Character Diary #2 (GTA Online)

Holy warriors doing the Lord's work!
I have found religion. Well, I found it for about six days and then got bored. Still, I believe I now understand what it is that I am: A chosen one by god. How else can you explain my inability to die? I learned I am a holy warrior thanks to my friend Wyldfyre. Turns out…he’s also a chosen one.

So, pretty much, how this all came about was my buddy Wyldfyre calls me and says he wants me to help him “cleanse the unholy” as a “Jesus warrior”. I figure, “Yeah, fuck it, why not?”, because, honestly, why not?

Now, ideally, if you’re going to be a super hero, even one for Christ, you have absolutely need to be dressed correctly. The first place I meet up with Wyldfyre is the clothing shop. “Make sure you look good!” he tells me. We select the best suits we can find, kill the shop owner because they were greedy, and then head over to the barbershop. When we get there, we find another lost lamb. After allowing him to give us our super hero make-up, we try to explain why his life style choice is an affront to the Holy One. Sadly, he didn’t want to listen, so we had to baptize him with our holy rocket launcher. God’s grace kept shining on us! The evil force controlled by the devil was not hunting us at this time, so we were encouraged to continue our divine mission.

Driving down the night streets we looked for other lost souls who we were to save. What luck! Wyldfyre noticed a woman selling her body for money! Wyldfyre did his best to get her to understand her life choice was unclean and how Jesus did not approve. Realizing she wasn’t listening, I had to intervene. See, I can be very persuasive and I knew my diplomatic ways would reach her. Well, they would if she could be saved. The prostitute would hear nothing of the saving grace of Jesus. I knew what I had to do…I removed my blessed blade of righteousness and gut her like a fish. If she wished to be a hand of the devil, he could have her for a face-to-face talk!

Unfortunately, after taking down the dirty whore, I saw I was missing not only my baseball bat, but my crowbar, my axe, and my golf club. Where did they go? I have no idea, but I knew we had to get at least my golf club back. Okay, so we didn’t think about how it was around midnight when we got to the golf course. The positive side to this, however, is we found a lot of midnight golfers… HEATHENS! We made sure to cleanse the filth with molotov cocktails, which Wyldfyre assured me had been blessed by a priest, which made them holy or something.

The devil was now on to us! We heard the screaming of his demons in the distance. Obviously the cops were working as minions of Satan, because if they were under the influence of God, they wouldn’t be attacking us for doing Jesus’ work. If you’re wondering, no, I never did get a new golf club, but that’s fine. We had to get away from these demons. Luckily, Wyldfyre is a great driver, especially in my Zentorno. The cops were rushing us like mad men possessed by the devil…which we knew they were.

With the speed of God’s hand pushing us down the street, we did our best to keep the cops from getting us. I took to shooting out their tires and killing the most foul of them to great effect. The good ones were spared, however, by the grace of God! Nearing the airport, I told Wyldfyre to make his way to the runway so we could get in some planes and fly away like the angels we were. Unfortunately for the demons, they would not give up and sent helicopters our way. Leaning out of the window, I tossed C4 up to them and exploded the charge next to one of the choppers. SUCCESS! The explosion caused one to burst into fire, all demons on board falling to the ground. Before the helicopter blew up, it swerved into a second one and took it out for me. Two helicopters with one C4? Thank you, Jesus!

When we finally made it onto the runway, I could see the airplanes up ahead of us. I instructed Wyldfyre where to go, all the while killing the demon pigs chasing us. Like a mother fucking boss, I stepped out of the car as he pulled a hard turn and immediately began to keep him safe so he could get the airplane started. Seeing my chance, I ran into the passenger seat and Wyldfyre began to take off. “We’re getting out of here, Brother!” Wyldfyre told me. I was looking back, flipping off the cops on the ground, as I said, “Yes! Look to the sk…” As I brought my gaze back forward, a helicopter dropped from the sky and performed a text book kamikaze attack right into our airplane!

After a brief five seconds of darkness, the Good Lord placed us back on Earth in order to continue to do his bidding. Both Wyldfyre and I laughed for about three hours straight over how crazy that cop was. Damn, the devil sure wanted us! Finding a few fat people and killing them for the crime of gluttony and also a few people smoking, we took a car the Holy Spirit wished us to have. Where did we go? Where else? The Rainbow Unicorn, of course!

I didn’t beat around the bush on this one. Before entering, I stabbed the doorman with a broken bottle I found on the ground. Some how everyone inside knew what was coming and they began to charge out of the door, knocking me to the ground. Being the ever ready God Warrior he is, Wyldfyre made sure there was no one surviving this. I managed to put a shotgun into the back of two strippers’ heads and I felt proud. Even with the good work we put in, we were not finished here. I poured gasoline from the entrance into the main room, where I found one patron still cowering. Yes…yes I covered him in gasoline and shot the trail, setting the entire place ablaze, as well as cleansing him in the holy fire. Not surprisingly, the devil was really pissed off and sent his demons after us. Using the enlightenment from the Almighty, Wyldfyre found a way backstage, where we hid. Knowing we were protected, the Great Deceiver gave up after about a minute or so. We walked out knowing we had done God’s work.

After that we decided to run over those who needed to die and made the train smash some cars while we were in them. All in all, a productive time.


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Open letter from Rockstar Games marketing department

As an avid game journalist with one of the highest integrity ratings around, I was privy to receive an open letter to the gaming community from Rockstar Games, written by Take-Two Interactive’s marketing department. While the contents may shock some people, I’m not surprised with the attitude.

Rockstar Games was founded in 1998 to create the most innovative and progressive interactive entertainment, and some people have found ways of cheating in order to ruin the game for everyone else in a server…But it doesn’t matter, because our games are on the cover of multiple magazines and posters. Look how cool our characters from Grand Theft Auto V look holding those guns while surrounded by expensive cars. If you play our game online and give us more real money to afford our expensive virtual items, you’ll be that cool, too. And chicks will dig you.

At Rockstar Games, we allowed you to go online with a bunch of people, just like a bunch of other companies have done, dating back to 1996. However, ours is better, because we charge you astronomical prices for in game items in order to make you buy our Shark Cards. Because you suck, and we hate you.

You gave us $1.8 billion US in three days for Grand Theft Auto V. It may have been buggy, it still doesn’t include half the features we promised, and most of you can’t afford our in game items, but that’s your fault. If you were real fans and real gamers, you would love everything we’ve done to the game and to you. Once again, look at those new items we released in the Flight School update. You know you want those items. If you were a real gamer and a real fan, you would have enough money from grinding every hour of every day, only playing our game, or you’d buy our Shark Cards for $50 US a piece until you could afford it. And by the way, check out those cuts to the jobs we did for doing them fast and efficiently instead of wasting time. If you were really a true gamer and fan, you wouldn’t mind it. Plus, we interviewed 100 people and they all like it without complaining. Real fans would lick our boots clean, give us their entire paycheck, and tell everyone to do the same. If you don’t like it, that’s because you’re not a true fan nor gamer.

By the way, our expensive in game items like the Milijet and Buzzard Attack Chopper, are the bestest things ever, and totally worth the asinine scalped prices, but note that any other company which does this with their games, like Capcom, are commie jerks. Not that it matters, because you bought our game and we want more money from you. Because you suck, and we hate you, but you know you’ll keep coming back, eventually breaking down and buying our Shark Cards. We can continue to beat you down like Chris Brown does to Rhianna, but you’ll come back…you always do.

Buy more Shark Cards or we’ll keep removing your ability to earn money effectively in the game.

Sincerely

Take-Two Interactive Marketing Department by care of Rockstar Games. Because you suck. And we hate you.

Character Diary #1 (GTA Online)

Character Diary #1
Sunrie

My name is Sunrie. That’s all you need to fucking know, you god damn mooks. That’s the name my associates know me as. That’s the name my “employers” know me as. That’s the name the cops call me.

I’m doing this diary thing on advisement from my friend, Wyldfyre. Yeah, just Wyldfyre, deal with it. We’re all in agreement of no real names. It’d be stupid to do that. So, even for this diary, I’m using Sunrie, just in case someone ever finds and reads it.

Los Santos is a really fucked up place, let me tell you. I’m finding lucrative employment, though, so it’s working out. Still, the down swing in the economy means even my employers aren’t paying as much as they used to for a quick job well done. So, I just sit around milking it. The longer I take, the harder they think I worked, so…whatever.

Sorry, I’m new to this diary thing, so I may be rambling on a bit. Fucking sue me, diary, I dare you! Well…anyway…

I guess for my diary entry, I should recap how I met my two friends. Kind of to give you a taste of what my life has become since moving here. Oh, boy has it become something interesting. Not always good, but interesting.

When I first moved here to Los Santos, I didn’t have any real friends. That is, until I met Wyldfyre. I had been here for two months before this strange fucker entered the picture. Now he’s my bestfriend and I’d take a bullet for him. Actually, I have on a few occasions, thanks to him catching the attention of the cops. He’s even responsible for me getting my first hooker. Granted, I killed the bitch and took the money he paid her for servicing me, but whatever.

Then there’s Maximus. Again, just Maximus, so deal with it. If Wyldfyre is strange, Maximus is fucking insane. I don’t just mean crazy, I mean fucking insane. He’s a wildcard, period. Tell him to do something, and he may just ignore it and turn everything to shit on purpose.

For instance, Wyldfyre and I were showing Maximus around town since he had just arrived. Maximus was strapped for cash and the best way to get it is to steal it. Since the armored cars around the area were running dry, we decided to hit up a little road side store off the highway. Normally we go in, scare the clerk out of all his money, and then run away in a chopper we stole. Yeah, it is kind of strange no one thinks anything of three guys in a helicopter landing outside of a liquor store wearing masks, but…whatever…as I said, this place is fucked up. So I tell Maximus our plan: Go in, scream at the clerk while waving guns, then escape for fun and profit. He assures me he understands. Hell, even Wyldfyre believed him. We didn’t want any bloodshed, because the cops in Los Santos are fucking vicious assholes. The punishment for bumping into someone? Shot to death. The punishment for clipping their car? Shot to death. Every crime in this state is a god damn death sentence! The last thing we wanted was to have a bunch of cops chasing us in the helicopters. With everyone saying they were ready, I walked in totally casual. I asked the clerk how his day was going and then sprung my attack! The clerk put his hands in the air, telling me he was doing it as fast as he could, but I knew he was lying! Wyldfyre started screaming to do it faster when we heard a loud gun shot come from behind us. The clerk slammed against the wall in a bloody mess while Maximus just laughed. God damn that psycho! We didn’t even have the money yet, so I had to jump behind the counter and empty the register. The entire time I was doing this, Wyldfyre started laughing at whatever Maximus was saying, but I was too pissed off to listen. I screamed for everyone to get to the chopper as the cops were closing in. Jumping into the pilot seat, I started the engine and began the take off procedures when I heard Wyldfyre ask, “Uh, Max? What are you doi….OH GOD TAKE OFF!!!!” Not asking questions, I slammed the chopper into full power and began my ascent. Looking backward, I could see a grenade roll towards the gas pumps at the perfect moments the cops were rolling up. “I AM A VATO, BITCHES!” Maximus screamed. I can’t blame him for the shout out…we were the Vato Loco Gang, after all.

Thanks to my awesome chopper skills, I avoided the debris flying through the air, along with several cop bodies. If they weren’t pissed off before,t hey were now! I would say, on a scale of zero to five, with five being the most pissed off, they were a four. Making sure the throttle was cranked as high as it could go, I pushed forward on the stick to get our ass out of there. Suddenly, a bright spot light all but blinded me as the police helicopters circled in. Two of them! This wasn’t going to be easy, but with my skills, I knew I had a good chance to out fly them.

I told everyone to hang on as I was going to try some serious shit to get away. That’s when I heard gun fire coming from the back of the chopper. Yeah, Maximus was shooting at the cops with a god damn pistol as they chased us in a helicopter! It’s like he just wanted to get us put into the hospital. That shit is more expensive than the money we just took, plus we’d lose all the money we just got if we did! Wyldfyre’s laughing his ass off, which caused me to start laughing my ass off as we dove beneath bridges, hard cut around buildings and were trying to get away. Of course, every gun shot from Maximus let them know where we were, so it wasn’t going so well. To make matters worse, I noticed the engine was smoking like crazy. The helicopter was shaking like a baby in the hands of a British nanny and the alarms were going off. “Shit, shit, shit!” I screamed out to them, “Hold on! We’re going down, buddy!” Sure enough, the engine quickly cut power as we rounded a building, dropping us like a rock. By the hand of God or Buddha, the helicopter lifted up once more as we neared Vinewood Hills. Managing to put the chopper down, I screamed for everyone to run separate directions to distract the cops. Wyldyfre took off and so did I, but what did Maximus do? He followed me, randomly shooting pedestrians and cops alike! Okay, I thought that WAS pretty funny and it did give us a chance to steal a cop car.

I told Maximus I would drive since he drove like shit, and we began our get away. They damn cops were on us like stink on diarrhea. Every time I’d think we’d broken their sight of us, either Maximus would kill someone or the choppers would find us. Deciding there was nothing I could do about Maximus, I began to run people over for fun in the cop car. Wyldfyre, in touch with us through our headsets, kept screaming how the cops were on his ass, and his car was taking a harder pounding than a porn star. His words, not mine. Seeing a possibility for escape, I jumped the car into one of the many underground tunnels and begged Maximus to just stay quiet. Thank god he did because we lost the cops. The next thing I know, I hear Wyldfyre begging for help because he could only drive in reverse due to the damage on his car. I began to make my way out to him, but…I kind of got the car stuck in the tunnel. Just…don’t ask…it was wet, slippery and…well…it got stuck.

Maxiums told me to hang on and he’d help out. His idea of help? He stole a car and proceeded to try ramming me out of the ditch. Did it work? Well, if his intention was to get another car stuck, then yes. Getting out of the car and trying to figure out what to do next, Wyldfyre’s voice crackled over the headset like a madman. He was laughing his ass off how he just outran the cops, who were like a four out of five pissed off, in reverse with nothing more than a pistol and that fucked up car! Yeah, I don’t know how he did it, either! We are talking about the guy who would later shoot a chopper out of the sky with a pistol and another time with a musket so…whatever.

I split up our take and Maximus, the unbelievable psycho he is, wanted to hit another store. So…of course we did. After I stole another chopper, though.

So, there you go, diary, my first entry. I’ll write more in you from time to time as things happen.


Just check out these reviews for Sunrie’s WordPress site:

“He’s…maybe not a racist!” – User13277

“WTF?!” – Wyldfyre

“Seriously? Why do you write this? I mean, really? That picture, too? Did you really need that, babe? That’s disgusting…No. No! God damn it, stop typing what I’m saying!” – Sunrie’s Wife

“Your father and I did our best.” – Sunrie’s Mother

If those aren’t endorsements, I don’t know what is!

Rockstar Games announces GTA Online Realism update!


Grand Theft Auto has gained a reputation as being an incredible open world sand box game ever since the GTA 3. Some of the more recent games, however, haven’t been without their critics and problems, but things are beginning to smooth out. With the release of GTA V’s online mode, Rockstar Games has bombarded players with constant updates and new content in order to have even more fun. Rockstar Games has been relying on fans for making content and they have once again listened to complaints…but is it going to be fun?

While there has been a very vocal minority over how “too realsitic” GTA has become, most people felt the added realism made the experience that much more immersive. True the police online are extremely too aggressive and the low amounts of money given to players for doing odd jobs is laughable, however, everything else in the online mode has been extremely fun. Singleplayer is great for the story, and online is the best place to mess around with friends.

Unfortunately, things look like they’re about to take a step backwards in the fun department and further real players back from causing destruction. Rockstar Games has introduced their “Realism Update”, part of their on-going free expansion packs in the vain of Beach Bum and High Life. As a gamer myself, I don’t agree with the changes they are introducing. Here’s the changes coming to GTA Online.


Neighbors

  • Other players and NPC’s can now be seen roaming the hallways of your condos.
  • Players without condos and have houses instead should be mindful of closing their blinds in rooms while changing, else others can watch them and take pictures.
  • NPC’s and other players can call the police to register noise complaints against you. Be mindful how loud your TV and radio systems are, and don’t go running around your condo all the time. You have to be respectful to others!

 
 

Equal Rights

  • Players will have the ability to choose LBGT for their characters.
  • Players with LBGT selected will have to “live the lifestyle” by getting married to another LBGT character of the same sex. Every three in-game days, the LBGT characters must engage in some LBGT action or they will be flagged as pretenders.
  • Any player caught assaulting another character with the LBGT selected will get themselves a hate crime marker.
  • Players pretending to be LBGT in order to by-pass the hate crime markers will be flagged.
  • After three flags and/or hate crime markers, the player will be placed into a “Tolerance Server” and will only be able to play with LBGT NPC’s. If the player does not harm the NPC’s over the course of one real week, they will be once again allowed to participate in regular servers. This temporary ban is account wide.
  • If the player continues to hurt the NPC’s, they will be warned their continued actions will result in their account permanently tied to the “Tolerance Server” and never be allowed to play on other servers. Additionally, their account information will be turned over to the NSA, NAACP, and other groups for monitoring and shaming.

 
 
Taxes

  • Once every in-game year the player will be responsible for filing taxes.
  • Players are encouraged to keep track of their dealings on missions and other events in order to file correctly.
  • Failing to file the proper taxes will results in a raid on your properties.

 
 

Brady Checks and cooling off periods required on all firearm purchases

  • Because guns are bad, scary, kill people, and we must protect the children, players must perform a background check on all firearm purchases in-game.
  • A mandatory “cooling off” period of 10 in-game days is required before the check is performed.
  • After the 10 in-game cooling off period is complete, the FIB/Agency will then have up to three further in-game days to approve or deny your firearm purchase.
  • Be careful of your character names, as a similar name to another player with a criminal record may cause you to be delayed.
  • Characters which have a criminal record will no longer be able to purchase a firearm in the Ammu-Nation stores and must find them on the street.
  • If a character with a criminal record does attempt to purchase a firearm at Ammu-Nation and they are denied, an instant three star wanted level will occur. Even if the stars are out run, the characters will continue to be hunted by police and chased on sight until they are wasted by the police or FIB. Please keep in mind, other players killing you will not cause your character to lose the three star wanted level nor the police tracking.

 
 
Chocolatotaco

  • The Chocolatotaco is now available for player consumption.
  • Eating of the Chocolatotaco will slightly decrease the user’s stamina. This is to help the players make better choices for their in-game snacks.
  • Thank you, Michelle Obama!

 
 

In-game licensed products

  • Rockstar Games is proud to announce real life products will be available for purchase in-game!
  • The first available will be with the glorious and perfect Starbucks® with many more to follow.
  • All Bean Machine coffee stores and cups will now be retrofit with Starbucks® for players to enjoy.
  • Keep in mind the prices of all Starbucks® beverages will be adjusted accordingly with real-life to GTA$ conversion. A small in-game beverage will cost the player GTA$10. Pricing will be available for all others in-game.
  • Players will have the ability to make their order as simple or complicated as they wish, so remember your wait time behind another character will vary greatly. This is especially true if the NPC or player is highly demanding in the exact specifications of their perfect, glorious Starbucks® beverage.

 
 

Objectivity

  • All women will now be topless.
  • All men will now be bottomless.

Well, there you guys have it. Those are the new “Realism Update” patch notes. I don’t know if most of those are going to be good for the game or not. Personally, I don’t think they are. I mean…do I really want to run around with my dork hanging out all the time. Okay…so that’s a resounding, “YES!!!!!“, but still…

Why Grand Theft Auto Takes Place in the Cities it Does

Grand Theft Auto stands as one of the greatest franchises in the video game industry.  The open world format was introduced to most of us through the series, even though it wasn’t necessarily the first to use the formula.  Over the years, the series has grown and even matured more than many others.

What makes the game so great?  Besides the almost unbridled ability to do what you want whenever you want, it’s the sense of power you have as a character.  Most of the time, said power has to do with being able to rain down destruction on the numerous NPCs which litter the landscape using the obscene amount of weapons available.

Think about that…  Your enjoyment of the game comes from your sense of freedom and power.  How do you feel that freedom and power?  You have weapons which you can unleash on the populace at any time, with the only real worry being other criminal organizations or law enforcement there to “spoil” your fun.  I mean, really, the only ones in these games are generally criminals and law enforcement who use weapons, aside from the player.

This is why the games take place in the cities in which they do.  What cities are we talking about here?  Well, the games are based off of Los Angeles, San Francisco, London, New York, New Jersey and Miami in the 1980’s.

I know what you’re thinking. “No shit, Sunrie.  Everyone knows that!”  Pay attention, idiot, because I’m about to blow your tiny little mind with this.  What do all of these cities have in common?  They are pinnacles of the gun control world.  Why is this important?  For the reason why I stated you feel powerful in these games.  After all, you cannot have the player feel powerful and free to do what they wish if every five seconds someone will take them out for opening fire on an unarmed pedestrian.

I’ve seen people making suggestions to put the GTA games in places like Texas or Colorado.  This will never, ever, happen.  Why?  Because here in Colorado we have open carry rights and a shall issue for concealed permits.  You cannot put a GTA game here in Colorado, because if you pull out a gun in the game to cause problems, chances are, you’re going to have people pulling their guns on your ass to take you down.  Same goes in Texas, though they do not have open carry rights.  Want to see the games make a return to Vice City?  Fat chance!  Florida has the excellent “Stand Your Ground” laws, in which shit buckets such as Trayvon Martin get what they deserve.

Rockstar attempts to counter the player by adding law enforcement every ten feet in their games instead of having a rash of armed citizens with open or concealed carry.  This prevents you from feeling unstoppable, but still gives you the ability to take out the random NPCs at will with little chance they will take you down in return.  What Rockstar is really saying in these games with this method is exactly what the sheep liberals and power hungry politicians are saying, “The people have no power, and so the ‘law’ is there to respond to their plights.  Those who are important have the rights to be protected, but the ‘common rabble’ do not.”

Bad news for all of you brain dead, anti-Constitutional morons out there who don’t understand why firearms are important to your own protection: The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled law enforcement has zero responsibility to save your life.  Law enforcement is there to enforce the law, not protect the people.  When was the last time you actually saw “To Serve and Protect” on a police car?  Probably early eighties, wasn’t it?

Along the same lines as GTA is Red Dead Redemption.  Ah, yes, RDR…taking everything which was started in GTA and perfected!  The world felt larger, there was more going on, and who doesn’t like a tragic western?  Your argument up to this point may have been, “Well, didn’t RDR take place in New Austin, which is modeled after Texas? Proves you wrong!’

Incorrect in said argument and for good reason!  Red Dead Redemption may take place in a Texas style area, but at no time do you really have the feeling of ultimate power as you do in the GTA games.  To give you a sense of overwhelming power, the game has “dead eye”, but limits the ability to use it.  Almost every NPC in the game is armed and does what they can to take you out if you do something wrong.  Hell, even just pointing a gun at someone for a second or two will get you shot at by another NPC, and then have the NPC you drew your weapon on attack you.

The only two places in the game which aren’t held to the same mechanics are Thieves Landing and Blackwater.  Thieves Landing has no law enforcement and the citizens of the town are much more lenient, only firing when fired upon.  Blackwater is as close to a big city as you will find in the game, and the citizens are generally as neutered as common big cities; Relying on the local law enforcement to end a menace instead of doing so themselves.  It is easily the best town to take out civilians without them shooting back!

Soon the new Grand Theft Auto game will be released.  Will it be good?  Hell yes it will be.  Once again we’re taken back to San Andreas and the game mechanics have been reworked one more time.  The changes look positive and fun.

One of the mechanics is the ability to do missions in different play styles.  Do you want to sneak or be loud?  Do you want to go in with a full team or try to run a skeleton crew for a bigger take?  All of that sounds freaking awesome to me.  We’re also given the ability to customize not only the characters and cars, but weapons, too!

Yes, I got a little side tracked on how awesome this game will be, so what?   If you made it this far, good for you.  This game wouldn’t work anywhere other than coming back to San Andreas since we’re kind of sick of Liberty City and Rockstar cannot send the game back to Vice City due to “shall issue” laws in Florida for concealed weapons and their kick ass “Stand Your Ground” statutes.  No…in California, you have a responsibility to flee and there is no Castle Doctrine to worry about, so the player can have that unbridled power and freedom they have gotten used to.

While I’d love to see a GTA game in a Denver style setting or even a modern Austin, it just will never happen.  The citizenry has too much power in those areas, and you cannot have that if you’re going to have a player feel powerful by only allowing law enforcement and criminals to have the guns.

Remember, you’re never really a good guy in the GTA games.  When guns are outlawed, only the outlaws will have guns!  That is absolutely necessary for a Grand Theft Auto game and it will never change.

Liberty City Police Report 2008-5782

Liberty City Police Department
Case Narrative
2008-5782

Officer Schmoe ReportingNarrative:
On 07-10-08, at approximately 1300 hours, I was on routine motor patrol around Meadows Park, located in the Broker Division, Liberty City, Liberty State, when I saw a white male, approximately 5’11”, brown hair, brown eyes, wearing a brown jacket, black fingerless gloves, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes, fire approximately five shots with a pistol striking a pedestrian in the torso and face.

Using the PA system on my marked patrol vehicle, I immediately ordered the suspect to drop the weapon and place his hands in the air.  After announcing myself, I radioed for assistance.

The suspect ignored my orders, so I positioned my marked patrol vehicle next to a telephone pole and took cover behind my car door.  I shouted for the suspect to drop his weapon, but I was once again ignored.  Without an explanation, the suspect placed the pistol in his jacket and was then armed with a high powered, rapid fire automatic rifle.

At this time, my back up was arriving, but I did not have time to warn them.  I took my shotgun out of my patrol vehicle and dove for cover behind my trunk.  The suspect began shooting repeatedly at the arriving officers and myself.  The moment I had a pause in the gun fight, I moved into a position of fire and shot the suspect three times, striking him in the lower extremities.

The suspect did not stop, and instead began to run on foot while continuing to reload his automatic weapon.  Once again I radioed for assistance, and I was notified a helicopter would be sent to my location.

I got back into my patrol car and began to chase the suspect east on Tudor Street.  Once at the intersection of Tudor Street and Cleves Avenue, the suspect forced a driver out of her red Sultan and drove south on Cleves Avenue.

For officer safety, I stayed approximately four car lengths behind the suspect.  As I followed the driver to the intersection of Cleves Avenue and Carrollton Street, the suspect began to shoot at my patrol vehicle, striking it several times in the hood and windshield.  The suspect turned west on to Carrollton Street.

The suspect continued to shoot at my patrol vehicle as I followed him south on Seymour Avenue, west on Howard Street, and north on Stillwater Avenue.  While west on Howard Street, the suspect began to shoot pedestrians.  The suspect shot at ten pedestrians, all of whom I saw drop to the ground.  While north on Stillwater Avenue, the suspect never slowed down for and ran over six pedestrians, all of whom I never saw get back up.

As I followed the suspect to the intersection of Stillwater Avenue and Walton Lane, the helicopter arrived with aerial fire support (please see supplemental report from helicopter support team for more information).  When the suspect turned west on to Walton Lane, his vehicle caught fire and he jumped from the vehicle while it was still moving.

After the suspect came to a full and complete stop on the ground, officers from the NOOSE Team arrived on scene as support units in marked NOOSE vans (please see supplemental report from NOOSE Team for more information).  I saw the suspect stand up.  I could see the suspect was bleeding heavily and he was limping.  The suspect vehicle continued into a crowd, which had gathered to witness the chase, and exploded.  I saw fifteen pedestrians fly into the air and land with audible noises.  I did not see any pedestrian stand back up and all had dropped the money they had been carrying on to the ground.

The suspect took a position of cover behind a tree, so I moved forward and took a position of cover behind a group of Liberty City trash bins which had been knocked into the street due to the explosion.  Myself and my cover officers exchanged numerous rounds of shots with the suspect.  I saw the suspect place the high powered, automatic rifle into his coat and he rearmed himself with an RPG-7, without explanation.

Seeing the rocket propelled grenade launcher, I immediately moved from my position to a position further away behind a brick wall.  Peering around the corner, I saw the suspect fire the RPG-7 into the crowded group of NOOSE vans.  The NOOSE vans exploded, and I saw eight NOOSE Team members fly into the air.  Each NOOSE Team member landed with an audible noise and they dropped the weapons they were carrying.  I did not see any NOOSE Team member stand back up.

The suspect then fired the RPG-7 in my direction, but missed me due to a taxi driving at a high rate of speed directly through the line of fire.  The taxi exploded, and the driver ran from the vehicle on fire.  The driver ran for several seconds, screaming for help, until he finally fell to the ground.  I did not see the driver stand back up and he dropped the money he was carrying on to the ground.

As I stepped slightly from my position and shot at the suspect, my bullets were blocked by a fire truck from the Liberty City Fire Department which drove into the line of fire and pulled up to the taxi, which was still on fire.  As the fire truck began to put out the flames, I saw the fire truck explode, assuredly from an RPG-7 strike.

As I regained my view of the suspect, I saw him aim the RPG-7 at the helicopter and shoot.  The rocket propelled grenade swerved at the last moment, narrowly missing the helicopter.  I fired three times, striking the suspect in the back.  The suspect did not stop and I returned to my position of cover to reload.

As I was reloading, I heard sirens from an ambulance.  From my position of cover, I watched as the ambulance drove past my location and I heard an explosion.  I was nearly struck by the hood of the ambulance as it bounced off the wall of the building directly behind me.

I came out of my position of cover in order to shoot the suspect once again, but I could not find him.  I immediately set up a small perimeter in order to locate the suspect.  All officers were unsuccessful in locating the suspect.

The coroner was advised and arrived at approximately 1523 hours.

Additional:
After fifteen seconds an officer at the intersection of Hewes Street and the Dukes Bay Bridge reported seeing a driver of a yellow Infernus matching the description of the suspect.  The officer was advised said person could not be the suspect because the driver was outside the perimeter area.

Case handed to detectives.

All monies dropped by killed pedestrians is unaccounted for.

Please see supplemental reports from NOOSE Team and Helicopter Support Team.

Attachments:
None.

J. Schmoe #221
07-10-08

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Posted 7/10/2008 at 2:47 AM on XANGA