Bitch at Chili’s

My wife and I decided to brave the heavy Friday crowds for restaurants around here.  We were not disappointed with the crowd when we arrived, but figured the wait would be worth it.

Well, there was a couple in front of us, a rather heavy woman and her much thinner male counterpart, and I figured they were waiting to put in their names on the wait list.  Nope…a man came up and introduced himself as the manager setting the woman off.

Woman: I have been waiting fifteen minutes for a place to sit!  It is just me and my husband here, but I’m being told I have to wait to be seated!  FIFTEEN MINUTES!  Why can’t I sit over there?!  It’s an open seat!  I was told they were pushing it together for a six top!!!!

Manager: Ma’am, yes, there are four groups ahead of you.  We are going to push the table up to the booth in order to create a sit for six people.  What you…

Woman: I DO NOT CARE!  FIFTEEN MINUTES!  SEAT ME FIRST!  I do NOT approve of this behavior!  You and your staff are EXTREMELY RUDE and that little bitch right there *pointing at a hostess we normally see there, who is polite and just now walked up* has been nothing but TERRIBLE!  Maybe you need to just give me your god damn phone number to the district manager so I can scream at him, too!  I AM GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE MY BUSINESS SOME PLACE ELSE!

Now, the entire time, the husband was quiet, since his large wife obviously was in charge of everything.  The manager was literally laughing, but smiling, not saying a word, shaking his head.

I was just about to say: Oh, thank god!  That means one less group for us to wait for!

I was also ready to help tackle this lady if she got any closer to the manager and made the situation physical.  I look over at my wife, who is also about to speak, but the manager grabs a few menus and just laughs.

Manager: Ma’am, follow me since you don’t care about anyone else.

The host looks at and sighs.

Host: Sorry you had to see that…

Me: *laughing* Oh no, I was just thinking about what a bitch she is.  I was hoping the little froggy was going to jump.  I had a good day and thought it was about to get better.

Host: *laughs* Yeah…how many will there be and what’s the name?

Me: It’ll be [Name] and just me and my wife *raising my voice sounding regal and putting my jacket around my neck like a cape* CLEAR ONE OF THE OTHER’S TABLES!  FOR I AM KING, AND WINTER IS HERE!

The people around us laugh, we’re told it’ll only be 10 minutes (it was five).  When the poor female hostess comes back, I gave her a five dollar tip and tell her how great she’s always been to us.  I later told the manager how great his staff has always been, and made sure to fill out their survey with high praise.

When we ordered dessert, our chessecake was literally 2.5x the size of a normal slice!

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