Like I really don’t have enough to think and worry about right now. So, of course, I get home and find mail saying that registration on both my car and my motorcycle is due. On top of that, I have to smog my car for the first time, which is an additional fee. Oh, but I can’t just take it to any place, noooo…I have to take to a Colorado specific place. At least it isn’t far.
That isn’t the clincher of things, though. I was so tired after work that I ended up falling asleep on the couch, which never happens with me, only to have nightmares. Not just regular nightmares, though, nope. Nightmares where I’m trying to get into the dating scene, only to be, once again, repeatedly shot down time after time after time. Problem is, this isn’t far off from the truth in the past.
I don’t know why it’s bugging me or why today was so hard for me to get through. Actually, I do know why, and I fucking hate it. See, I’m rather good at shutting myself off from most of my emotions and not having them come back at me any time soon, but every now and again, the damn I’ve built leaks and then breaks. Guess today was the day. Issue with this is that it usually takes a few days for me to repair the problem.
Things that don’t help?
- Think I have a crush on this girl at work and having spoken with her more only made me think I do even more. Thing is, though, that I don’t think I’m necessarily her type, even if she is kind of mine. Actually, when I look back at a few of the females I’ve seen seriously, I guess she actually is really my type.
- Deleting messages in my MySpace Inbox and coming across a (new) user profile image of my ex. Never let myself be (justifiably) upset about that one…in my current state of disrepair, I was reminded of all the reasons I honestly loved that girl.
- Actually do kind of want to get back to “dating”, but with the academy coming up, I have neither the time nor the money to really do anything.
- If the past is any real indication of how things go, and let’s face it, the past is what I base 99% of my theories on, then I should really just give up now. Spending the next two years trying to get a date and only having people go out with me when they find out things that add to my “F.E.P.” (future earning potential) just doesn’t sound like much fun.
I have the place to myself all weekend, but that means shit since I have nobody to hang out with, no females to invite over, and no place to be. Hopefully the hand full of people I met at work (one of them being the chick I have a crush on) can all go see the Transformers movie on Tuesday. It’s our generation and they are all amped to see it. I’ll know on Monday. Wonder if any of them want to do something this weekend… Last ditch effort, I guess I could always tell the cute ass new girl to drop me her digits so we can go out.
Posted 6/28/2007 at 10:33 PM on Xanga