Morning people can suck it

Morning people…they piss me the hell off.  Other than being alive, there is nothing good about just waking up and there is no good reason these people should be so full of energy.  The worst of these people will try to pull you into their god awful happy place with them while berating you for not feeling the same.

I only have one thing to say to these people:

Fuck you…twice!

What the hell is so great about being up at five in the morning to be at work at six?  Shut the fuck up with your overly happy “Good morning!”  There is nothing good about it.  You might be happy and cheery in the morning for no good reason, but that doesn’t mean the majority of the world is.  If you know someone isn’t 100% functional right out of bed and at work first thing in the morning, leave them the hell alone!  Don’t sit there and poke fun or berate the person for not skipping and farting sunshine like you are.  Trust me, you’re playing with fire while teasing a tiger.  Do yourself a favor and stop it.

There are some jobs which require an individual to be awake and aware right out of sleep…Medical services, emergency police response off hours, fire fighters…things of that nature.  However, most people do not have these jobs for obvious reasons.  No, most people are stuck in a cubical smaller than an average jail cell or have to deal with the public by selling horribly made retail goods.  For these people, the status of their awareness after just waking up is meaningless.  Those people don’t have to be 100% functional or happy…for any reason, first thing in the morning or not.

Here’s a quick list of things to do instead of acting like an overly joyous dipshit who is obviously hiding in their own La-la-land in order to mask their otherwise miserable life:

1. Just shut the fuck up
2. Leave it at “Good morning!”
3. Shut the fuck up
4. Wave
5. Shut the fuck up
6. Shut the fuck up

Any of those will do nicely, especially 1, 3, 5, and 6.  Follow that list and you’ll be less likely to get punched in the face, have hot coffee thrown in your eyes, or even stabbed.

Posted 7/24/2012 at 12:48 AM on Xanga


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