WTF is wrong with you Colorado people and directions?!

Okay, I have to ask..what is it with people in Colorado that makes them give the absolutely worst directions…ever? I’ve never heard of people giving these types of directions in my life…

Okay, seriously, I’m sick and tired of being told to turn “east”, “west”, “south”, or “north”. What ever happened to turning LEFT or RIGHT?! I don’t have a freaking compass in my car and I’m not a bird. I have a good sense of direction, but I can’t be bothered to figure out navigational points while I’m trying to find a location.

It’s not just people…it’s directions off of the Internet, too! MapQuest…Yahoo Maps…it doesn’t matter. Why? Because the directions are added by people who live in Colorado…and since they can’t give directions as it is, everyone is screwed.

Here’s a true story…someone was asking me directions from his location, and this is how the conversation went.

“Well, I’m coming from Inverness Parkway.”-Him

“Okay, you’re going to want to take the I-25 south, towards Colorado Springs. Take the Lincolns Street exit and stay in the far right lane. Turn right off the free way and…”-Me (interrupted)

“Well, what direction is that?”-Him

“…excuse me?”-Me (confused as hell)

“Well, is that east or west?”-Him

“…sir…raise your right hand…”-Me

“Uh…okay…*does so*”-Him

“When you get to the exit of the freeway, turn that way. Okay?”-Me

This dude was actually confused because I didn’t tell him East or West… I mean…seriously, Colorado people?

The thing is, he’s not the last person I’ve done this with…

“…and how do I get there, officer?”-Another Him

“You’ll continue back down the road the opposite way you were just coming from, sir. Go to XXX and you’ll see a Shell station on the right and to the left is a Wendy’s. Turn left towards the Wendy’s and then take XXX which is on the right.”-Me

“…am I turning…uh…East or North that first time?”-Another Him

“Sir…when you see the Wendy’s hold up your left hand and turn that way. After the turn, hold up your right hand and turn that way. You can’t miss it.”-Me (laughing and being friendly)

“Oh…yeah, sorry, I guess that did sound kind of silly…”-Another Him (laughing)

Really, it’s stupid.

What I particularly love about Colorado directions when using the Internet is being told, “Exit at XXX/Exit #XXX and continue going straight. Exit onto (made up for this) CO-E87 and go North.” Well…guess what? I’m on a northbound freeway, exiting the freeway…and the street is going EAST AND WEST! Does it say to turn left or right off the freeway? No, it tells me to go north on an east bound interstate!

I have gotten lost so many damn times because of this and it’s driving me freaking crazy. It’s one of those things that makes me want to chew on some glass and spit it in a puppy’s face.

Really…can we start saying “turn left/turn right”, Colorado people? It only makes sense. If you turn left, no matter which way you’re facing, left is always left and right is always right…come on!

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Posted 10/17/2008 at 12:59 AM on Xanga

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