From the horse’s mouth

Most of you don’t understand men at all and you don’t understand why we get so pissed off at “little things”. Guess what? They aren’t little things, they’re common sense. Here it is from the horse’s mouth and why we get so fed up with you.

1. We don’t care that much if you talk to other guys
We don’t care if you’re friends with other guys all that much. However, when you’re sitting next to us and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up, tackle him, then don’t introduce us, then yes, it’s an issue. It also doesn’t help if you sit there and talk for ten minutes without acknowledging the fact that we’re even in the room.Also, if you have slept with said person and talk about how you’re just good friends, but run to each other every time that there’s something going on, then there’s a huge issue there, too. No man is going to trust you with said person alone and for good reason.

2. We don’t care that much if some guy calls you
However, if it’s at 2AM we’re going to be getting a little concerned. Nothing is that fucking important at 2AM that it cannot wait until the morning.There are one or two things that are a exceptions to the rule, but only one or two. One of them is your gay friend calling. That’s okay. Second…no, there is no second…there’s only one.

3. We mean it when we tell you that you’re pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/stunning/etc.
Don’t argue it with us and don’t tell us we’re wrong. Believe me, we’ll stop putting up with your shit and stop trying to convince you. We’ll also stop telling you.

4. Don’t be mad when we hold open the door nor when we pay for you
Take advantage of the mood we’re in. If you want to be treated like a lady, you’re going to act like one. If you want to be treated like an equal, we’ll start getting separate checks, walking through doors normally, and talking to you like one of the guys. Smile and say, “Thank you.”However, remember to pay us back for it. If you don’t want to pay us back, then don’t accept our generosity. You don’t deserve anything simply for being who you are nor just for the fact that you’re a woman. Remember, it goes both ways, women.

5. Don’t say you’re getting dressed up for us
If we’re going out with you in the first place, you don’t have to dress up as sexy as possible, even though it’s nice, but don’t lie to us and say it’s for us. You’re dressing up for other women and other men. You want to feel sexy? How do you feel sexy? That’s right, by getting other women jealous and other men to stare at you.Don’t get take it wrong, get dressed up. Just don’t lie to us as to the reason. You know the truth, so do we, and if you lie it only makes us mad.

6. Don’t take everything we say seriously
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing and we use it a lot. See the beauty in it.

7. Don’t get so angry so damn easily
Want to get upset at everything about the guy? Then buzz off and go elsewhere. We only take so much of your crap before we have sex with your sister/cousin/best friend.

8. Stop using magazines or other media as your Bible
We don’t give a shit about what Doctor Phil, Oprah, or The View has to say. They are out of touch with reality and are nothing more than ignorant clucking hens…yes, even Doctor Phil.Cosmo doesn’t know shit about men. The only men working for the magazine are homosexuals and pathetic pussies they interview in the street with no jobs.Also, we don’t give a damn about Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney. Talk about them with your girlfriends and gay friends, that is why they are there.

9. We don’t want to hear about who you would screw
You are with us. We don’t want to hear how you would, “So totally screw Johnny Depp!” GET A FUCKING CLUE!

10. Don’t go up to a guy acting like a slut…it’s tired, played out, and annoying
Greet a guy with respect unless you only want to get laid and be treated like a whore. It’s more of a turn on to have a female greet us with, “Hey, handsome!” rather than “Hey baby/stud/sexy/cutie/man meat!” Women who use those words are nothing except for toss asides.If you’re upset about being a toss aside by men, then stop acting like one! Pick up men some place other than a bar for once in your life. You’d be surprised.

11. Don’t change how you treat a guy if he treats you politely
If someone is honoring your morals, makes you smile when you’re at your lowest, and cares about you even when you make a mistake, don’t start ignoring that person and heading for the bad boy again.You wonder where the good guys go? Women treat them like crap, so they get older, get more money, and then go with younger, hotter women and treat them like crap. Why? Because of how women treated them. Now you’re stuck with the losers who have no choice but to use dried up used women like yourself.

Posted 4/30/2007 at 3:58 PM on Xanga

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