How To: Youtube Gaming Channel!


Youtube Gaming Channel

Over the years YouTube has gone from being a place to illegally upload full episodes of TV shows broken into five minute segments, to webcams of fat idiots demanding moronic changes in society, to softcore jailbait porn, to people’s jobs thanks to profit sharing. Money is king and YouTube is like a duke or duchess, or something, and now you can make all kinds of money if you have the know how by making videos.

If you want to get into this profitable business, you need the skills to make a video, get likes and subscribers. This is easier said than done, but that’s where your soft lap Uncle Sunrie comes in. Come on over and sit on my lap as I slowly rub your back and give you the tools necessary to succeed! Just don’t tell anyone. This’ll be our secret, okay?

Unlike some of my other How To Guides, this is a complete lesson. Obviously this is free of charge, just like the others.

As always, links will open in a separate window. Before you read on, here’s an example on how it all should look:


Video on YouTube. SMASH THOSE LIKES!


Purpose of this Guide
For this guide, we’re going to focus on making a specific type of successful channel on YouTube: Gaming.

There are many types of gaming channels on YouTube. These channels consist of the following types:

  • Let’s Play
  • Prediction
  • Funny/Fail Moment Montages
  • Stunt Montages
  • Impressions
  • Strategies
  • Review

Because there is a lot of cross over with each style, no matter what you do, you’re going to want the format shown in this guide.
 
 
Profit sharing and sponsors
Before you actually begin, make sure you turn on the profit sharing option in your YouTube account. This will ensure you not only get money based on clicks, views, subscriptions, and likes, you’ll also have an ad on your movie before it actually plays.

These ads will be anywhere between 15 seconds (and unable to be skipped) to four minutes or longer (able to be skipped after 15 seconds). This is how you’re getting paid, and the longer the ads in front of your movie, the more you’ll make. You’re going to be so popular, it won’t matter how long the ad is to your video, since people will be falling all over your genitals just because you uploaded something. Trust me, they’ll wait and they’ll like it!

Sadly, though, YouTube has changed they way they’ve done profit sharing and the amount has come down quite a bit. Don’t worry, you can always get sponsors. When you do, they’ll require you to have a certain content rating for your videos. That’s just life of a profit sharing, money making, YouTube artist like yourself, though.

For your sponsors, make sure you not only put in at least a picture of one of their products, if not another short video, explaining who they are, what they do, what’s being sold, and any special discounts the viewer will get by adding coupon codes to their purchase on the sponsor’s website. These short ads should be at least thirty seconds long, and up to 1.5 minutes.
 
 
Have a badass animated opening
You need to capture people attention, and the absolute best way to do that is to have a long, killer animated opening sequence. How do you? Follow the advice below! Make sure this happens AFTER all ads and sponsor information, though.

Special Effects
Don’t chince on the special effects. This should have more over production than a Michael Bay movie! Lens flare, flashing colors, animated words, and pounding music. For extra credit, make sure something in the opening sequence pulses in time with the music playing.

Music
Use something either everyone or no one has ever heard of. Forget if you have permission to use the song on your profit sharing channel or not, this is the Internet and you don’t need permission, right?

The type of music you use should be something ear pounding and/or extremely annoying. Use the absolute most over modulated, poorly optimized dubstep you can find. Alternatively, use scream metal. An example of that is Schatten Aus Der Alexander Welt. Drive home the point you’re extreme and awesome!
 
 
Content
Now it’s time to start some kind of content, but not the actual promised content itself. No, you have to beg first, since everyone loves a person begging before the content of the video actually starts.

An astrix marks something which is optional.

Showing yourself*
This is totally optional. Face reveals are sometimes good, but it doesn’t matter. If you’re going to show yourself, though, there are a few rules to follow to ensure you’re going to do it correctly.

Lots of empty white space behind you
You don’t want to have a nice backdrop and you don’t want to be zoomed in too close to yourself. Make sure your head takes up about half the screen width and almost the entire height, but leave a little so your skull isn’t cut off. Remember, the less going on behind you, the more focused people are on you.

Huge ass microphone*
Nothing says you’re a serious speaker like having a microphone the size of something from the 1920’s Radio Music Hall with a wind screen bigger than your face.

Headphone microphone*
If you don’t have a huge ass microphone, make sure you’re doing the responsible thing and using a microphone on your headsets. keep it extremely close to your mouth so every breath you take is recorded and every word is over buzzed when excited.

Huge headphones
Just like having a big mic, make sure when you’re showing yourself, you have massive headphones on. Why would you have headphones one? Who the hell cares! What’s important is you have them on, showing you’re serious about recording!

Huge ass smile and bouncing around
Whenever you’re showing your face, make sure you bounce around a lot and always have a grin on your face like you just screwed someone’s daughter while her parents were in the living room and you were both in the bathroom.

Sitting still means you’re bored and if you’re bored, people will see you as boring. Always sway back and forth, make spastic movments (a la Avril Lavigne’s video Hello Kitty). So, pretty much move like Michael J. Fox without his medication while starring as the creepy little girl from The Ring.

Messy hair, unshaven – Overweight*
Nothing says “ARTIST!” like seeming as if you don’t give a fuck about how you look. Make sure your hair isn’t done up, you have a five o’clock (or later) shadow, you’re over 25 and you aren’t really that skinny. Oh, and wear “Dad” clothing even if you aren’t a parent.

Punk inspired hair done neatly, shaven, nice clothing – Skinny*
If you aren’t any of the previous, do it right and make sure you’re auditioning for a modern day Beatles band membership. You want to be super clean cut, with a somewhat hipster style hairdo, and wear clothing from places such as American Eagle. Try to look even younger than you are, and be “oh so cool”.

Begging and delaying
Before any other content aside from your ads, sponsor information, and intro begins, it’s time to now beg. What will you be begging for? Check out below!

Thank people for watching
Start off by thanking people for watching, even though they haven’t watched anything of value yet. This lulls them into a false sense of safety, promise of content, and makes them feel welcome.

Subscribers
You’ll want to instantly go into asking for people to subscribe to your channel. Promise them content, based on likes (more detail below) and subscribes. Talk about how many you currently have and then reference how many you want to have. Tell them how it only takes a moment of their time while they’re watching. I mean, hey, they aren’t actually watching anything yet and so it should be no big deal to scroll down and hit that subscribe button.

Reference your last video
Talk about how well the last video did and thank people for liking it. Reference the link in your description and in your video on how to view it. If you want more likes on it, then tell people to go to it and click that like button.

Now let’s talk about those “likes”.

Likes
Talk about how many likes your last video had and how you want more likes on that video, and the desire to beat the last video with likes on this video.

Promise people if they like this video with X amount of likes, then you’ll upload another video. Beg people to “mash/smash/trash/hammer/etc” that like button in order to drive the likes up to the desired level.

Sharing
Now’s the time to start telling people to share your channel and/or video with other people in order to get even more subscribers and likes. Tell them to share it with everyone they know and have them tell anyone they share the video with to not only like it, but subscribe to the channel as well.

Get them to go onto other channels and link to your videos. You’re going to be doing this yourself as well, but it never hurts to have all your subscribers bomb other videos in order to drive more traffic to your channel, which results in more likes and subscribes.

Talking
You’ll need to do a lot of talking. There is a proper and improper way of doing this to make your channel popular.

Mispronounce common words
When you talk, make sure you say common words incorrectly. The more common and basic a word, the more you have to screw up with how you say it. For example, instead of saying “word” start saying “worb”.

If it’s something to do with a game, such as a proper name, no matter how many times the in-game voice actors say the name, use the wrong pronunciation. Who cares if the creators and original dialect don’t say it the way you do. Fuck them. For example, say “Die ah bLow’ instead of “Dee Awb low” when talking about the series Diablo. Or even the now common, “Bet ah field” instead of “Battle Field” for the Battlefield series.

The more you screw up what you’re saying the better.

Have an accent which is an insult to your region*
This is most important for anyone who is from England. People like a British accent, but even if your version of the accent is the spawn of Satan himself, make sure you talk over everything. The worst you sound, the better for these videos.

If you’re a kid, talk extremely fast with your high pitched voice*
Just like the British accent, the one thing people can’t get enough is a squeaker. There are bonus points here for being a squeaker and having a such a terrible accent you’re almost unintelligible.

Talk over absolutely 100% of the video
As the video plays, you’re going to want to talk over 100% of it. Doesn’t matter if the audio is important or anything like that, just keep talking and don’t stop.

Remember, if you’re doing a Funny/Fail Montage, the video isn’t what people want to see and laugh about, it’s your endless commentary on the subject matter. Don’t let the video stand on its own, because it can’t. You’re funny, not the funny moment.

Ramble on before getting to what’s going on*
You’ll want to ramble on about random things, like someone making you banana bread. Don’t actually talk about the video right away. That cuts down on your video time and that is stupid.

Get distracted by in-game content*
If you’re talking about something in the game or even if you’re doing a montage of some kind, you’ll want to be distracted by things going on in the game, which has nothing to do with what your video is about.

For instance, if you’re talking about a glitch in Skyrim, just randomly start screaming at the NPC’s who are walking by and saying scripting comments. Don’t just focus on what you’re doing, go out of your way to add extra things! People will see this as an added value and not a detraction or annoyance in anyway.

The Clip
The clip or clips you’re showing shouldn’t be any longer than 35 to 45 seconds for actual content. The longer you spend doing everything else, the shorter the content should actually need to be.

For instance, if you’re talking about how to upgrade a skill in Grand Theft Auto: Online, the clip showing how to do it should take about five minutes, when the explanation is actually only about 15 seconds. This is all helped to be stretched out because of what was discussed in “Talking”, so you shouldn’t have an issue at this point.

If you are doing just a quick clip, make sure it’s very quick. Your introduction and ads should be longer than the actual video you want to show.
 
 
Outtro
The outtro is just as important as your intro. If you don’t get this right, you’re going to lose potential subscribers.

Act like it was the best video ever
You must keep up the excitement so people will want to watch more from you. Say something like, “Wow, wasn’t that freaking amazing?!” Then go onto the rest.

Thank people again
Don’t forget to thank your views once again for watching the video. If you don’t, they won’t feel loved after the quick video they just watched and will have forgotten you already thanked them.

Begging
Once again, beg and delay the credits. Remind them to subscribe, like, and comment once again. Don’t forget to tell them to send it out to all their friends and link to the video in other people’s videos.

Credits
These should be a single, static frame which lasts for all of five seconds before the end of the video. There should be no music and no voice over, either.
 
 
Promoting
You need to get your channel out there. Don’t leave it all up to your subscribers, whom you begged, to do it for you. Get out there on every other gaming channel and promote the hell out of your channel. Tell them how you make better ones or ones just as funny and link to yourself. Take it to Twitter and Facebook as well.

Do this three, four, ten times a day on each and every channel on as many of their videos as you can! It’s not spam if it’s content!


Well, there you have it! This comprehensive guide is your gateway to YouTube fame. The success or failure of using this guide is up to you. Follow it, and you’ll go places, kid. You’ll go places. Places I tell you. Places.

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Commander’s Journal – Metro (BF4)

Russian Side

January 16th, 2020
I am happy to have been joined to the task force in France in charge of finally taking the metro station away from the American swine. Fighting in this area has been happening for years, but with a true commander now on site, I know things will change in our favor.

The pathetic Americans have been trapped inside the rotting infrastructure for much too long now and I am sure their moral is crashing. They have only two areas of control left, and I shall rip that from their clutches!

On the day of victory, I shall open up the pallet of vodka I had brought in secretly and my comrades shall drink until we pass out!
 
 
January 19th, 2020
I have arrived at the metro station and am shocked at the destruction. Most of the buildings have been reduced to near ruble and the metro station itself is in shambles. The men, however, are all in high spirits. Their upper position has granted them a remarkable advantage in this fight. From the ungodly high pile of dead enemy soldiers lining the hallways and alleyway, they are doing very well, indeed.

As is tradition, my men have all acquired nicknames and so I address them as such. Squad C’s leader, IGetStfDunn (as he likes to be referred to by), greeted me and began to introduce me to everyone. While he seemed a strong leader, the rest were just your average soldier who was lucky to get the position. When I asked about the incompetency of the other squads, he shrugged and simply stated, “They were the best at drinking vodka.” Nothing new or interesting there.

It was, however, when I became introduced to FunkyMonkey493 I saw a sight to truly behold. He had light brown hair, periwinkle eyes that would light up the room, a strapping jaw which could cut through concrete, a toned upper body which just would make you feel safe because of his strong arms and you’d just want to stay there forever…. Sorry, I find myself rambling at times.
 
 
January 21st, 2020
The fighting is always intense. I make sure to provide drone support to my men. My men mean everything to me. They are my men, after all. Watching them fight gets me so hard…up for battle.

Speaking of drones…how they have been managing to penetrate the deep concrete of the metro to show my men where the enemy is is truly astonishing. Hehe…penetrate…hehe…my men.
 
 
January 27th, 2020
I have been getting to know FunkyMonkey493 much better. Did you know he likes chocolates, killing the enemy, walks on the beach, and vodka? Well, you do now! He’s great. I watch him running about and laughing with my men, especially in the shower. Should a squad leader die, I will promote him to being my top man…or at least to the top of a squad.
 
 
February 2nd, 2020
For the life of me, I can’t figure out why we have engineers and snipers here. All of the fighting has been taking place inside the metro station. The enemy has also taken to the habit of riding the elevators up and down while firing rockets. It’s hilarious! Most of the time they don’t hit any thing except a wall and my gunners chop them to pieces in a matter of seconds. Even though the snipers seem useless, it’s rather entertaining to see them line the elevators with C4 and blow up the enemy as they get inside of it. Crazy thing, them elevators…no matter how much explosive ordinance is placed and detonated inside, they always function. I guess the French got SOMETHING right.

Know who else likes to go up and down it turns out? Yes, that is right: FunkyMonkey493. He has the most excellent trick where he pretends to have a snake bite and…well, I’m rambling again.
 
 
February 11th, 2020
I’m going to ask FunkyMonkey493 to be my Valentine!
 
 
February 14th, 2020
♥FunkeyMonkey493 + Commander = 4 EVR♥ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
February 15th, 2020
I had given the opportunity for FunkyMonkey493 to be a permanent member upon my staff. Of course he said yes.
 
 
February 20th, 2020
I suppose I have been neglecting my other duties, as the enemy has overrun us. How and why is beyond me, but then again, I did stop paying attention to the fighting and focused all my attention on FunkyMonkey493.

As I write this in a prisoner lock-up, I am counting down the time until my conjugal visit promised to me by the Americans. At least they recognize love when they see it, so it’s not all that bad.

Until my next entry, dasvidaniya, comrades!

♥♥FunkeyMonkey493♥♥


Send in your other suggestions and we’ll keep this going.

Commader’s Journal – Hainan Resort (BF4)

July 18th, 2020
I have been deployed to the US base in the south China region known as Hainan Resort. While of course I was aware of the fierce battles going on in the region, a part of me was looking forward to the constant sunshine. Having a base located in a luxury hotel was going to be a nice change of pace from the muddy BIVOUAC sites I was uncomfortably getting used to.

Upon my arrival to Hainan I was introduced to the current ranking team leader, who insisted I call him by his nickname, JimmyJamJamWow123. I was obviously taken back by the strange nickname and refusal acknowledgment of his true name, but whatever…these men have seen hell and I was not going to demoralize them anymore than they already were. The damnedest thing, though, was when I inquired about their previous commander. He and the other men he introduced me to would break into hysterical laughter, but upon realizing I was serious, go immediately quiet and change the subject. Well…whatever…
 
 
July 24th, 2020
During my routine walks amongst the troops I noticed a sudden realization I hadn’t seen most of them. Thinking they were slacking off somewhere, I searched frantically for them, but could not locate the missing ones. I knew they were around, since they showed up for every scheduled chow and first inspection. Since I was still new around this base, I didn’t press the matter too much, as everything seemed to be getting done.
 
 
July 25th, 2020
Today was the first time the enemy attacked us since I arrived! The battle was intense and they rushed us with everything they had. Once again, I was at a loss as to where many of the men were, as the hotel was constantly being overrun, and only a handful of soldiers would appear to defend our base! I was beyond angry as to what I found out what was happening.

I repeatedly issued order after order for air support….oh and I got it…kind of. The jet pilots locked into fierce dog fights, at insanely low altitudes, with the enemy. Insanely low isn’t even the term for it. Remember the scene in Top Gun where they buzzed the tower? Yeah, imagine being on the third floor of a damn hotel room and seeing a fucking formation of jets go screaming past the windows with full guns and missiles firing!!! We lost more fighter pilots to palm trees that day than to enemy fire!

Where were the choppers? …sigh… For some reason, any one is allowed to fly these things! Half of the helicopters were lost in the first five minutes of fighting, and about an eighth of our soldiers, because of some idiot jumping into a chopper, going as fast and high as possible, then bailing out to hang out on the roof! I watched as Blackhawk after Blackhawk raced to the roof of the hotel, full of people, and the pilot would just…he’d…OH GOD!
 
 
August 3rd, 2020
I am up to six lunch beers and thinking of opening a seventh. I…I don’t know how much more I can take. We’re down to one jet and one chopper. JimmyJamJamWow123 and Prokinshires (not his real name) keep assuring me I’m doing a good job, so I just keep promoting them…I mean fuck it, right? Why not…I am the commander after all and their squads are getting the best results.
 
 
August 6th, 2020
A small victory, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!!!!!!!!! I am near bald, and I am drinking fifteen beers a meal, but I AM THE WIZARD KING!!!!!! Using the last helicopter and the last jet, my men rushed to the top of the hotel as we were being attacked and stayed up there! They all picked up sniper rifles and went to town! Sure I lost more than sixty percent of them to a sweeping fire of hell from a chopper, but they managed to hold the enemy back!

As they rushed to the roof, all holding a sniper rifle, I gave them the thumbs up. Perching themselves against the railing, I heard their ultimate battle cry, “MAKE IT RAIN, YOU SOB’S!!!!!!!!” Then, like a mixture of thunder and those little monster snap things wrapped in tissue paper, they repeatedly began to fire their DMR’s and straight pull sniper rifles. CARNAGE!! CAAAAAARNAGE!!!! I feel sorry for that one, poor, dear ammo totting soldier supporting them. He died of a heart attack an hour into the battle just running back and forth giving them ammo. I also had no idea one medic could resurrect over one hundred people in fifteen minutes with just one defibrillator! I will miss that kid…he was good.
 
 
August 7th, 2020
As we cleaned up the bodies of the fallen enemy off our door steps, some of the soldiers began to pull their pants down and repeatedly squat, putting their genitals against the mouth of the dead enemy, while shouting racist slurs. Freaking hilarious…another beer…and this heroin is AWESOME!
 
 
September 1st, 2020
They’re coming to take me away, hehee, the men in their little white jackets, HEHHOOOOO!!!!!