you don’t know what an oxymoron is.

It’s amazing how many ignorant cry babies think they have a valid opinion and the way to start off a debate is, “You fucking faggot!!! How dare you say that?!!?!” There’s a saying, you know, that goes like this: The less understanding one has, the broader the statements made. Well, the flood of debauchery I’m getting is just that.

Have fun in your closed clique group filled with uneducated, ignorant baboons. You have a right to think what you want, but guess what? That right applies to me as well, so you’ll just have to learn how to deal with it.

Lastly, don’t bother with that “t|-|uG £iFè 4EvR” bullshit, either. It doesn’t scare me and never has. I’m from California and that’s the typical attitude with everyone out there, so it’s not like it’s anything new. This is the Internet, dumb ass, and not face to face.

Well, there you have it. As always, I know I blew your mind and you’ve got something to say.

You Just Got Learned!

I know you enjoyed it.

Posted 3/10/2013 at 11:54 PM on Xanga