Understanding the Dangers of Furries – Think of the Children!!!

Mmm *moan* Oh yeah! Look at that anthropomorphic wolf up there. Does that turn you on? Yes? Then congrats…you’re a furry! No? Then, according to the furry community, you’re just a hater and uneducated. It’s time for you to get to know about furries, my dear reader, and think of the children.

People who find animals sexually interesting are known by a few names:

  • Furries
  • Fursons
  • Fur Fags
  • Sick Individuals with a Bestiality Fetish

All of these are fitting. Yes, even the third one. Why? Because the biggest group of people who are into this fetish are homosexual males. That’s not important, though. Why not? Because I’m writing this and I said so!

Here’s a break down on each of those bullet points above:


Furries

fur·ry
/ˈfərē/
noun (informal)
noun: furry; plural noun: furries

1. an enthusiast for animal characters with human characteristics, in particular a person who dresses up in costume as such a character or uses one as an avatar online.

Furries will create and wear costumes in order to live out an anonymous fantasy. You will see them shopping, eating, working, and skipping down the street. Just because they call themselves furries, it does not mean the animal they “become” actually needs to have fur. A subgroup of the furries is the Other Kin members who are sexually attracted to any type of animal, such as sharks or hairless moles.

Most of the community will also engage in massive orgies, known as Yiffing, while wearing the outfits they made. In true hedonism, they will gorge themselves on wine and food before exploding into a flood of ravage sexual acts. If you are in the area when the Yiffing starts, then you will often be pulled into against your will.

Online, you will find communities dedicated to the fetish. Several of these websites are dedicated to hiding the true nature of furries by pretending they are just in it for “escapism” (more on this in Fursons). Nothing could be further from the truth. The furries are known to hijack entire kid friendly programs and turn them into a highly sexualized version targeted to lure in children and groom them to the lifestyle. Of all the examples, the most profound is what they have done to My Little Pony and have called themselves Bronies. Again, the vast majority of the fan base is homosexual males trying to attract underage children.


Fursona

A combination of the word “person” and “furry”. Furries believe a person who wants to be an animal, or feels they are actually an animal trapped in a human body, or just wants to have sex with animals without actually having sex with animals, should be a protected class and another “sexual spectrum”, such as homosexuality. They do this in order to normalize their behavior and groom children.

Expanding on the Furson definition is what’s called a Fursona. The Fursona is what the person becomes, or as they claim “what the person actually is”, when wearing the outfit or engaging in the fetish. This is a combination of the words “persona” and “furry”. Seeing a trend here with the naming scheme they have come up with?

Furries claim this is all nothing more than a form of escapism. A person’s Fursona can be an “on all the time” issue even when not in costume. Because furries believe they really are these animals, they will often behave in the same way, always being their Fursona. You’ll see them chasing cats if they “are” a dog, hissing at dogs if they “are” a cat, or masturbating up to eight hours in one sitting if they “are” a mink.


Fur Fags

As mentioned before, the largest group involved in this fetish is homosexual males. The ratio of homosexual males to the rest of the community currently sits at 9:1, followed by homosexual females at 3:1, bi-sexual sitting at 2.8:1 and heterosexual sitting at 0.3:1. These numbers should come as no surprise to anyone, and is the origin for the term.

A large number of the furry community wear the term Fur Fag as a badge of honor and will identify themselves as such instead of being a furry. Even when being a furry and/or being a homosexual has nothing to do with what is at hand, they will quickly identify themselves as such and make sure you understand being a homosexual and a furry is everything they are. Again, they do this to normalize homosexuality, bestiality, and to groom children.

One of the most famous furry fetish members is known as Sonic Roxy Foxy, real name Damion MacDean. He is a high level fighting video game competitor, and almost always wears his furry costume to the tournaments. When he wins, he throws his controller down and screams, “YOU GOT BEAT BY A FURRY AND A FAGGOT!!!!!” His entire personality is that of a furry and a homosexual. Damion MacDean is pushed by many fighting game communities as someone to look up to, further pushing the agenda on children. The Street Fighter Pro-Tournament, Mortal Kombat World Tournament, and Tekken: Iron Fist Match Makers Tournament all use him as a draw to get people watching.


Sick Individuals with a Bestiality Fetish

As mentioned before, one of the biggest reasons people get into the furry community is to act out ravenous sexual conduct with as many anonymous partners as possible, but that’s not all. The entire community is rife with antisemitism and anti-Christianity ideology. The furry fetish is sick on many levels.

First off, the sexual deviation. Furry conventions are literal breeding grounds. Members show up, start to over indulge in food and alcohol, often large amounts of illicit drugs are used, and entire side rooms are filled with multiple partners having sex with each other with no other attempt at privacy. Since everyone is encouraged to join in at anytime, doors will be left wide open for the viewing pleasure of those walking by.

Bestiality is at the core of it all, as most furries will admit to being unable to find the human form attractive. While they often don’t have a preference for their sexual partner’s costume (being a wolf doesn’t mean they will not have sex with a rabbit, for instance), they simply cannot have sex without the other person being in animal form. Most drawings and photos of furries within their communities, therefore, are done in this way. The front sides of communities are often done in a seemingly family friendly way in order to bait children deeper in their depravity.

Antisemitism runs rampant in the furry community. Often times they will draw their characters in Nazi-esque style outfits when they actually wear clothing. Their favorite stories are claimed to be 1984 and Animal Farm by George Orwell. They do not see those stories as cautionary tales, however, and instead refer to them as “basic guides on how to build an ideal world”. Their favorite documentary/non-fiction is always listed as Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler as well. Most of this is hidden from the direct eyes of the public as they require “initiations” to be part of the deeper community in order to keep out prying eyes.


I hope you certainly have a more detailed understanding to the dangers of furries and will think of the children! I certainly am.


Okay…some of you really need to stop thinking of the children! That’s not what I meant!!!

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Most Dangerous and Dumb Christmas Gifts in 2018

It’s Christmas time once again! Snow is falling. Children are trying their best to be good. Parents are doing their best to beat people to the “must have toy” of the year. And once again W.A.T.C.H. has put out their Christmas list for the most dangerous toys of 2018…but they missed the most obvious ones. Why? Because they’re more concerned with what is going to make the most money and being a hater than actually caring about the children. Why won’t anyone else besides me think of the children!?

If you find any of these under your tree, instantly call child services on Santa.


1. Omega Spay and Neuter Kit: For Science!
This toy comes with multiple clamps, scissors and scalpels. Included are full color detailed instructions on how to spay and neuter multiple kinds of animals. Everything anyone could ever want in order to start performing surgery is included thanks to the “bonus tools” supplied. This is made by the company, Omega, who is responsible for the Planned Parenthood toy line, which includes the “Home Abortion Kit” and “Margaret Sanger with baby karate chopping action”.

I mean, seriously? W.A.T.C.H. puts out a buyer beware over a plastic knife and magnetic fruit, but doesn’t even care about this? Sure the toy line might not be all that popular, given that Planned Parenthood is about killing babies before they can be old enough to play with the toys, but the fact this comes with real metal tools is just a little more than concerning. I can’t even imagine what’s going to happen when the little ones run out of neighborhood pets to have “fun” on. Once they realize the tools work on any and all creatures, there’s sure to be a rash of surprise vasectomy and tubal ligation come New Year’s Day! Nice over look there, W.A.T.C.H!


2. Ariel’s Expression Exercise Pole
“When Ariel lost her voice, she had to find a way to get the Prince to kiss her…and she found a way to do so while earning her keep!” reads the back of the package. This is a regulation sized “exercise pole” and comes with techno remixes of Under The Sea, Kiss the Girl, and Poor Unfortunate Souls, along with eight stacks of hundred dollar bills in order to “make it rain up in here”.

I’m all for women expressing themselves be it in the kitchen or in the bedroom, but this is not an exercise pole. Let’s call it what it is, a dangerous metal rod capable of blunt force trauma and serious fall injuries! There is ZERO safety equipment to keep the little ones from falling as their sliding up and down or spinning around this pole. Adults have the developed muscles in order to make this safer, and sexier, but children do not. This whole thing is a law suit waiting to happen. Let’s hear it for another Disney fuck up.


3. Plasma Blaster 2700
According to the box: You’ll be the talk of the town with your authentic plasma blaster! This bad boy produces enough power to drop any future threat thanks to producing a balmy 57,762,237.76 degrees Kelvin plasma charge. The founding fathers didn’t fight to give you the right to own just muskets and for hunting! Rated ages 5 and up. Brought to you by your friends at the The Oneiroi Collective.

I’m all for having cool weapons, but are five year olds really responsible enough to handle something which produces energy around five tons of TNT? While I’m impressed they were able to get the energy to produce this weapon in such a small device, I just don’t feel that melting your target is great for the environment. Not to mention the replacement cartridges are extremely expensive, and are quite heavy. This should be a pass. Instead, think about getting a laser pointer for the kid and tell them to make “Pew Pew!” noises.


4. Bunny Snapper
We’re supposed to believe this is actually a game for the entire family to enjoy while teaching you to be cautions. What I believe is this toy teaches is distrust of rabbits. Nothing good can come of this and the rabbit is not robust enough for very many plays. The value versus dollar amount here is just not high enough to recommend it.

Probably the worst part of this game is how rusty the trap is. While sharp, the jaws on the trap are also incredibly rusty. I can’t help but feel the manufacturer simply went into the woods and collected a bunch of abandoned traps or even went to an antique store to save money instead of making their own. Tetanus is a real threat and this game is going to lose what fun there is the moment anyone catches it.


5. Cat-apult Ultra 7
Let’s start off with the obvious, shall we? This isn’t a catapult…this is an RPG launcher. That alone is a red flag. I mean, if the manufacturer can’t even tell the difference between a catapult and what is essentially an RPG-7, but for cats, then how do they know safety? Spoiler alert: They don’t and can’t.

Almost everything about this stupid toy is wrong! Not only did they name it wrong, but the images shows the cat getting launched from what should be the back of the launcher! I know some concessions had to be made in order to cram a full grown cat into the thing, but this is an oversight that cannot be ignored. The trigger system is clumsy to use, resulting in firing the furry critters when and where you don’t intend to do so.

We test every toy we review, and let me tell you, I lost count how many cats I slammed into the outside testing fence instead of launching them over it because of the awkward design of this product. Also, anything smaller than a full grown cat isn’t very effecting and can result in injuries and damage to those around you, as well as the toy. Large squirrels work if they are smashed down far enough, as well as larger puppies, such as Labradors, but anything smaller, such as kittens, chihuahuas or even young pugs just don’t work right.


Well, there you have the actual most dangerous and dumb Christmas presents of 2018. I don’t understand how every other watch group out there keeps missing these or just flat out ignoring them. I actually care about people and toys which cause harm, so I will continue to bring these to you as needed. Merry Christmas!!!

Little Known Legendary Creatures #3 – Cheese Goblin

Dreaded Cheese Goblin

In this install of Little Known Legendary Creatures we will be taking a look at the dreaded Cheese Goblin. No creature is more loathed among the French, save for the Vin Fantôme. Unlike the Butt Pirate or even the Buffalo Wing Fairy, the Cheese Goblin is still in the hearts and mind of every Frenchman.


Origin
Tales of the Cheese Goblin come from before written French history and even bear striking resemblance to tales found in Sweden and even found in journals of Austrian cheese makers. With 26% of the cheese in the world produced in America, there are even whispers of the Cheese Goblin making its rounds in the many dairies.

One recorded account by a cheese smelling Frenchman in 1645 had this to say in his diary (translated from French to English):

DAMN IT! Those stupid cheese goblins! They have ruined yet another fine dining experience for my children. We were to dine on fine cheese with rich wine, only to have one of those dreaded devils bite the nose off of my youngest son. My daughter…I am sure she is now pregnant. At least those damn wine phantoms have not defiled my wife with an ostrich feather.

In a more recent account, found in the Cheese Crazy In A Lazy Daze! blog, circa 2004, we find the author, CheeseHunk4197, has this to say in regards to a personal experience:

So, I kid you guys not… There I was, eating some damn good cheese curds up in Oregon, when all of a sudden this…I don’t know…cheese goblin jumps out of some emmental cheese and starts running around! This little bastard started biting the nose off of everyone it came in contact with…blood and screaming everywhere! No one believes me and the news won’t cover it! I REALLY wish I had some pictures of this little bastard. It almost…ALMOST…put me off of cheese!

This proves the Cheese Goblin is alive and well even in America, far away from France.


Powers
No one knows how the Cheese Goblins get into the cheese to begin with. Even in the modern era, there are those who propose the idea of anomalous generation, in which the simple act of making cheese is what brings these creatures into existence.

What we do know of the Cheese Goblin’s powers is that it has the ability to immediately jump out of cheese, usually emmental, such as Swiss cheese, and bite the nose off of the victim. The Cheese Goblin has never been known to eat any other body part, not even fingers, but legend does not say why. Take for instance this account in Reginald Scot’s records, titled Demons in the New World:

Cheese Goblin is a low ranking marques and is extremely ferocious. He is known to rest silently in cheese, usually emmental, but not always, until his victim comes near. Like a snake inside a clay pot, Cheese Goblin then leaps from the delicious snack and bites the nose clean off the face.

He appeareth as though Kermit the Frog had sweaty, gooey, Broke Back Mountain butt sex with one of the gremlins from the movie Gremlins and produced a child. His temper is always raging and his teeth are full of razor sharp daggers, much like the terrible CGI abomination from the Steven King made for TV mini-series The Langoliers.

He understandeth both good and bad cheese, while ruling two legions of divils

According to some lore, the Cheese Goblin has the ability to disappear, while others claim it simply moves at an unbelievable speed making it appear to do so. According to Falsum Libro Daemones, the Even Lesser Key of Solomon the King:

The eitheenth hundred and sixth spirit is the Paneer Bhoot (पनीर भूत). He hides inside hardened dairy, which is pleasing to be placed on a cracker. Waiting for the non-careful to place their face close, it will leap from inside and remove the smelling part of the face. His look is that of a large frog with human hands and feet, with teeth full of swords which interlock perfectly in their spacing. His speed is like that of Barry Allen after getting is powers making it appear as though he turns invisible. He is in control of two legions.


Residence
…it lives in cheese. It’s in the name of the creature! There’s no where else… I mean, every single description talks about it. In the Mertvoye kniga iz Eksperta, author unknown, for instance just says this:

It lives in cheese. Duh!

Not every legendary and/or magical creature lives some place amazing.


Roll in Modern Society
With people on health kicks in the United States, it is unlikely we will see a large resurgence of the Cheese Goblin, which is not necessarily a bad thing. However, for those who work in the industry there is always a chance at glimpsing these creatures.

Those wishing to see one of these legendary creatures would do well to hang out near a dairy or live in a place trying to attract cheese aficionados such as Wisconsin. France is also another place for a good chance to see one in action. Besides, you’d be watching some French bastard get their nose bit off, and who can argue with that?


Protective Wards
One can protect themselves from the Cheese Goblin through simple actions, such as cutting cheese into thin slices before consuming it or even with spells from The Grimoire of Protection: Ulinzi Uhawi, Imamu Jirongo, circa 1975:

Dis is coo mon. Dem deh cheese goblins jerks. To protect yourself, you’ll need a few things. Firstly, get a chicken which isn’t deep friend. Second, get a lot of cow blood…and I mean a LOT of it. Then decorate your place with so many skulls and candles people will think it’s two in the afternoon when it’s midnight. Then for twenty minutes drink rum, spitting it in the air every so often, until you pass out. The Cheese Goblin will be exorcised. See it?

Given the option, it would be best to simply cut the cheese…as it were.


Summoning and Spiritual Rankings
No one knows how the Cheese Goblin is summoned as it always seems to be unintentional and no one in their right mind should seek to find one by getting next to a large slice or even a block of cheese. Do so at your own risk!

Rank: Lesser Marquis
Sign: 4° – 6.1.459° Pices (February 19 – March 20)
Time of Day: Sunrise and Sunset
Planet: Titan (moon)
Metal: Administratium
Command: 2 Legions
Tarot Card: Milked Cow