Dear Black People: Here’s a List of Things Everyone Wishes You’d Stop Doing

These are simple requests. Easy requests. But we’re not holding our breath.

Nigga, please!
There are a few things every race, nationality, ethnicity, sexual orientation…hell, EVERYONE…would like you to stop doing. They’re not complicated things. Just things that will benefit not everyone else around you, but your own race as well. By “benefit”, we all mean once you put these suggestions to use, it’ll make you tolerable person. Not a great person. Not a good person. Just a tolerable person. Being a tolerable person means people can stand to be around you for more than five seconds. It’s a win-meh situation. So just take a moment for the list below. Everyone will be glad you did.

1. Wash your hair. We’ve asked you this a million times. It doesn’t matter if you’re “growing out some sweet dreads/cornrows”. Either of those on an adult is proof positive you have absolutely no understanding between right and wrong at first glance.

2. Start understanding answers to questions. Stop going around in circles chasing your tail trying to confuse people into giving you something you don’t deserve.

3. Stop screaming in theatres. You’re there to watch what is going on during the movie and your flapping gums is not adding to the scenes. Shut the fuck up once in a while. We’d rather not listen to who you were recently fucking and how nasty he or she was while watching Star Wars.

4. Stop niggering up “white” foods. A tuna sandwich is just fine being a tuna sandwich. Collard greens are fucking disgusting. Sweet potatoes are like a desert and are even better with butter and cinnamon.

5. Stop claiming shit isn’t a trend when it obviously is. Like shaving your “rap name” into the back of your head or making cuts into your eyebrows to be different. That shit came and went. It’s not a culture so much as a moron trying to start something moronic.

6. Stop thinking only black people can make soul music. The only people who can’t create soul music are the Japanese and gingers because they don’t have souls.

7. Stop screaming “racism” every time someone who isn’t black does something you don’t like. Guess what? Someone might not like you just because you’re a piece of shit and it didn’t occur to them you’re focused on skin color. Stop being a racist piece of shit.

8. STOP MAKING OVER SEASONED FOOD! If your food was flavorful or good to begin with, you wouldn’t have to cover it with more seasoning than a Hindu village! Sometimes french fries taste good simply because they’re french fries!

9. Stop acting like Africa is the greatest place ever and how you’re so proud of it and we’ll all stop telling you to go back to it. If you’re from America, be proud to be an American. You don’t have to fucking claim to be African, especially if you’ve never been and six of your generations were born here.

10. Stop claiming everyone is a redneck. Not everyone is from the south. I’m originally from California. Sure it was southern California, so if anything I’m a wasp, not a redneck. I did my time in the south thanks to the military, and let me tell you, if you even suggest I belong down there in Missouri I’ll break your fucking face. Fuck Missouri.

11. Stop making up names to sound black. Up until the 1970’s those names didn’t exist and they don’t have a real root in African naming…and considering there are around 2000 languages in African, you’d be just as accurate naming yourself Jean Pierre instead of LaNyquil or even Martylenol.

12. Stop “deepest, darkest Africa” a neighborhood and then wonder why people don’t trust you and your demon spawn. You get defensive at everyone when crime goes up because of your extended or immediate family coming in and they’re mad about it. It’s the same situation as when Trayvon Martin went into Andrew Zimmerman’s neighborhood or the Germans went into Poland.

13. Mind your personal space. If you can pick our pocket, you’re too close, and you probably picked our pocket. Prepare to get shot. We carry guns because you steal guns. That and to protect ourselves from the democrats.

14. Stop saying you aren’t as good as everyone else and need special treatment. You are making yourselves victims, and denying that shows how stupid you are.

15. Stop thinking everything belongs to you. Stop stealing our shit. Stop with the drugs. Stop with raping. If you think you don’t, look at the crime statistics, especially in your own neighborhoods where a black man is highly likely to be killed by another black man.

16. Stop thinking the democrats are out to save you. Democrats started Jim Crow laws and fought to keep segregation for a long time. The Klu Klux Klan were founded as a Democrat organization. They keep saying you aren’t good enough and need “white man help”. You’re good enough on your own.

17. Please, for the love of god, use lotion and soap. We can smell you and it looks like you’re trying to salt everything with all the ash.

18. Stop acting like you should go first just because of your skin color and victim mentality. Yeah, we know you do it consciously.

19. Stop having fights at the dining table. The rest of us don’t want to have to kill someone in self defense because you can’t pay the fucking check or refuse to tip. But, since you do number 3, I guess it’s to be expected.

20. Stop throwing the fact your black in everyone’s face. We can see you’re black. Feel like be exclusive? Feel like acting like a retarded moron? We do hate you when you do this #niggernignignig

21. Stop resisting arrest while screaming about racism. Stop looting. Stop all the god damn riots every time a black man gets arrested. I’d say we don’t know where you find the time, but let’s face it, you don’t work.

22. Stop telling us how you can’t be racist. You are. More than most people. We don’t care if you don’t like white people or Chinese people, or even Jews. We get it. You don’t care about anyone who isn’t black. Move on. Grow up.

See? There’s nothing too tough or illogical about this list. This should be taught in elementary school, but according to your mentality and how you act, we’re sure you’d claim it’s too difficult for your negro brains to grasp, making it racist.

Sincerely,

Everyone on the planet.


This is a direct response to a moronic post highlighted by TheSafestSpace on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSafestSpace/status/781616441984479232

Don’t reply to my comments on other blogs (s)


Because I’m not going to respond. Morons.

When I leave a comment on another blog, I am not interested in what you have to say in response if you’re not the author. Hell, a lot of the time, I don’t even care what the author has to say in response. If I’m leaving you a comment in response to something you said, I don’t give a shit what you think about it.

Ironic? Only if you’re an idiot.

If you care what I say in response to you, then you lose and I win. Most of the time when I’m leaving you a message, it’s to point out what a dumb shit you are. If I’m agreeing with you, take it with a grain of salt and not as a trophy.

Honestly, why would I respond to you? All I do when I see the little icon lit up in the corner of my screen is click on it to clear it. I don’t read it. The one of the only times I read a response was when it was someone simply saying, “I’m blocking you!” Well, good for you. You approved my comment only to say you’re going to block me. Problem is, now everyone can see that post from both me and you. You come across as the dumb ass looking for attention.

Just because I don’t respond doesn’t mean you’ve won. I have at least ten cases in the past where I’ve seen the icon stating I have a comment, only to find out it’s someone constantly posting a “reply” asking why I’m not responding, and trying to claim victory. Just because I’m not arguing with an idiot doesn’t mean the idiot is winning. You aren’t winning, I am. Every time you post I get another point.

Thinking about responding to a comment I made on another blog on one of my entries? Well, I’m just going to delete it. Why? Because it’s out of place for the entry and I consider that spam. Continue to do so, and I’m going to block you on the principle of you posting spam in my blog and I’ll report you. You’re free to comment on the current content or even to other people in my entries, but that’s it. Otherwise, I could not care less what you have to say down there in the comments, especially if it’s entertaining.

Disabling comments in your blog means you’re a coward! (s)

You're a coward!
Anywhere between 80% to 89% of all blogs are just…just…terrible… People attempt to write for a perceived audience, even going as far as to refer to their readers under stupid names in relation to the blog itself such as “Lovelies / Potato Heads / Audibles / Demwits” just to name a few. Most of the writers also try to write as eloquently as possible, almost like they are trying to get discovered as a “gem of the Internet” by someone with influence in order to get a writing contract. Some writers use the Internet to have a journal where other people can read about their trivial no-one-will-miss-me-when-I’m-gone lives, which are usually, “interestingly” enough, liberal minded people.

Typical liberal dipshitThe latter is usually what I’m referring to in this bitching I’m going on. Why? Because when you go into most liberal blogs and/or whiny bitch blogs, hell, most political blogs, the comments are disabled. Honestly, the only reason I can come up with in the matter is because they’re cowards.

I don’t care what side of the political fence you’re on or for what reason you’re writing; If you have comments disabled in your blog then you’re a coward. Don’t try going on the false reasoning you write for yourself and not for anyone else. If that’s true, then why are your entries public? No, you want people, anyone besides yourself, to care. You know most people don’t, so by blocking them, you don’t have to face the fact you aren’t getting comments on your bullshit. By disabling comments you can pretend someone out there may care. After all, if no one is going to comment and you just disable it, then you can pretend it doesn’t matter when it really does.

As many of you know, I have claimed I don’t write for other people. Well, that’s true. I write in hopes that someone will be pleased with what I write, but guess what? Someone always is: Me. Hell, I “like” all of my entries…and why wouldn’t I? In addition to everything else, I don’t disable my comments and I don’t moderate my comments, save for spam. If you’re spamming, then of course I’ll delete comments. I don’t care if you don’t like what I say or even feel the need to hate me because you’re an idiot. Any and all comments given to me since I moved over to WordPress have been approved. Why? Because hate is usually more fun than praise. I know I’m good, so it’s entertaining to me when someone tries to claim otherwise. Let me not forge to mention it’s fun watching morons argue with morons over postings made in the comments section.

I'm the one in the middleSee, I’m not a coward. Nothing I put on here is something I haven’t or won’t say to people face to face. I’ve posted images of myself (the one on the right is of me and I’m in the middle) and people know I live in Colorado. I’m not stupid enough to post specifics due to identity theft. If you’re thinking the picture is “too small lolololooolololool!!!!111!”, then check around my writings and you’ll find bigger pictures, like in a joke entry about me having an identical twin. Also, yes, those are training guns, not active firearms. I only say this because I know too many people reading this will try and make a stupid comment about it.

If you’re writing for you, then make the entries private and stop this crap with disabling comments. Also, stop moderating the comments for things besides spam or off-topic posts. No one with a brain is being fooled if you have nothing but people agreeing with you. There’s always going to be at least one troll and/or at least one person who doesn’t agree with you. We all know just about no one cares about your life or writings. So knock it off. Make your entry private or enable your comments, coward!