Desperate for a date MySpace psycho attack

Desperate For a Date Psycho Attack!

       It’s 1:55PM Pacific Standard Time, the year is 2006, and I just finished deleting my third porn spam of the day.  Over the past two weeks I have recieved 23 such items.  Well, suddenly there is an e-mail from some chick.  Since I don’t have the original e-mail, I’ll just have to summarize it and say it was asking to meet up with me in Colorado.  At first I was just telling her off.  Since she came back for more, I took it up a notch and decided to kind of make fun of her while giving her several chances to end it all…which she didn’t.  I decided to just start pranking on her really hard.  Here is the first of what is sure to be many e-mail conversations from MySpace.    As if it’s not obvious enough, understand that the “running commentary” is all a joke.  I didn’t once ever actually want this chick to want my jock nor did I want to meet her.  I’ll probably get some funny ass e-mails out of this that I will be able to place on the other section of “Welcome to My Face”, though!  

Checking the profile made me start laughing my ass off.  I thought it was another fake MySpace message to get me into a porn spam list.  Instead, it’s much…much worse…or funnier, depending on you look at it.  Turns out, it’s some 23 year old single mother of two, still going through a divorce, and “so ready to date”!  For some reason, having put I live in Colorado started a flood of such messages.

            ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
     From:       (USERNAME OMMITTED)
     Date:      Jan 7, 2006 1:55 PM
Look, take care of your children.  Don't be selfish.  Wait until they are 18 before you start dating again.If you weren't 23 with two kids, I'd have a different reply, possibly, but absolutely not.  

With my peace said, I figured there was one of two things that would happen-

  1. She’d ignore me
  2. She’d be so turned on that she couldn’t POSSIBLY resist me now!
After all, women LOVE the truth right?  That’s why they always admitt when they are on or off the pill truthfully and why all men can trust them.  Boy, I was hoping she wanted me so I had someone to talk to!

     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       Christine
      Date:      Jan 7, 2006 2:21 PM

I dont really know what your problem is but all im looking for is friends nothing more. My kids are my world an I do everything for them. If you're to good to make a friend i'm sorry but thats really shallow of you.  

YES!  She wanted me!!!  I could tell that I was going to get everywhere fast with this chick, so I had to turn up the charm, or I’d lose this beauty!  I mean…she obviously has many charms about her.  So, I did what I knew I had to do!


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       (USERNAME OMMITTED)
     Jan 7, 2006 2:35 PM

Shallow?  That took balls, sweetheart.  Obviously, your kids aren't your world.

You're not looking for "friends".  Your profile tells another story.

Admittedly from your profile, you claim you want someone to come home to.  YOU DO have someone to come home to.  TWO someones, actually.  If they were your world, you would focus on them instead of building up your MySpace and looking for "just friends".

Also, according to you, you're not even through the divorce and you are "so ready to get back into dating again".  

My problem is women and people like you.  You're right in saying that your children should be your life, well, get off of MySpace and looking for male friends.  Take care of the crumb munchers with the best job you can on a high school education.

You're 23 with two kids...why the hell did you decide to start thinking NOW?  

By the way, are they even from the same daddy?  

PHEW!  Crises AVERTED!  There was no way in fucking hell now that the bitch was going to resist ME!  I mean, come on!  I’m the fucking down and dirty, sweet talking homie!  With lines like that, who could possibly resist me?  Shit, I know just by reading this the males in my audience are taking notes as we speak.  Hell, some are taking notes as I type this…now THAT is fucking dedication!


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       Christine
      Date:      Jan 7, 2006 2:44 PM

for your information I am in college, an no they're aren't from the same father to tell you the truth if you must know when I lived here in Denver about 7 years ago right before I moved I was Raped my 8 guys only one in which I knew. I got pregnant an wouldnt give up a life by killing him by abortion, an i wouldnt just give him away to someone who wouldn't treat him right. I got through school though no one said I could with a child at 16. I am the only child,grand child, great grandchild in my family to ever graduate an with a kid on top of that. do dont tell me I can't do anything. an yes my other son was from my ex husband whom I only saw once in awhile when he was home from work an not sleeping around. an on top of that i usually didnt want him home that often becouse i didnt enjoy getting the shit beat out of me for no reason. so yes I do want my devorce final an I want friends an yes I do want male friends so I can show my kids that not all guys are pieces of shit.  

She sure has a lot to say…and to me no less!  Throw in the fact that she responded so quickly, and you have a damn fine recipe for hot lovin’!  Which is EXACTLY what I knew she wanted.  The entire tenth time I read this, having needed to make sure I understood all the “hot lovin’ action” she was promising me, I knew that I couldn’t just reply with some kind of geeky dribble.  Sure she’s smart and must have a hundered I.Q. points on me, but I couldn’t go off on a nerd’s tirade.  No, this would take finess!


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       (USERNAME OMMITTED)
      Date: Jan 7, 2006 3:04 PM

*can't stop laughing*  Okay....okay okay...let me read between the lines on this one and tell you what you already know, which is what really happened with all this.

I'm not saying you can't do ANYTHING, I'm just saying to be a mommy.  You owe it to your children.

You fucked some guy, called rape, and he ended up in prison now.  You didn't get an abortion for one reason or another, which is probably to further stick it to this poor guy.  Seems like you have a family history of this kind of thing as well, from what you're saying.

Saw him once in a while?  Sounds like he was in the military or something like a truck driver.  I know your kind.  Saw it all the time as Military Police when I was in the Army. 

Why did he sleep around, if he even did to begin with?  Probably got tired of your lazy ass telling him to make his own dinner, crying that you don't have enough money, telling him that your parents say you could do better, saying your friends mention you deserve more than him, and two screaming kids who are out of control due to lack of discipline.

You're e-mailing the wrong house.  I don't have any sympathy for your kind.  Try somewhere else.

You're trying to play a victim here.  It ain't gonna work, sweetheart.  Don't like abuse?  You obviously do because you keep coming back for more.  

Smooth as any speech Jesus himself ever gave!  Yeah, tell me I ain’t got skills and you will get burned, know what I’m saying, shiznight?!  I AM THE SHIZZLE when it comes to my bitches and how to treat them.  This was my concrete way into this bitch’s pants.  WHOOO WHOOO!!!  Train is on it’s way to “Laid’s Ville” and the price has been paid in full!


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       Christine
      Date:      Jan 7, 2006 3:16 PM
no unlike most people like you I actually tell the truth an I don't belive in calling rape unless it were true I've heard to many chicks call rape see unlike them I do have proof of all 8 guys. they admit to it an take full responsability of it. as for my ass hole ex husband he is a crane opp. for an oil field I also have proof of him sleeping around an he an his bitches admit to it. I have medical bills for every time i was put in the hospitol for his shit. an I never once didnt cook clean or do anythign he asked being hit or not. but i was smart for getting out becouse his new bitch is still in the hospitol for his shit so dont tell me you know everything its people like you that make women who do get raped or hit scared to tell anyone. youre the reason why those girls get killed for staying becouse just as they think no one will care they run into someone like you an wind up dead when all they were doing is asking for help. an no i dont want you as a friend becouse as they say who needs enemys with friends like you. Id rather have real friends then someone who thinks his shit dont stink an hes better then anyone.  

Mmhmm…See?!  The whore can barely contain herself here!  At this point, I’m sure she was fucking herself with a broom handle and a condom just thinking about how much of the main man I am.  If you weren’t taking notes before, I know you are taking notes now.  Yeah, that’s it, bow before my greatness…now get up because you sicken me!  Now was the time to “Seal the Deal” as it were and firmly plant myself between her legs.


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       (USERNAME OMMITTED)
      Date: Jan 7, 2006 3:29 PM

Nah, I'm not better than anyone else.  I just know better than you, sweetheart.  Of the better people, you just aren't one of them.

Ah, yes, like I said, a job where he isn't around that much but is making bank...still not good enough for you, eh?  You deserve "so much more", don't you?

You made your beds and you had to lay in them.  Now that's not good enough for you.

Claming he beat you so bad, and yet you kept fucking him and got knocked up with someone you knew was that bad.  You're a TERRIBLE mother for placing your kids in that environment.  Not too smart if you ask me.

It took one light mark on an exfriend for me to put the guy in a hospital for three weeks with the help of four friends, so don't go talking to me about "not caring".

Know one real good reason I know you weren't raped?  You kept the alleged rape child.  Every time you look at him would remind you of the terror you allegedly faced.  Don't give me your lies.

Also, this is a pattern with you, isn't it?  Get knocked up and leave, milking the guy dry, then you get knocked up again and do it all over agin.

What's funny about all this is that I've stated everything truthfully.  I can rip through your deception and that's what has you so fumed.  Can't bullshit the bullshitter, sweetheart.

You know, you can end this all by simply ending the conversation.  Then again, you do seem to have glutteny for punishment.  

Booyah, baby!  If that didn’t reserve a space in her pants and between her thighs, I don’t know what will.  There obviously isn’t a lot I don’t know, so this would be the first time…or one of those odd times I didn’t know I didn’t know something. Makes you think, huh?


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       Christine
      Date:      Jan 7, 2006 3:40 PM

ohhh no you still dont know shit. you think you know everything but you dont not one thing ive said is a lie though you think you know everything whatever. an as for the money shit all i asked for in the divorce was full custidy of my son. I moved to get away from him he kept everything else house $$$ everything but my kids. so dont tell me i was in it for the $$$ I could care less about $$ as long as there is a roof over my kids head,s an food in their mouths, an they dont have to worry about my ex coming home an them seeing me bveat up or getting in the middle an something happening to them Im fine I dont need him or you. your no better then he is I wouldnt be a bit suprised if you were a fucking hipacrit an beat women up yourself. but try to act the hero so not to get caught  yeah ive dealt with your kind too. an as for likeing punishmet thats not it at all i just stand up for myself like alot of women cant.  

See what I mean?  Judging from this e-mail, which was hard for me to get at first, thanks to how intellectual she is, I have a reservation to munch poontang, party of one.  Well…she may invite friends over, since she seems very kinky and all, so I may get a seven course meal!  Mmm….seven courses of poontang, my favorite!!!  Like any gentleman, I had to confirm my reservation.


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       (USERNAME OMMITTED)
      Date: Jan 7, 2006 3:52 PM

You say your kids are your world, but you'll spend two hours it to bullshit with some anonymous guy over the Internet.  There's a difference between "standing up for yourself" and whining.

Said you knew one guy and then you said you got all eight busted...only thing busted here is you, in many ways.

Yeah, okay, you convinced me, you're a victim.

Maybe we should meet up.  You sound easy.  I already know you like the gangbang orgy.  Tell me, are you into anal fisting?  

With my reservation confirmation submitted, I had to be patient.  I wanted to be quick with it because she fires back so quickly to all my attention.  I mean, it would be rude of me to do so otherwise.


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       Christine
      Date:      Jan 7, 2006 4:02 PM

an Im not a victom im a survivor theres a difference an I dont need your approvel. as for us meeting you wish, Im not easy ask anyone whos I dont meet assholes would rather tell a women thats been raped that she deserved it. becouse no one deserves no anal is only for guys like you, who like to shove it in anyone ass.

as for my kids they are my world weather to belive it or not I gave up everything to protect them an if you think i would give up either of them youre crazy. weather they are from a rape or a bad marrage they are my kids an no one will ever take them from me they will have what they ..need an they will never be anything like you they will respect people an have compassion. they will both know everything when the time is right an they will grow stronger from it as i have I only wish you had the pleasure of knowing how it feels to have a heart an be loved no matter what but wonderful kids like mine. they are better then you will ever be.  

What the..?!  I think she confused me with someone else along the way, or she was trying to get me into something really kinky, which I’m not really into.  Whoever she was talking to is a real sick fuck who needs therapy.  Now…is it just me, or was she trying to say she’s fucking her kids?  Just to be sure, I had to lay some ground rules before I laid her.


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       (USERNAME OMMITTED)
      Date:      Jan 7, 2006 4:53 PM

I can hear your panties sloshing from here.  It's a good thing and nothing to be ashamed of.  Many woman use a broom handle with a condom.  Come to think of it...that happens a lot when I talk to women.  They just get so hot and bothered, they just suddenly send me a voice message with all kinds of moaning while doing it.

Lots people love the anal orgasm.  They show up for the company and stay for the butt sex.

Well, I'd all be for helping to tell your kid where his roots lie.  I mean, his natural instincts for the raping should be explained.  That way he won't think that he's a freak or anything.

Many times we reminded that everyone that we shouldn't love children like that.  Look at what happened to Michael Jackson.  I mean...he didn't molest them, he made love to them, but they still tried to put him away...racist bastards.  No, I'll stay away from kids, thanks.  That's no kind of "pleasure" I have interest in.

I'll thank you for no longer trying to tempt me with that kind of sick shit.  

Seeing as she knows, that I know, that she knows, that I know she’s been diddling herself while talking to me, she has to give into all the demands I set forth now.  I mean…come one…getting all freaky is one thing, but to include your kids?  That’s just fucking sick!  On a lighter note, I knew that a voice file of her screwing herself with a broom was coming (much like her) in the next e-mail message.  Damn, I’m a fucking pimp!


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       Christine
      Date:      Jan 7, 2006 5:20 PM

you are a sick ass bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you need to grow up an get a fucking life an then maybe you have aplace inthis world.only low life SOB's like you are the reason people have to go through what i have.i just hope god can forgive the shit you do.   

And then the bitch does this 180 on me!  She’s fucking herself with a broom and ~I~ am the sick bastard?!  I mean…what the fuck?!  I’ve been nothing but kind and sensitive for her sexual desires!  Once again, I’m sure she has me confused with some pervert, so I set the record straight with her once and for all!


     ----------------- Original Message -----------------   
      From:       (USERNAME OMMITTED)
      Date:      Jan 7, 2006 5:36 PM

I am not sick, nor is my ass.  I go to the doctor's for regular check ups, thank you very much!  Also, your obssession with anal sex is getting on my nerves now.  Enough talk about the butt sex and anal orgasms.

I'm 5'9", and while that isn't tall, it's not short.  I mean, at my age how much more growing can you expect me to do???  People pretty much stop growing after about 22.

There is a place for me.  It's very nice and nothing like a cellar with rats and mice for pets...or are you saying that because you heard something?  So help me, if I find out "he" fucking said ANYTHING to you about where I live!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not low life, I'm living the high life.  Sure, it's not the Millar High Life, but I like it.  Many of the rats and mice are well trained by this time.  Often times I make moss man figures to recreate famous battles throughout history.  Cheesy, my favorite little mouse, is a serious commanding officer who knows his history like nobodies business.  The guy always makes sure the battles are recreated accurately.

Well...guess you're kind of right...I mean, I've been putting you through so much, but you're the one that keeps messaging me.  If it weren't for people like me, when you message people, you might not spend four or five hours trying to convince an anonymous person over the Internet that you're who and what you say you to be me, I guess...but you're the one suffereing here, I suppose.

Lastly, God forgives the shit I do.  Nailing a chick from behind is far from a sin, unless your Catholic.  I think it's a sin then...oh, and the Military says it's against their law, too.  It's true, look it up!

I say it's a woman's right to choose...Missionary or Doggy Style!  Women didn't fight to have a choice for nothing!  

Thus, with the record straight, I waited for my love to answer me back, but alas, it did not happen.  In the uber chaos of a super intense, volcanic, world destroying orgasm, she must have given herself amnesia and forgot who she was talking to at the time.  Oh well…lesson learned.  I’m just too fucking sexy

       And so ends my mystical, magical, sexy tale.  It wasn’t until AFTER I sent that last message she finally stopped talking to me and blocked me.  I know it was afterwards because that e-mail went through and I couldn’t contact her after that.  I gave her MANY times to just walk away and end it.      Why didn’t ~I~ walk away?  I was having fun and had this in mind when I did the e-mailing.  Well, I did after the first time she e-mailed me back.  No clue as to why I didn’t do this before when people sent me requests…  Promise to do it from now on!  
Posted 1/21/2010 at 2:22 AM on Xanga

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