January 16th, 2020
I am happy to have been joined to the task force in France in charge of finally taking the metro station away from the American swine. Fighting in this area has been happening for years, but with a true commander now on site, I know things will change in our favor.
The pathetic Americans have been trapped inside the rotting infrastructure for much too long now and I am sure their moral is crashing. They have only two areas of control left, and I shall rip that from their clutches!
On the day of victory, I shall open up the pallet of vodka I had brought in secretly and my comrades shall drink until we pass out!
January 19th, 2020
I have arrived at the metro station and am shocked at the destruction. Most of the buildings have been reduced to near ruble and the metro station itself is in shambles. The men, however, are all in high spirits. Their upper position has granted them a remarkable advantage in this fight. From the ungodly high pile of dead enemy soldiers lining the hallways and alleyway, they are doing very well, indeed.
As is tradition, my men have all acquired nicknames and so I address them as such. Squad C’s leader, IGetStfDunn (as he likes to be referred to by), greeted me and began to introduce me to everyone. While he seemed a strong leader, the rest were just your average soldier who was lucky to get the position. When I asked about the incompetency of the other squads, he shrugged and simply stated, “They were the best at drinking vodka.” Nothing new or interesting there.
It was, however, when I became introduced to FunkyMonkey493 I saw a sight to truly behold. He had light brown hair, periwinkle eyes that would light up the room, a strapping jaw which could cut through concrete, a toned upper body which just would make you feel safe because of his strong arms and you’d just want to stay there forever…. Sorry, I find myself rambling at times.
January 21st, 2020
The fighting is always intense. I make sure to provide drone support to my men. My men mean everything to me. They are my men, after all. Watching them fight gets me so hard…up for battle.
Speaking of drones…how they have been managing to penetrate the deep concrete of the metro to show my men where the enemy is is truly astonishing. Hehe…penetrate…hehe…my men.
January 27th, 2020
I have been getting to know FunkyMonkey493 much better. Did you know he likes chocolates, killing the enemy, walks on the beach, and vodka? Well, you do now! He’s great. I watch him running about and laughing with my men, especially in the shower. Should a squad leader die, I will promote him to being my top man…or at least to the top of a squad.
February 2nd, 2020
For the life of me, I can’t figure out why we have engineers and snipers here. All of the fighting has been taking place inside the metro station. The enemy has also taken to the habit of riding the elevators up and down while firing rockets. It’s hilarious! Most of the time they don’t hit any thing except a wall and my gunners chop them to pieces in a matter of seconds. Even though the snipers seem useless, it’s rather entertaining to see them line the elevators with C4 and blow up the enemy as they get inside of it. Crazy thing, them elevators…no matter how much explosive ordinance is placed and detonated inside, they always function. I guess the French got SOMETHING right.
Know who else likes to go up and down it turns out? Yes, that is right: FunkyMonkey493. He has the most excellent trick where he pretends to have a snake bite and…well, I’m rambling again.
February 11th, 2020
I’m going to ask FunkyMonkey493 to be my Valentine!
February 14th, 2020
♥FunkeyMonkey493 + Commander = 4 EVR♥ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 15th, 2020
I had given the opportunity for FunkyMonkey493 to be a permanent member upon my staff. Of course he said yes.
February 20th, 2020
I suppose I have been neglecting my other duties, as the enemy has overrun us. How and why is beyond me, but then again, I did stop paying attention to the fighting and focused all my attention on FunkyMonkey493.
As I write this in a prisoner lock-up, I am counting down the time until my conjugal visit promised to me by the Americans. At least they recognize love when they see it, so it’s not all that bad.
Until my next entry, dasvidaniya, comrades!
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