I’m not hitting on you! (s)

I am not hitting on you.  You may be attractive, sweet, or nice, but honestly, don’t go getting so full of yourself.  Yes, I understand that I can be a very flirty person by nature.  Trust me, I’ve been told.  The issue here is, you assume that I am interested in you because I’m being talkative and nice without giving a lot of my own personality away.  This does not mean I have a romantic nor sexual interest in you.  We just happen to be in the same job space/class/lab/line at the market/line at an amusement park/line in a fast food place which is taking too long.  Chances are, you just happen to be the closest person to me at the time.

Now, I’m not so arrogant as to think you’d be interested in me, either.  You’re probably not my type anyway.  There is no reason for me to assume you would think I’m hitting on you except for some signals you’re throwing my way.  What is making me think you believe I am hitting on you are the things you are beginning to say or do which has no barring on the actual conversation here.  When I’m more than two body spaces from you and you think I’m saying something funny, you don’t have to put your arm up in a locked bar position to make sure I don’t try to move closer…I’m not and I’m practically out of your arm’s reach as it is.  Must you make the comment, “Yeah, my boyfriend/fiance/husband…” in regards to something you believe came into common ground between us?

Stop being so defensive.  I’m not the type of person who needs to be taught he’s not God’s gift to women by you, as the notion I would think such a thing to begin with is laughable.  Not every man is trying to pick you up and by acting in such a manner, you are coming across as an over self-esteemed bitch and not someone I was just striking up a conversation with.

I am a friendly person and would just as easily struck up a conversation with a male in the same situation.  I get that I come across confident, but that’s what happens when you run into a man and not a kid or a sensitive type.  If I’m coming across as confident or even with a little bit of ego, then the illusion is complete and the personality I want to put out is working.  Even if you were interested in me, this conversation would simply end the exact same way: I will walk away, giving no indication of wishing to have received your phone number nor your name.

Oh, that’s right, you just realized I never asked for it.  How silly you must now feel with how you treated someone just talking to you.  After all, had I been interested, I would have made some attempt at acquiring that information, would I have not?  Come to think of it…if we are in the same class/lab/job together I’ve never once inquired about what times you might be available nor have I even questioned what you do for fun.  That would be awfully pertinent information for me to have inquired about if I was interested.

So, please, get over yourself and drop your guard.  Don’t worry, should I ever see you in the future, I will be sure to avoid you because you are just no fun and have the ability to interact with people as well as a gold fish kept as a pet by someone other than myself.  Unless, of course, I’m forced to converse with you in a group environment.  Again, don’t mistake the requirement of me having to speak to you as a sign of interest.  I am simply doing what is expected of me and I don’t wish to appear rude.

You see, I am simply just one hell of a personable individual.

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Posted 9/11/2011 at 10:21 PM on xanga

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