How People are Finding my Entries Part 2 (s)(t)

So, quite some time ago I wrote about how people were finding my entires. Some of them were…frightening to say the least. Again, I love people finding my writings. Really, I do. If I didn’t, I shouldn’t be writing. It’s just…for fuck’s sake, people. What is wrong with you?

Once again, here’s how people have been finding my site…lord have mercy…

kau injak, aku diam kau gauli, aku diam kau rampas, aku masih diam kau hancurkan sampai ulu hati, hanya ada geming tersisa when u destroy me, u kill yourself in the first place.
What the shit? I have no idea what the hell any of this is supposed to be. When I ran the search in Google, my writings didn’t even come up. It has to do with some scare tactic bullshit, worse than the Weather Channel, claiming video games are telling your children to kill themselves. They aren’t. I am, though.

how to be professional in mortal kombat
Nothing on my site is going to tell you how to actually do this. However, this makes sense because of my fake entry New Professional Mortal Kombat 9 Tournament Rules

it’s already valentine’s day and i dont know what to get myself yet

How about cyanide and a nice cold drink, you loser? Seriously, wtf? Now you’re supposed to get yourself something for Valentine’s Day? Please tell me this isn’t something actually happening!


No, really, that’s all they searched for and found me. I have no idea why…

sieg fuck

*blink blink* Uhm…okay, sure thing there, buddy. I went ten pages deep in the searches in Google and never came up with my site. I have no idea how deep I’m buried. I can only imagine this is some how in reference to my Psychology Is Junk Science article. That…or someone is REALLY into Nazi porn.

do guys like donkey punching?

Are they asking because they want to know if it’s something they should be used to, something to expect, or something they want to try? My mind is going a mile a minute trying to comprehend this one. I mean, the answer is YES to all of those, but I like to know the finer details such as, “Do you mind if it’s an all knuckles punch?”

how to fuck your employer

Usually just bringing it up in conversation works. You can always just start off slowly with a casual date and feel it out. If that doesn’t work, a brick to the back of the head works. If it’s a guy, the brick still works if you hit them hard enough to ensure an priapism.

redmist entj kickass

What? That illustrated novel and so-so movie? What?

red hair bitch backside

Just the backside? If so, then what does the red hair have to do with it? I know I’m on the internet and there are some really specific fetishes out there, but this one is oddly specific and not in a fun way. Just a…that’s boring kind of way.

sorry i only post about my daughter

…go on… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ziggy grover gay fanfiction

Okay, so I wrote a few fake really bad fan fiction about Power Rangers, which I’m probably going to conclude with one more entry, but in no way was the Ziggy Grover character I had in the stories gay. Besides that, why the fuck? This person was looking for this unironically I guarantee it.

brittany blue preggo


I’m not on the deep nor the dark web, you morons. Though, I seriously doubt whoever this was either heard about it and thought that’s how you type it in without using an onion router or…they’re just that far too stupid. I’m going with the latter, unfortunately.

how to tell your employer to fuck off and let me shit

Personally? I’d take them out to a nice lunch. You know, one with candles and Italian food. I’d stroke their hand, laugh at their jokes, and bring it up as part of a natural flow in the conversation. On the other hand, you could always just do it like you stated the search query.

fuckdoll faggot makeup


boss forcly fucking his employer

Again, you people have some really specific fetishes. I’m sure there’s plenty of clearnet porn out there with this. What it has to do with me? I don’t know exactly, though. Good lord…

hitler south park fags

This…this was something someone looked up in their spare time. I’m picturing this dumb ass sitting there expecting some great revelation only to find them saying things on the show and being so mad they masturbate to pictures of their own anus for hours.

love guru how to press a girl boobs when we meet

If I may? I’d start with “Hello”.

stop bullying, your giving a shit!

Is this like “taking the piss”, but far, far more stupid a phrase? That’s cultural appropriation, and that’s wrong. It’s not, but…whatever.

“wolfman” “douche nozzle”

Again, why is this a thing being looked for? I’m not even going to bother trying to find out where I fall in the search results. You can do it yourselves.

telepathic cat siggy creepypasta

How…why…I don’t even…

employer boss come at dinner to his employer and fucking wifevidos

This can’t get any stranger…

soda show webcam????????????? no no no … not me :3 she sexy more than me :d

I can’t do this anymore…I’m fucking done…

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go scrub my eyes and brain with Drain-O….fuck….

Black and White 3 Beta review

Not long ago I, along with about two thousand other gamers, were invited by Lionhead Studios to try out their beta for Black and White 3: Of Gods and Devils! Finally, it’s coming!!! It’s been an ungodly (see what I did there?) amount of time since Black and White 2 and we’ve been wanting it. Here are my first impressions thus far.

I’m only allowed to post up my thoughts and opinions due to the non-disclosure agreements. Sorry, I don’t have screen shots nor video footage to show you. Don’t want to get not get beta keys in the future, after all.

OS – Windows XP/7/8 (Service pack 7.2 or higher)
Processor – Intel i5 (compatible with iMac) or higher
Memory – 4 GB SD DDR3 Ram or higher
Hard Drive – 46.2 GB of available space
Disk Drive – Blue Ray (PC 5 disk CD-ROM version also available in USA)
Video Card – NVidia GeForce GTX 645 or higher
Sound Card – DirectX or compatible
DirectX – Version 12.6 c
Input – Keyboard, Mouse, Vibrator (special third party attachment)

The first part of the game is no different from that of the original two games. However, when you enter into your realm, instead of a huge hand, you’re a strange, big figure wearing a red dress. I don’t know what the fuck Lionhead Studios was thinking adding that in… It doesn’t make me feel godly at all!

After showing up to your people, you instantly hear them bitching and moaning about all kinds of things they really don’t need. Yeah, I know that you play a God and all, but these people do nothing to help themselves. Of course, this is just a gimmick in order to show off all the new stuff in the game. These include fast food, welfare, war and the “baby daddy clinic” where you send off all the little sluts who get knocked up! Places such as the “baby daddy clinic” and the welfare are selected using the “Minority Build” in the toolbar. This is a good thing, since you will have to put into play your “Race Card”. Yes, that’s right, you get to make your own collections of people. Either have them fight it out or live in harmony.

The name of the game is to take towns, feed your people, listen to them bitch, or just generally kill them off. After all, if you kill everyone off, you can just create more people. You ARE a god, after all. That is the best addition to the game thus far.

Well the story is nothing short of plain and simple. You’re a god. Piss people off, or make them love you. There are a few new and great things in the game, as I may of mentioned already.

Game Play
This time around, you must get new followers. It’s simple: take towns! I mean…seriously…thats it! Oh, you do eventually get a creature that just tries to eat and hump on everything. You can choose from a dog, a cow, a monkey or what I refer to as “Obama” (donkey).

Quick Tip: Don’t choose Obama! He’s dumber then any of the other creatures. Seriously, he’s mostly worthless for everything. If you’re interested in hearing a lot of chatter, then go ahead and choose him. Still, he says a lot of bullshit, but doesn’t really do anything he says he will. It is entertaining to hear him blame everyone else for messing up, though.

Oh yeah! How could I almost forget about your “Conscience”? I have to admit, it’s a great addition to the system. The “bad guy” is a fat, red, little demon with massive, and I do mean massive, nipples. He’s freaking HILARIOUS! The “good guy” is kind of a slow talking, mumbling creature with wings who keeps referring to you as, “God, dude.” I cannot confirm it, but I swear he’s voiced by Pablo Francisco, since he will repeatedly say something and follow it up with, “Boo boo!” and sounds like Droopy. After the first five or so cut-scenes involving these guys, you’ll just love to smack around the “good guy” and hump him until the until knows you’re the alpha dog!

Alright if you like Command and Conquer type games. Everything takes place in this 3D world, but when you leave the mouse sitting, it defaults to this awkward 3/4 overhead view…

The graphics themselves are really strange. So far people have tried everything from realistic looking to “manga” style. This game introduces what can only be described as paper mache style. The animation at first looks choppy because of this, but truth be told, I think it’s just strangely done on purpose. If you’ve ever seen 1985 stop motion animation called The Adventures of Mark Twain you’ll understand what I mean about it.

The sound is pretty interesting since the graphics don’t really seem to be state of the art. I guess Lionhead spent ALL their money in the music. It is extremely awesome!

No, seriously, I mean it will literally blow you out of your seat and give you a BJ! The sounds are too good for words. Its almost like you’re sitting in a THX movie theatre instead of right in front of your PS4!

Final Thoughts
If you like pissing people off and just generally wrecking or dancing around as, what I assume was, Bill Clinton in a dress, then this game’s for you. Perfect for the atheist and liberal, but terrible if you have a mind of your own.

You want to complain about MY computer?! (s)

Where I’m staying, they are selling their house.  I rent the apartment that’s downstairs and it’s nice.  Not as nice as the place I’m looking to buy, but it’s nice enough for a bachelor like me.  However, it is annoying as all hell when there’s a showing.

I generally get one day off a week.  Yes, one fucking day.  I’m basically working Japanese hours without the pay.  It’s like these morons know what day I’m off and decide to do house showings all day on that one day of the week.  Not only do I have to get up early to get the place looking like a god damn “sparkle magic fairy tale”, but I don’t generally have anywhere to go during the day while it’s going on.

Now, here’s the kicker…I know these jack offs are going to be looking through the entire house, including my closet space and cabinets.  No big deal, really.  What pisses me off, are the ones who I know go through my laundry drawers and other private areas.

NEWS FLASH MORONS!  The furniture and clothing are not included with the house!!!!!  There is NO REASON for you to go through my rolling computer cabinet!!!!  There’s also no reason to see what’s on my god damn desktop.

This brings up my point for the article.  I know that some people have been dicking around a bit on my computer, even if just clicking on things, the few times I’ve left it on to run updates or scans.  So, what was my solution?  When you move my mouse, this image pops up asking for a password:

Now, I know what you’re asking, “How do you know anyone has been on your computer?”  Well, aside from icons I didn’t click moved slightly and highlighted, I got a conversation from the home owner about what was left in the house review.  Namely, “Disturbing and offensive images on computer screen. Potential buyer extremely put off.  Had children with them.”

Hey, guess what?  Don’t fucking touch my god damn computer!  You aren’t here to buy my computer system.  Even if you were, I’d show you more bad ass stuff like that just to prove how manly my computer is.

Oh, so some of you bleeding heart pansies are thinking that I just had it displayed, are you?  Guess what, all you lowest common denominators?  Not only was my system in power save mode (the screen goes black, you retards), but I had the power to the monitor OFF.

Not only did the asshole have to jiggle my mouse, but they had to turn the god damn screen on as well!

Hey, asshole!  Remember what they said happened to the cat and remember what happened to Goldilocks?  Yeah, I will eat your fucking face and kill you.

Stay the hell out of people’s personal items when you’re house hunting, or else you may learn something about the you didn’t want to know.  I think I’ll drop a dead cat in one of my empty boxes next.

Posted 1/14/2010 at 4:46 PM on Xanga