A change in lifestyle for a better life (Anyone can do it!)

Hello there, fellow Ramblers! Isn’t life wonderful? I sure know it is! I’ve been shown the light in my dark ways and have finally decided to do something about it: Change my lifestyle for a better life! Want to know the secret? The secret is that it’s no secret! ANYONE CAN DO THIS!

You see, I used to love fatty foods, sugar filled foods, and even caffeine. I’ve decided to cut all of that out and eat only bland foods. You see, with foods having no flavor, I have no drive to eat them. This in turn causes a lot of weight loss and prevention of gluttony. Things like celery and iceberg lettuce is key here. Eat a lot of it. Don’t add peanut butter, though, as it has sugar and flavor. Don’t eat meat, because meat is murder. Don’t believe me? Meat actually stands for Murder Every Animal Today! It’s TRUE! GOOGLE IT! The devil is in the details and the devil is what is making you desire it all.

I’ve also started to partake in more outdoor activities. Here I am sneaking up a deer, our friend in the animal kingdom. Exercise is a great way of getting exercise when you don’t even know it’s happening. By utilizing exercise, you’re losing more weight and working off your lettuce and celery. That’s SUPER important. Also with exercise, especially when you don’t know you’re getting exercise, you’ll meet lots of great people! Just like the people I met who helped me get into better exercise and understand my terrible way of life! It’s as if my brain has been scrubbed spotless and I’m all shiny inside now.

Something else I’ve been made to understand is sarcasm is deadly, deadly, deadly, and unwanted! You should never be sarcastic. It hurt’s people’s feelings and you’re not just lying to everyone you’re talking to, but to yourself as well. No one likes to be lied to, and that includes yourself to yourself. Talk about being rude! You shouldn’t do it. Just be honest. Unless you’re talking to the government, then just don’t talk. NEVER TALK! They’ll try, but you don’t want that to happen. Just keep your mouth shut! That’s like…six of the twenty rules I learned.

I’ve decided I needed guns. Lots and lots of guns. No, seriously, more guns. More guns than that. Having them for zombies is silly, unless you’re talking about the corporate zombies out there taking our wealth and not sharing it with the rest of us! I mean, come on! One of the first things you learn is a child is how to share, and these fat cats and government a-holes are hoarding it from us one penny at a time. We must all come to terms with this and take back what is rightfully ours! Well, it’s theirs, but it should be ours! ONE, TWO, TREE FOUR! ESCALATE THE CLASS WAR! FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT! KILL THE BOSSES AND FIGHT THE STATE!

With just a few easy changes to your life, you, too, can achieve this happiness! Join me and my new friends now. We’ll love to have you!


No Gods, No Masters!

So…April Fool’s Day…

Argh, so, April Fool’s Day…  Normally I love this day and get people good.

While I can boast the first prank of the day, a damn good one at that, I cannot claim the best one…sadly.  I may of had my bestfriend going for twenty five minutes with the help of a little angel, he completely twisted it around and had me/us freaking out for HOURS on end.

All day long I kept checking MySpace to see if I was getting messages, watching my phone, trying to call the person who was “freaking out”, trying to call my brother, but getting no answers.  All I could think was that since he (best friend) didn’t get to say, “APRIL FOOLS!” to Mike hell was going to uproot and land on Earth.  Since Mike didn’t know it was a joke, he was going to call Matt.  When Matt would hear about it, be it from Mike or from his voice mail, my father was going to hear it and freak out because Matt would have told him.  Now, I may be 26 years old, but when my father starts panicking or freaking out over something, I still can’t find a good way to get him to understand.  Had my father heard what the joke was not realizing it was a joke, it would have been a week to convince him that 99% about it is a joke.

Not fifteen minutes before midnight my time does Don finally let me know that this entire time…he and Mike were using the prank from 3AM that morning played on him, against us…  Holy fucking hell, I can’t believe I/we fell for it…at the same time…

The only thing left now is to start planning a payback for next April first and get them plus many others at the exact same time.  Hell, at least we were able to pull that prank on quite a few people.  *laughs a bit* With a lot of recurring themes in what they had to say about it.
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Posted 4/2/2007 at 8:10 PM on Xanga