What to actually do in a relationship

Yeah, this is kind of a response to something on another Xanga about the Top 10 Tings Not To Do In A Relationship.  Well, this is the actual list which will give you the edge in a relationship.

1)  Don’t let them think your kisses are only for them
This makes them feel special.  Let them think you’ll go out and kiss other people.  Just don’t do it…unless you have the opportunity with someone much hotter.  Let them know you can have someone else in the back pocket by the end of the week if they aren’t willing to play ball.

2)  Use your Special Other’s (S/O) hot family for a date when your S/O is away
If you need a date, at least ask your S/O’s hot family member out.  Spring it on them, too, and if at all possible, keep it a secret yourself so it spills out at a family get together they have later on.  Besides, if you’re dating someone who isn’t giving it up and you nail their hot relative, that’ll teach ’em good.

3)  Don’t date a Psychopath
No one is going to argue that psycho bitch sex isn’t some of the best you can ever have.  What you need to understand is that you shouldn’t be dating them.  Sexing them up over and over isn’t the same thing as going on dates, buying them gifts, and letting them stay over at your place.

Don’t let them meet your family, either.  The last thing you want them to think is that you’re willing to get serious with them.  Watch their eyes…psycho eyes are easy to spot.

4)  Don’t immediately answer your S/O’s phone calls/texts/e-mails/etc
No one likes a nagger.  Chances are, you’re going to be nagging your special someone when you are contacting them so much.  More than likely, you’re not someone that’s all that great to talk to.  Trust me on this: Just because you found someone doesn’t mean they want to listen to you bitch or talk about how great your nails are.

On a related note, you don’t want to ignore them completely.  Just let them know that you aren’t as interested as they think you should be.  After a while, they will shut the hell up and leave you be, meaning you have more time for the good stuff.

5)  Don’t give your S/O all your attention in public
Ignoring them makes them feel completely worthless, and this is a key point in a relationship.  As a man, you don’t want her to think she’s great, because she’ll look for someone better than you, even if she isn’t capable of getting it…no, especially if she isn’t capable of getting it.  Oh, and as a guy, trust me, you are never going to find a chick as hot as the one you are currently dating, so don’t think you’re going to go out there and find better.  You aren’t.

6)  Don’t let your emotions out
If you are feeling hurt or angry, don’t keep it inside and let it fester for months.  That is the only time you should let it out and throw it in their face.  Most people are dumb founded when this happens and it lets you get it out.

Any other time, keep your mouth shut.  The person who cares the most in a relationship is the weak link and at the disadvantage.  The person who doesn’t care as much has the power of the other person.  The best relationship you can have is when you don’t care as much, and as such, have no chance of getting hurt.

Another advantage to keeping your mouth shut is they will try ever harder each day to convince you to feel otherwise.  This means more gifts for you girls and more sex for you guys.

7)  Don’t hang on every word
Act like you’re listening, but let them know you’ve tuned them out.  Like anyone got into a relationship because someone was great to talk to…

8)  NEVER take the blame
Things are the other person’s fault most of the time.  Don’t yell because domestic violence laws are getting to the point where you can’t argue vocally anymore.  If someone else is at fault, make sure they know it and point it out in a logical sense.  Not chick logic, but actual logic.

Men state what they mean.  We don’t speak in riddles or have other motives.  If we ask, “What?” we mean “What?”  Don’t read into anything except face value.

9)  Stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy if sex is good
Don’t leave a relationship when the sex is killer.  Don’t do it.  The sex is good, so don’t leave.  Make sure you understand in your mind the relationship part is over, so you have other options.

The key here is to let them think they’re still in a relationship when you really aren’t.  This keeps that sex coming and makes the inevitable break up all that more tragic when she finds out you’re fucking her friend.

10)  Don’t get in a relationship as early and young as possible
Don’t be stupid and have a relationship in your young college years…shit even before 30 for you guys and maybe 24 for you women.  It’s the worst thing you can do.

Posted 3/29/2010 at 2:11 AM on Xanga