Seriously now. It’s three days until Christmas Day, people. It’s the only holiday left in this year. Stop with this “politically correct” bullshit and say “Merry Christmas”, not “Happy Holidays” to people or don’t say a god damn thing at all.
You’re not in politics and talking to me isn’t a political situation. Even if you were, you shouldn’t be afraid to state your personal beliefs! There is absolutely no reason why you need to tell me to have happy holidays after Thanksgiving. I’m only going to be celebrating one other holiday after Thanksgiving. It’s not like I’m going to be celebrating Hanukkah and then Christmas. I’m also obviously not going to be celebrating the made up Kwanzaa.
Where you people are screwing up massively in this “Have a happy holiday!” bullshit is assuming that I’m even going to be celebrating Christmas. By wishing me a “Happy Holiday”, meaning the upcoming Christmas, you’re assuming that’s what I’m going to be celebrating. For all you know, I celebrated Hanukkah. Not all Jewish sects wear yarmulke all the time, morons. By wishing me a happy holiday, you’d still be offending me. You may as well just say merry Christmas, or rather happy Christmas, at that point because you’re implying the same exact thing.
(I know this is a little slow on the start, but give me a few paragraphs. It’s been some time since I last wrote)
What’s so scary about Christmas? Oh, that’s right, most of you people are afraid of Christianity. After all, Christianity, or rather the belief in the Bible as the word of God and a one true God, gives a road map of morals and ethics. For shame that anyone ever tell you what to do or how to live. After all, you’re a grown ass adult and not a child, right? For those out there that are Christians (hell, you Catholics, too) who are not saying it at this point are afraid of being attacked or berated by people who are not Christians for expressing a “Christian belief”. You sicken me and I’m sure Jesus isn’t too happy about it either. Bet you’re tolerant of baby bombing Muslims, though.
If Christmas is so terrible, then why are the malls closed on Christmas? If Christmas is such a scary time, then why do people get paid for it with “holiday pay” even when they don’t work? If Christmas is such a dirty word, then why do we see Christmas lights put up all over town, even by H.O.A.’s? What’s so offensive about a baby Jew in a manager next to a horse, anyway? Most other religious holidays don’t involve doing any of that. Let’s not forget that Christmas isn’t really a Christian holiday as much as it is an American tradition. Yes, you heard me, you rat bastards. It’s not a Christian holiday here in America, it’s an American holiday. Most of what we identify as Christmas decorations have nothing to do with Christianity. I don’t remember reading that the magi hung up decorations, sang carols, and set up a pine tree in the fucking manger. Don’t bother going to read the Bible to check. Trust me, it’s not in there.
If you look at the history of Christmas, especially Christmas in America, you’ll see that most of what we do here in America is something that we Americans have made up. I’m not saying that Christmas was always like that. I know it wasn’t. I’m talking about now.
Then there’s also the issue that even most of you anti-religion, anti-god, hate-the-Christians-but-hug-a-person-who-puts-bombs-on-a-baby-Muslim sickos still celebrate Christmas. You still set up decorations, you still go out and buy a crap ton of presents for people, and still open those gifts up on December 25th. Yeah, you people are the worst. You people are the ones who want to relentlessly beat tolerance into everyone’s head, but the minute you don’t like something, you get to bitch and complain, go to court, and sue because a god damn pine tree has a star on it. Fuck you five times with a moblin’s three dick crotch. Don’t get the reference? Too bad, ignorant bastard. You probably think the Nazis were a right wing group, too.
Look, I love Christmas. I even love Easter, though I don’t celebrate it. That’s right, I celebrate Pass Over, but don’t try and side track me here. Christmas time is the shit! The only thing I like more than Christmas time is Halloween. Ironic? Only if you’re an uneducated bastard…like most of you getting offended at this entry and supporting the “What’s wrong with Happy Holidays???” crowd. Carol of the Bells is probably one of the best Christmas songs out there, and when it’s done in a Victorian Gothic style choir, that’s even better. Hell, I even blast the Trans Siberian Orchestra version of it when I get the time.
Don’t even get me started on the Charley Brown Christmas Special. Awesome. Almost as bad ass as the Muppets Christmas Carol. Gonzo and Rizzo as narrators with Michael Cain as Scrooge? EPIC! The old Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer stop motion special and Frosty the Snowman cartoon? That’s just classic. Chopping down a tree, decorating it, and letting it slowly rot in your living room? Well, that’s just the most manly thing you can do to a tree. It’s like, “Hey, tree, I just killed you, dressed you up, and I’m going to watch you rot far away from home. So, fuck you.”
Yes, I can hear some of you morons now, “Sunrie! There’s still New Years!” Guess what? New Years isn’t an actual holiday and it’s the start of a new year. Don’t you get that? It’s the damn name of the celebration for crying out loud! So, get off that, because if you bring it up I will make fun of you so damn much that you’ll go crying to WordPress or even the government about how mean I am. No, you know what? Let me just draft that up for you right now:
Dear WordPress Administration/Government,
This is about a user named Sunrie. He expresses an opinion which greatly differs from mine and that offends me. Like, greatly offends me. It offends me so bad that I cried harder than an African woman who just watched her entire family get carpet bombed in a tribe war.
Can you please delete his account/arrest him? I believe that we should all have the right to say and feel the way that I think is the right way, and if you don’t then you should be removed. Thank you, I greatly appreciate it.
(Put your Username)
P.S. If you don’t do this, then I will write an entry about how you guys don’t care about anyone.
Well, with all that said and done, I’m out of here. I know I haven’t written in a while, but that’s because I’ve been moving, working on animation projects, and having great sex with my 18 year old girlfriend. Yeah, that’s right. You keep hating more because I’m 30 and banging a pretty 18 year old. Merry Christmas! As a gift, here’s a pallet cleanser:
Foamy courtesy of Ill Will Press
Posted 12/23/2010 at 1:32 PM on Xanga