Rockstar Games announces GTA Online Realism update!


Grand Theft Auto has gained a reputation as being an incredible open world sand box game ever since the GTA 3. Some of the more recent games, however, haven’t been without their critics and problems, but things are beginning to smooth out. With the release of GTA V’s online mode, Rockstar Games has bombarded players with constant updates and new content in order to have even more fun. Rockstar Games has been relying on fans for making content and they have once again listened to complaints…but is it going to be fun?

While there has been a very vocal minority over how “too realsitic” GTA has become, most people felt the added realism made the experience that much more immersive. True the police online are extremely too aggressive and the low amounts of money given to players for doing odd jobs is laughable, however, everything else in the online mode has been extremely fun. Singleplayer is great for the story, and online is the best place to mess around with friends.

Unfortunately, things look like they’re about to take a step backwards in the fun department and further real players back from causing destruction. Rockstar Games has introduced their “Realism Update”, part of their on-going free expansion packs in the vain of Beach Bum and High Life. As a gamer myself, I don’t agree with the changes they are introducing. Here’s the changes coming to GTA Online.


Neighbors

  • Other players and NPC’s can now be seen roaming the hallways of your condos.
  • Players without condos and have houses instead should be mindful of closing their blinds in rooms while changing, else others can watch them and take pictures.
  • NPC’s and other players can call the police to register noise complaints against you. Be mindful how loud your TV and radio systems are, and don’t go running around your condo all the time. You have to be respectful to others!

 
 

Equal Rights

  • Players will have the ability to choose LBGT for their characters.
  • Players with LBGT selected will have to “live the lifestyle” by getting married to another LBGT character of the same sex. Every three in-game days, the LBGT characters must engage in some LBGT action or they will be flagged as pretenders.
  • Any player caught assaulting another character with the LBGT selected will get themselves a hate crime marker.
  • Players pretending to be LBGT in order to by-pass the hate crime markers will be flagged.
  • After three flags and/or hate crime markers, the player will be placed into a “Tolerance Server” and will only be able to play with LBGT NPC’s. If the player does not harm the NPC’s over the course of one real week, they will be once again allowed to participate in regular servers. This temporary ban is account wide.
  • If the player continues to hurt the NPC’s, they will be warned their continued actions will result in their account permanently tied to the “Tolerance Server” and never be allowed to play on other servers. Additionally, their account information will be turned over to the NSA, NAACP, and other groups for monitoring and shaming.

 
 
Taxes

  • Once every in-game year the player will be responsible for filing taxes.
  • Players are encouraged to keep track of their dealings on missions and other events in order to file correctly.
  • Failing to file the proper taxes will results in a raid on your properties.

 
 

Brady Checks and cooling off periods required on all firearm purchases

  • Because guns are bad, scary, kill people, and we must protect the children, players must perform a background check on all firearm purchases in-game.
  • A mandatory “cooling off” period of 10 in-game days is required before the check is performed.
  • After the 10 in-game cooling off period is complete, the FIB/Agency will then have up to three further in-game days to approve or deny your firearm purchase.
  • Be careful of your character names, as a similar name to another player with a criminal record may cause you to be delayed.
  • Characters which have a criminal record will no longer be able to purchase a firearm in the Ammu-Nation stores and must find them on the street.
  • If a character with a criminal record does attempt to purchase a firearm at Ammu-Nation and they are denied, an instant three star wanted level will occur. Even if the stars are out run, the characters will continue to be hunted by police and chased on sight until they are wasted by the police or FIB. Please keep in mind, other players killing you will not cause your character to lose the three star wanted level nor the police tracking.

 
 
Chocolatotaco

  • The Chocolatotaco is now available for player consumption.
  • Eating of the Chocolatotaco will slightly decrease the user’s stamina. This is to help the players make better choices for their in-game snacks.
  • Thank you, Michelle Obama!

 
 

In-game licensed products

  • Rockstar Games is proud to announce real life products will be available for purchase in-game!
  • The first available will be with the glorious and perfect Starbucks® with many more to follow.
  • All Bean Machine coffee stores and cups will now be retrofit with Starbucks® for players to enjoy.
  • Keep in mind the prices of all Starbucks® beverages will be adjusted accordingly with real-life to GTA$ conversion. A small in-game beverage will cost the player GTA$10. Pricing will be available for all others in-game.
  • Players will have the ability to make their order as simple or complicated as they wish, so remember your wait time behind another character will vary greatly. This is especially true if the NPC or player is highly demanding in the exact specifications of their perfect, glorious Starbucks® beverage.

 
 

Objectivity

  • All women will now be topless.
  • All men will now be bottomless.

Well, there you guys have it. Those are the new “Realism Update” patch notes. I don’t know if most of those are going to be good for the game or not. Personally, I don’t think they are. I mean…do I really want to run around with my dork hanging out all the time. Okay…so that’s a resounding, “YES!!!!!“, but still…

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