Cars by Pixar is Stupid


Pixar has done well for themselves. Good for them. However, some of their movies just don’t make sense. I’m not talking about how the entire “play dead” mechanic in Toy Story could never work, or how I find it extremely unbelievable no one in the entire Monsters Inc universe didn’t realize laughing could provide so much power from 1313 until 2001. Even though there are quite a few worlds they have built which are just flat out broken, the one I’m going to focus on right now is Cars. I’m not going to recap the entire movie, but I will bring a few things up.

This movie…good lord. The premise itself just doesn’t work. Nothing about the world they made seems to make much sense. The catalyst of everything, Lightening McQueen (drawn above), gets separated from his vehicle hauler…okay, whoa, let me back up a bit because I literally just realized how dumb this is from right here because this ties into what I was going to bring up.

So, we have world populated by only vehicles. In this movie, it’s all motor vehicles, such as trucks, sedans, mini-vans, low-riders (racist stereotype being portrayed as Mexicans), and things like that. There is nothing in the world which explains how each vehicle ends up being the type of vehicle it is nor why. Are tow-trucks just born to be tow-trucks? Are mini-vans born to just be mini-vans? Are plows just born to be plows? Does what one of these things decide to do dictate what they look like…like Transformers??? Well, the answer is “Fuck you. Watch the movie and don’t ask questions.”

Lightening McQueen is a race car. He just is. He’s pretty much one of the best, but is getting cocky. There’s even a very strange and disturbing sexual skit early on in which two identical cars shine their headlamps at him. Yes, that’s right, two female cars literally flash our “hero”. He even reacts like he just saw boobies, too, and they giggle like teenagers, as it’s hinted that they are very young, and pretend to be embarrassed for all of a second.

The face says it allAnyway, our “hero” is preparing to get to his next race and drives into the rear end of his big-rig trailer. Remember, this is a world populated by nothing more than vehicles, so this is like Michael Phelps climbing into a backpack to be carried to his next swimming match by one of his assistants. I know this may seem like I’m stretching things a bit and reaching, but think about it…this isn’t the same as someone driving you. You don’t climb into or onto a person and have them move you to where you’re going under their own power. It’s exactly like pulling a small kid in a wagon or carrying an infant in a baby carrier that’s made of your own body parts or the body parts of other humans. Disturbing, right? I thought so, too.

This brings me back to where I was originally going to start. The movie pretty much kicks off once Lightening McQueen gets separated from the rig he was being transported in. He tries to catch up by driving extremely fast down the road, which gets the attention of a police car who chases him down to arrest him for speeding. I have a huge problem with this. Why is the police officer chasing him? Driving too fast? He’s a car…not a driver. This entire world is populated by vehicles, not people, and the vehicle is controlling itself. Just like the absurdity of crawling inside another being to get transported to someplace else (like a parasite, bacteria, or virus…), this is literally like the police chasing down Usain Bolt for being out on a run, or arresting people while jogging for exercise. Say what you will about the nature of police in America, but I’m just not seeing why this is even a thing in the universe of Cars.

Can you imagine being out on a morning 10K run for training and the next thing you know you’re getting your ass handed to you by the local police because you were moving too fast? That’s pretty much exactly what happens to our “hero” here. What fresh 1984 hell does Cars take place in?! It’s almost like Animal Farm, but stupid.

You're supposed to find this sexually appealing... Now let’s throw in my other problem with the movie, which is something I have an issue with in pretty much all movies, especially children’s movies: Romance Sub-Plot. Why, oh, god, why, is there a romance sub-plot? It’s a movie about sentient, sapient motor vehicles focused on a racer who is too cocky for his own good. Do we really need a sexualized vehicle for our “hero” to fawn all over? Does the target audience have the maturity range and experience to appreciate this nuance of the story? I’m pretty sure most of the target demographics still think boys/girls are gross and don’t even have the understanding their parents are a boy and a girl…they’re just “Mom” and “Dad” still.

Just like most other stories and movies with absolutely nothing else to motivate the main character or make anyone remotely likable, the entire point of this romantic sub-plot is to be motivation for the main character, Lightening McQueen and provide something for a female lead to do: Be pretty to drive the plot forward. After all, everyone knows a woman in these stories can’t be separate or provide a means forward in the story by herself, unless she’s the single focus character in her own story, and even then, she has to be so overwhelmed by the fact she’s even just living that we’re happy to see her reach mediocrity by anyone’s standards. Likewise, the main character in these types of stories simply cannot have the motivation for doing what he desires without doing it to provide a nice big ego boost and status symbol for the woman.

Wait…what? The movies Blade and Terminator 2 showed you don’t have to put this type of dynamic into a movie with strong female characters and one of them is the main focus character in the movie? Well, fuck my ass sideways on a Sunday while calling me Victoria! You’re right! It can be done!

Screw this movie and the world they built. The entire thing makes no sense and the only thing worse is Planes. Yes. That’s real.

Driving tips for one day a week drivers


Until I moved to Colorado, I believed the term “Sunday Driver” was just something one used in order to refer to a moronic driver without swearing in front of your children so you actually seem to give a damn about them.  Well, as it turns out, outside of California there really are a bunch of you idiots out there driving only one day a week and still think that you have reasonable driving skills to be on the road.  The fact is, you don’t.

Don’t worry, though.  I’m going to help change all of that.  Yes, with Professor Sunrie’s Patent Pending Driving Tips, you’re going to learn more in a few minutes of reading than you will driving for fifteen years.  Not only am I going to cover how not to be a complete shit head when behind the wheel, but I’m going to make sure you understand what a huge shit head you are for driving the way you currently do!  It’s so simple, that a 16 year old girl with a learner’s permit, who already drives better than you do, will be an expert driver in no time.
 
 
1. The Gas Pedal
I was going to start this off with “A Green Light Means Go”, but for the sheer fact that most of you don’t even remember where the gas pedal is I can’t help but start if off with this.  I’m sure there are people out there that claim they realize this, as it has always been the pedal furthest to the right, even in right side drive cars, it seems you have actually forgotten which pedal makes the car accelerate.

While someone who might actually care about you might stare at you lovingly across the middle console and give you big, twinkling, puppy-dog eyes while stating, “Oh, sweetie, it’s alright.  We all make mistakes, after all.  Your foot must of slipped.  Go ahead and accelerate through the light!”, I will not.  I am not going to sugar coat any of this for you dumb asses.  They may be worried about hurting your feelings, but I am completely unattached and don’t give a damn about you.  Unless you plow into my car, that is.

Let me not forget to mention that over time, even those who claim to care about your worthless existence are going to turn on you soon, too.  Rest assured that soft talk will quickly turn into, “What are you doing?!  The god damn gas pedal is the same fucking place since the invention of the automobile: ON THE RIGHT!  NOW GO!”

To make your vehicle accelerate, you vary pressure on the gas pedal.  Again, it’s the pedal to the furthest right.  You do know which direction is right…right?  Hold up your right hand.  Yep, that direction (This, too, will discussed later).  The more you press down on the gas pedal, the faster the car will accelerate.  If you continue to press down on the gas pedal, your car will continue to accelerate at a constant or more rapid pace as it gains speed.  This is extremely important when you need to continue through a green light, get on the freeway, keep up with traffic, or simply reach the speed limit (All these, too, will be discussed later).  When you take your foot off the gas pedal, your speed will continue to decrease and should you press on the brake pedal, which you seem to be completely familiar with, you can come to a full and complete stop.

Once you have grasped the full understanding of the function of the gas pedal versus the brake pedal, you can continue on.  Please do not continue on until your do understand, or you will be confused and very lost as we explore the other concepts of driving.
 
 
2. A Green Light Means Go
The most important color of all the lights in a traffic control device is Green.  When the light is anything except for Red, it means you can proceed in the chosen direction.  When you see the light as being Green, then you must either continue to press the gas pedal to proceed in your chosen direction, ease your pressure on the gas pedal to make your turn, or press on the gas pedal to accelerate from a stop.

Sometimes the light is “funny” and is a Yellow color.  Don’t worry!  Yellow is only an indication that the light will soon change to Red and serves as a warning only.  If you are about to enter into the intersection or make a turn when the light is Green and it turns to Yellow, do not press on the brake pedal in an attempt to stop!  This will cause a traffic collision.  Simply continue to proceed through your chosen direction of travel.

Other times when a Green light can seem “funny” is when it is an arrow instead of a solid circle.  Don’t panic at all, please.  This simply means you can turn in the direction of the arrow when the light is Green without having to worry about other vehicles coming at you full force.  Just be sure you’re checking to make sure the arrows are Green, because they function the same way as a regular traffic control device with three colored circles: Red on top, Yellow in the middle, and Green on the bottom.

Should you find yourself stopped when the light is Red, the moment the light turns Green, you must immediately accelerate in your chosen direction.  The Green light is not a warning or a suggestion like the Yellow light.  A Green light means you are to proceed immediately.  You are not to sit and ponder the meaning of the light or be distracted by the vast empty thoughts of your hollowed head.  Green will always, always, always, always mean you must go.  Red always means stop.  Yellow always means Red is coming and serves as a warning.  Again, Green always means go.
 
 
3. Lane Positioning
On the road there are sections marked by different colored lines.  Usually, these are white.  These white lines indicate “Lanes”.  You must drive your vehicle within the confines of these Lanes unless merging (This will be discussed later).  You may use the entire lane you have chosen to drive in, but you must not move into the adjacent lanes when attempting to drive in a straight path.

By not driving in your own lane, you are being greedy.  Mostly, though, you are being a huge ass munch who shouldn’t be on the road.  There are ways of making sure people are not going to keep passing you (This will be discussed later), but this isn’t one of them.

Your lane position is almost as important as accelerating at a green light.  By keeping inside the lines of your lane, you ensure you will not strike another vehicle to your side with your vehicle.  This also allows motorcycles to “lane split” when it is safe and legal to do so.  Motorcycles are like cars, only they only have two wheels, are much quicker to accelerate, are louder, use less gas and therefore better for the environment, and take up less space.  Trust me, you’ll encounter them, so be on the look out for them (This will be discussed later).

Another very important reason to keep within the confines of your lane is you don’t want to get pulled over by law enforcement.  This is going to add time to your trip you didn’t count on and cost you extra money.  With the shitty way you drive, you’re attracting enough attention already, so stay inside those god damn lines!
 
 
4. Using your Indicator/Turn Signal
I have to list this here instead of “Lane Changes and Merging on the Freeway/Expressway” because, like the Gas Pedal, you idiots don’t know how to use your Indicator/Turn Signal.  Also, from here on out, “Indicator” will be used to represent the term “Turn Signal” as well.  In other words, it’s the same god damn thing, okay?

Your Indicator is what you use in order to indicate (what a concept!) what your intended change in direction is going to be.  This enables other drivers to anticipate your next move and act accordingly.

If you’re Asian, then you’re probably extremely confused as to what I’m talking about right now.  Sure you’re smart with the numbers and making cell phones smaller, but for some reason you can’t comprehend the concept of the Indicator.  It’s usually located on the left side of the steering wheel and is operated via a lever.  Push the lever up and you signal that you want to move to the right.  Pull the lever down and you signal that you want to move left.

One way of figuring out when the appropriate time to use your Indicator is the following:
1. You wish to merge to the left/right lane
2. You wish to make a left/right turn

If you wish to do any of the previous listed actions, then you must use your Indicator.  When should you activate your Indicator when wishing to enact those actions?  A general rule is if you are going 40MPH/64.36KPH (← for you metric fucks) or slower then you should activate your Indicator at least 100 feet prior to your chosen action.  If you are going  If you are going 41MPH/65.6KPH or faster, then you should activate your Indicator at least 200 feet prior to your chosen action.
 
 
5. Paying Attention
Yep, you need to learn how to be aware of your surroundings.  There are many things that you need to be aware of:
1. Your Speed in Relation to the Speed Limit
2. Your Lane Positioning
3. Lane Positioning of Other Drivers
4. What Direction You Wish to Travel
5. Your Location in Relation to Where You’re Going
6. Motorcycles

The first thing you’re going to learn here is how to pay attention to the speed limit.  You finally have a firm understanding of the Gas Pedal, and if you don’t then you need to go back and keep reading that section, so understanding the speed limit should be much easier now.  Though, I do tend to give you morons too much credit…

Speed limit signs tend to be white with black lettering.  Speed limits are not suggestions.  Speed limits are the law.  If the speed limit is 65MPH/104KPH, then you must travel at least 65MPH/104KPH!  You are not to drive 55MPH/88KPH in order to stay within the law.  As a matter of fact, if you do drive slower than the speed limit, you are actually breaking another law, and said law is “Impeding the Flow of Traffic”.  So, just go the speed limit.

How do you know if you’re doing the speed limit?  Well, when you look down at your dashboard and behind your steering wheel, there is a cluster of gauges.  This tells you if you need gas, how fast you are traveling, and many other important pieces of information.  This is usually the absolute easiest way to tell if you are going the speed limit.  If the sign says 65MPH/104KPH and the gauge with numbers in marks of ten has a needle pointing at 65MPH/104KPH, then you’re going the speed limit: Congratulations!  If it is anything lower, then speed up.  If it is five miles an hour faster, then you are still okay, and said speed is actually the preferred pace of travel you should aim for.  However, five miles an hour slower is never to be allowed.  The other way of figuring out if you are going the speed limit is to check the pace of travel with the other cars.  If every other god damn fucking car is passing you constantly, then you need to speed the fuck up!  At no point should every vehicle on the highway be passing you!  If this is happening, then you are not going fast enough!  This is the best way to keep everyone from passing you.  Now you don’t have to straddle two lanes, you fucking mook!

In the same vain as making sure that you are following the speed limit, there is no day the law says you must travel at no faster than 25MPH/40KPH on the side streets and no faster than 45MPH/72KPH on the highway.  No, not even on Sunday does the speed limit drop lower than the posted sign limits.  The cops aren’t trying to trick you with the signs only to pull you over when you are following the speed limit instead of only doing 25MPH/40KPH.

If you aren’t used to driving, then the last thin you should be doing is talking on a cell phone, changing the radio, or drinking coffee.  Just wait until you can actually hold the steering wheel, drive, and think at the same time.

We’ve already discussed Lane Positioning, so I’m not going to put a lot of detail of that all in here.  Just make sure you’re in your own lane unless merging or changing lanes and always use your Indicator.  Always be aware of other people’s Lane Position as well, that way you won’t strike their vehicle with yours.

If you know that you need to travel in a straight line, then for god’s sake, travel in a straight line!  There is no reason to constantly switch lanes, especially when you’re going the speed limit.  If you know that you are going to need to turn right, get in to the furthest right lane as soon as possible!  One of the biggest mistakes you will make is when you are in the far left lane and need to make a right turn, and try to speed up to pass the other cars to get to the right turn…or vice versa.  Think about things for a moment…if you need to make a turn which is coming up quickly and you try to speed up in order to get in front of the car to your side, how easy will it be for you to get to that turn?  Yeah, not very, dumb shit.  Congratulations, you’ve just got one point in for reasoning.  Don’t get cocky, though, you’re still an idiot, which is why I’m trying to help you.  What you need to do is actually slow down in order to allow the other vehicle to get in front of you, then merge into the lane…of course while using your Indicator!

Knowing ahead of time which direction you wish to travel is incredibly important.  Road signs give a perfect explanation of what the roads are called so you can anticipate which direction you will need to go.

MOTORCYCLES….
I explained what a motorcycle is, so here’s a picture.  Also depicted is a rather typical motorcycle rider.  Why is this important?  Because he will drag you out of your car, beat you, make you impale yourself with your own head and then give you a “shit on the chest bonus”, followed by lighting your car on fire, raping your cat, skinning your dog, and then chopping the rest of your family into little pieces which he will feed to your grandmother as a stew.  Don’t fuck with the motorcycle driver.  Watch out for motorcycles.

There’s a really good reason motorcycles have loud pipes: You’re a fucking twat who can barely tell when there is another car present, so the loud noise serves as a warning to even your retarded self.  Motorcycles also travel with their head lamps on all the time and most of them flicker a little just to add more attention so you know they are there.  Remember, motorcycles are more fuel efficient and take up less space than your vehicle, and so are better for the environment meaning you should show as much respect to them as possible…and there’s always the fact the rider will probably kill you if you fuck with them.  Motorcyclists also tend to be more proud of this country than you are and do more to show their pride.  I’m getting a little side tracked with this, so we’ll move on.
 
 
6. Lane Changes and Merging on the Freeway/Expressway
Now things are about to get a little more complicated, aren’t they?  Shut up.  That was a rhetorical question.  This has a direct connection with having to using your indicator and pay attention which is why those were listed before this.

Not only must you be aware of your own lane position, but the position of all the other vehicles as well.  I listed why in the previous section, so if you don’t understand it, then go back and read this all over again from the very top.

To change lanes, you must use several of your senses: Sight, Hearing…okay, only two.  There are some things you must do in order to actually change lanes.  First you must activate your Indicator.  Second, you must look in your rear view mirror.  Third, you must check the mirror on the side of the vehicle in which the lane you wish to change in to is on.  Finally, you must turn your head to the side in order to ensure there is no one you could not previously see in the mirrors.  After the correct amount of distance with your Indicator active (this was discussed earlier) and it is both safe and prudent to do so, then you can move your vehicle in to the desired lane.

Sure it seems like there are a lot of steps you must take in order to change lanes, but this will keep you safe and from being a huge fucking idiot on the road.  Changing lanes is important to get where you’re going, so the more skill you have at it, the faster, easier, and safer you will be at doing it.  If you can master changing lanes, then you can begin to effectively merge onto the freeways/expressways.  Merging onto the freeway/expressway is a little more difficult, as there is an added rule you must learn, but don’t freak out too much.  You’re here to learn after all.

Absolutely the most important thing to remember when merging onto the freeway/expressway is this:
If you ain’t on the freeway/expressway, you ain’t shit!

People on the freeway/expressway have the right away and it is your responsibility to get on safely.  They do not have to do shit for you.  The drivers on the freeway/expressway do not have to merge over into an adjacent lane to allow you safe passage.  They drivers on the freeway/expressway do not have to slam on their brakes in order to allow you to merge onto the freeway/expressway.

You must not only do everything listed when changing lanes and where the gas pedal is located, but you must also adjust your speed in order to be fast enough to be on the freeway/expressway, and also time your entry so that you can actually get onto the freeway/expressway in a manner which does not put those already doing the speed limit or faster at risk.  If someone is being kind enough to slow down for you, then get the fuck up to speed as quickly as possible.  This ties back in to following the speed limit.  See how everything is connected?

The freeway/expressway is not for the faint of heart.  If you have a problem with speeds above 45MPH/72KPH then stay off the freeways/expressways.  Most freeways/expressways are set to have a speed at minimum of 55MPH/88KPH and many have speeds up to 80MPH/128KPH.  If you aren’t doing at least those speeds while you are on it, then get off.  You must be both a defensive and offensive driver on the freeway/expressway, so if you think that it’s nothing but a bunch of “Thunder Dome mental psychos”, then just stay the fuck off of it, okay?
 
 
7. Knowing Left and Right…
You’re probably thinking that I’m being faseshious, but really, so many of you people don’t know how to turn left or right.  Regardless of where you are facing, regardless of the direction in which you are traveling is, left is always left, right is always right.  You don’t need to know if you are fucking turning North, East, South, or West.  Just turn to the god damn, mother fucking left or right.

If you are told to exit the freeway/expressway at Church Street and turn left, does it really matter if that is fucking South or West or what-the-fuck-ever?  No!  It means turn fucking left!  For some reason every child, except for the one with the football helmet and water wings, in kindergarten can tell you which is left and right, but the moment you jack-offs get a driver’s license, you can’t navigate with Left and Right as directions.

If you are facing North and raise your left hand, then that is left, but if you are facing South and raise your left hand…then that is still left.  Same goes for Right.  Nothing in the history of man has changed the direction of Left and Right, not even the invention of the automobile.  If someone gives you directions and tells you to turn left or right, just raise your left or right hand and you’ll know which direction to go.  It’s not a complicated concept.  Hell, it’s the easiest of everything on here for god’s sake.
 
 
You’ve Finished!
Well, congratulations!  You’ve made it through the basics section!  You may not be a great driver, but at least now you know and understand the basic principles of driving.  Practice makes perfect.  I know it is scary out there in the world away from your couch, but you obviously have to drive places every so often or feel the need to drive some place at least one day a week.  The more you drive, the better you will be.  The better you are, the more you will see what a fucking retard you were before all the practice and reading this entry.  Now get out there and actually drive!

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Posted 2/11/2011 at 5:16 PM on Xanga

Environmental Machocism

The Government Wants to Tax You for Gas Consumption

We’ve all heard about how absurd and unfair it is of the government to mandate the corporate average fuel economy of vehicles made by new car manufacturers.  Known as CAFE, people have long called for the government to get the hell out of the business of telling car makers what to build.  Safety is one thing, but dictating how much gas mileage a vehicle gets is something else.

Not that long ago the federal government didn’t lose any sleep over how terrible a car’s MPG was.  CAFE comes from an idea which originated in the 1970’s, then was launched straight to sacred cow status by the 1990’s.  Plenty of very cool vehicles can’t be built by the companies simply because of CAFE, since the manufacturers can’t balance them with enough gas sipping cars on the other end.

Just to let you know, CAFE almost killed the Viper project, and keeps Hemi’s out of more vehicles.  It also helps make life more miserable for the rest of us.  If CAFE weren’t around, Ford would be building all their Mustangs with a minimum of a 429 and Chrysler would have their 600HP 426-style Hemis into almost everything.  Hell, even GTOs would have the 455 crammed in with twin turbos.  CAFE has been a huge pain in everyone’s ass since it was introduced.  Even Obama sucks on CAFE’s teets, mandating that cars all average 35MPG by 2018.  35MPG!  Most cars can’t even average close to that!  CAFE is forcing manufacturers to build cars they can’t sell in order to build cars they can sell.  It’s a delicate balancing act – the gas sucking cars must be counter balanced with cars that sip it like tea.

Then there’s the massive problem with CAFE being caused by all you “stupid consumers” as well.  You see, you’re not buying what you’re supposed to be buying.  The feds have this perfect world idea of what you need, and even though they do their best to shove it down your throat and ride your ass, you’re not buying those little putt-putt cars.

I guess we should just face the fact that we’re all morons, right?  Kind of like when you’re at Thanksgiving and there’s a ton of food on the table spread out in front of you.  There are all kinds of healthy and unhealthy options to choose from, but you know what you want.  You want that big chocolate cake in the middle of everything.  However, since this isn’t your first rodeo, you’re aware you are going to end up having to eat some of the green beans, carrots, and things like that before you get cake.

Obviously the feds have made sure there are a crap ton of lima beans and soy burgers, but all of us idiots are still guzzling down the cake without even touching the veggies.  So, guess what?  Like you’re mom did, if she was actively involved in your life, the feds are now looking for ways to smack you on the side of the head and make you eat those god damn veggies, or else you can’t have the cake.

CAFE was flawed from the moment of it’s inception, and it still is.  Just because a company is being forced to build a car with mandates from the government, there currently is no law that says you must buy it.  We live in a relatively free society (getting less free by the month), so you’re allowed to buy whatever it is you actually want.  As long as you can make the payments and afford the insurance, that is.  Despite those 40MPG micro-cars becoming available, there just aren’t many people stupid enough buy them.

Using the mentality of “If you build it, they will buy it”, CAFE was forced through.  There is a reason there aren’t any fast food restaurants with drive-thrus selling asparagus or movies in the theatre about how soda cans are manufactured.  The public doesn’t want any of that kind of crap.  You have to make a product that people actually want if you’re going to stay in business.  Well, get ready to get a taste for asparagus sprouts on a whole wheat bun, because the feds are thinking, and that is never good for any of us.

What’s being pondered is something called HAFE.  What is HAFE?  It stands for “Household Average Fuel Economy”.  HAFE would shift the burden of fuel efficiency from the manufacturers to you.  The auto makers could make absolutely any car they want, and you could still buy whatever it is that you want…as long as you can meet the federally mandated HAFE rating for your particular household, and you must uphold it.

Not getting it yet?  HAFE would work much the same way CAFE has worked, only now you are the target and not Chrysler or Ford.

The feds would take a look at your family: How many kids do you have? How far do you drive to work? How many vehicles do you own?  All those kinds of things, and then decide your vehicles must average 35MPG.  If you have a pickup and an SUV, then you’re not going to make it.  To balance out either one of those cars, you’d have to buy a micro Smart Car in order to balance it.  Oh, but that’s not all.  You’d have to drive the micro Smart Car an equal or even greater amount to actually satisfy the 35MPG mandate.

You see, possession isn’t enough under HAFE.  You actually have to meet the mandate or you’ll be fined.  This could be the biggest money grab ever dreamed up.  The formula for figuring out your HAFE is extremely over simplified in order to keep people from being scared, too.  Edward Lapham, of Automotive News fame writes, “If you own an SUV that gets about 20MPG and a mid-sized convertible that gets about 30MPG, and a compact sedan that gets about 40MPG, and you drive them all about the same distance in a year, your HAFE would be 30MPG.”

That seems awful reasonable and simple, right?  But, how many of you out there own three cars?  Collectors generally have more than three and many average people are lucky to have one.  What happens if you own a garage full of Road Runners and Barracudas?  Yep, you’re fucked.  Under HAFE you’d be taxed or penalized every year just for having a muscle car in your garage.  It’s basically a perpetual car note.

Let’s say the feds give you a HAFE of 25MPG and you only average 18MPG by years end.  That’s when the feds will be able to slap you with a tax penalty for not doing your part.  You’re not being taxed unfairly, since we have to be fair.  No, you’re being taxed for not doing your part to help the environment.  This is a deliciously tasty idea to Washington because it means they will have a brand new way of rounding up cash from everyone.  Also, the ones generally being affected will be the wealthy, who generally have vehicles with lower miles per gallon on average.

There’s a ton of things that this whole HAFE idea has not addressed.  For instance, what about the guy who needs a large dually to get his work done since he is in construction?  What if you’re a single female with a convertible Mustang and nothing else?  These things haven’t even been addressed yet.  All this goes to further prove that a politician with too much time on his/her hands is a dangerous thing.

Think it won’t or can’t happen?  Do you really think that people in the 1960’s thought that the government could ever mandate what hair spray is made of?  Let’s keep HAFE in the basement.  Politicians always want to keep their jobs, so contact them and tell them to kill the Pelosi agenda introduced HAFE immediately.  Let the free market run without these restrictions.  It’s what our founding father’s intended.

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Posted 1/7/2011 at 6:13 AM on Xanga