WTF is wrong with you Colorado people and directions?!

Okay, I have to ask..what is it with people in Colorado that makes them give the absolutely worst directions…ever? I’ve never heard of people giving these types of directions in my life…

Okay, seriously, I’m sick and tired of being told to turn “east”, “west”, “south”, or “north”. What ever happened to turning LEFT or RIGHT?! I don’t have a freaking compass in my car and I’m not a bird. I have a good sense of direction, but I can’t be bothered to figure out navigational points while I’m trying to find a location.

It’s not just people…it’s directions off of the Internet, too! MapQuest…Yahoo Maps…it doesn’t matter. Why? Because the directions are added by people who live in Colorado…and since they can’t give directions as it is, everyone is screwed.

Here’s a true story…someone was asking me directions from his location, and this is how the conversation went.

“Well, I’m coming from Inverness Parkway.”-Him

“Okay, you’re going to want to take the I-25 south, towards Colorado Springs. Take the Lincolns Street exit and stay in the far right lane. Turn right off the free way and…”-Me (interrupted)

“Well, what direction is that?”-Him

“…excuse me?”-Me (confused as hell)

“Well, is that east or west?”-Him

“…sir…raise your right hand…”-Me

“Uh…okay…*does so*”-Him

“When you get to the exit of the freeway, turn that way. Okay?”-Me

This dude was actually confused because I didn’t tell him East or West… I mean…seriously, Colorado people?

The thing is, he’s not the last person I’ve done this with…

“…and how do I get there, officer?”-Another Him

“You’ll continue back down the road the opposite way you were just coming from, sir. Go to XXX and you’ll see a Shell station on the right and to the left is a Wendy’s. Turn left towards the Wendy’s and then take XXX which is on the right.”-Me

“…am I turning…uh…East or North that first time?”-Another Him

“Sir…when you see the Wendy’s hold up your left hand and turn that way. After the turn, hold up your right hand and turn that way. You can’t miss it.”-Me (laughing and being friendly)

“Oh…yeah, sorry, I guess that did sound kind of silly…”-Another Him (laughing)

Really, it’s stupid.

What I particularly love about Colorado directions when using the Internet is being told, “Exit at XXX/Exit #XXX and continue going straight. Exit onto (made up for this) CO-E87 and go North.” Well…guess what? I’m on a northbound freeway, exiting the freeway…and the street is going EAST AND WEST! Does it say to turn left or right off the freeway? No, it tells me to go north on an east bound interstate!

I have gotten lost so many damn times because of this and it’s driving me freaking crazy. It’s one of those things that makes me want to chew on some glass and spit it in a puppy’s face.

Really…can we start saying “turn left/turn right”, Colorado people? It only makes sense. If you turn left, no matter which way you’re facing, left is always left and right is always right…come on!

Posted 10/17/2008 at 12:59 AM on Xanga

So, I was at A Taste of Colorado…disgusting people (s)

If anyone happened to be at Taste of Colorado last night, you probably saw me but didn’t know it *L*

I do have to rant a little about the event, however… First off, the security was moronic. At the entrance was basically two Middle Eastern dudes who’s first words as I walked up with my group was, “Purses!! We need to check your purses!” to the two females of the group. I was then told, “Okay. Do you have any guns and knives on you, if not, come on in.”

Yes, that was all in one sentence. I didn’t show a badge, I didn’t say I was a cop.

I walked right in fully armed (including a three inch flip knife not hidden on my pocket) and my cousin had his knife. I was a little more than “humored” at this. My other cousin and his girlfriend didn’t know I came armed and when I told them, they started laughing. My aunt stated she started showing him her purse and the guy told her, “No, that’s okay. I believe you, come on in.” In the course of thirty minutes I saw six pistols and only two of those were on cops. The other four were on black gang-banging-pieces-of-shit. A lot of knives on retarded rednecks as well.

Secondly, when I start to go into a place like “A Taste of Colorado”, I don’t want to be jumped by your political views, regardless of side. What makes it worse is the fact that how they were presenting how great it would be. They were selling t-shirts and paintings which showed Obama in familiar pose right next to(are you ready for this) Che Guevara. The messages were different on each one, but they all had the word Hope and Revolution on it. Several of them said “Revolution for Hope and Change!” To me, that really just kind of says it all for the trash.

As if that wasn’t enough, most of the time we would pass one of those supporters, they were arguing with someone! Not over political views, no! They were arguing about trivial shit. “What, mother fucka! You just gna do me like dat?! I said the water only a dolla! Wer you from they treat peeps like that?! SHIT!”

Yes…I typed it as phonetically as I could to mimic the way they said it. No, they didn’t have Haitian accents or anything like that, these were Americans. Don’t let me forget to mention the CONSTANT shouting of “nigger/nigga” throughout the event…not by white people.

I really hate being in LoDo after 11:30…but that’s another topic.

Posted 8/31/2008 at 1:27 PM on Xanga