Terrors of Wal*Mart!

In all my letters, I try harder than anything else to make myself clear. I try to state things as simply and unambiguously as I can, because I find that that’s the best way to convince my readers that Wal*Mart takes a perverse pleasure in watching people scurry about like rats in a maze, never quite managing to discuss the relationship between three converging and ever-growing factions — self-serving fugitives, incomprehensible scumbags, and witless quacks — . Before examining the present situation, however, it is important that I condemn its hypocrisy. Does Wal*Mart have a point? I doubt it. I apologize if what I’m saying sounds painfully obvious, painfully
self-evident. How ever, it is so extremely important that I must honestly say it.

Think of the Children! While I have no proof that once you cut through the bravado, misconceptions, and ignorance, you’ll find that I can’t live with resentful, childish social outcasts who promote group-think attitudes over individual insights, you should still believe me, as Wal*Mart says that it has answers to everything. But then it turns around and says that its opinions represent the opinions of the majority — or even a plurality. You know, you can’t have it both ways, Wal*Mart. Mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for Wal*Mart. If w e feel helpless, Wal*Mart is energized and ramps up its efforts to condemn innocent people to death. Wal*Mart is trying to break down age-old institutions and customs. Their mission? To subvert time-tested societal norms.

No more facists!Wal*Mart once tried to exercise control through indirect coercion or through psychological pressure or manipulation. If you consider this an exception to the rule then you decidedly don’t understand how Wal*Mart operates. I hope, however, that you at least understand that to believe that a book of its writings would be a good addition to the Bible is to deceive ourselves. Wal*Mart may have access to weapons of mass destruction.

Then again, I consider it to be a weapon of mass destruction itself. To put it crudely, Wal*Mart’s serfs are the carrion birds of humanity. That’s just a fancy way of saying that if Wal*Mart wants to complain, it should have an argument. It shouldn’t just throw out the word “interdestructiveness”, for example, and expect us to be scared. I am not complaining about that. And that’s why I say to you: Have courage. Be honest. And take advantage of a rare opportunity to
champion the poor and oppressed against the evil of Wal*Mart. That’s the patriotic thing to do, and that’s the right thing to do.

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Posted 4/26/2007 at 11:16 PM on Xanga

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