We don’t do things to be nice!

Let’s face it, guys are assholes and that rules hardcore. Women can complain all they want about it, but the fact is that we own just about everything, and on top of that, we run the world. We rock.

Heads up, chicks, we don’t do things to be nice. Sure, we might do something that can be considered nice, but there is more motivation behind it than being a good Samaritan. Don’t kid yourselves into thinking otherwise.

Case in point: I’m on the phone and the female tells me that while she was washing the car, the neighbor came over to “see how she was doing”. Hmm…hot female getting wet while washing the car…yeah, he’s just interested in seeing how she’s doing. She goes on to tell me that he’s just a nice guy and helped her was the top of her car, since she can’t really reach. Oh boy, how sweet of him.

Listen, even the nicest of things a guy does as the nicest of guys, he’s only doing that to (hopefully) get laid. There is no good dead with a man to a women. He has a kid? Doesn’t matter. He’s married? Even more reason why he’s over doing things to help you around the house. Obviously his wife isn’t putting out and he’s getting fed up, so while he’s hanging your new door, he’s hoping you’ll polish the knob in return. If he drops in a sink, he wants you to clean the pipes.

In all honesty, I cannot believe how naive some women can be at times. Yeah, you women use more of your brain constantly than men, but that’s only because it requires more parts of the brain to run on pure emotion than it does to on logic like men. Guess all the constant energy use burns out your brains, but comes out of your mouth in the form of nagging.

Of course, she turns the attention to me at this point by making the statement, “Yeah, well, you aren’t one of those kind of guys.” My retort? I inform her that things are reasonably different where we are concerned since it’s not like I just met her. See, had I just met her, I’d be doing things to get sex as well, but at this point I do things for her because I deeply care for and about her. The rules of engagement change when you’re actually with someone.

So, really, stop complaining. The nicest of guys do what they do in hopes of getting in your pants, not because they are great people with no other intention. We do nice things for you so you will do something nice to us. If we come over and hang your new big screen up, give off a hand job at least, otherwise we’ll end up raping our beanbag when we get home…not like the beanbag hasn’t been asking for it…

Posted 8/10/2007 at 12:10 AM on Xanga


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